Restaurants and kids.......

[kadesma]

You know, I love kids, and understand what GB says I had two boys one well behaved the other well you can guess. But they learned and love to go out to eat. One point I'd like to make, kids are kids. They get tired and grumpy. Just think how you feel when someone corners you and talks and talks and talks some more. You could scream, you're hungry and thirsty and still they talk. I get so angry when parents subject their little ones to this type of thing. I want to say please take the babies home and feed them and put them to bed. I also get so angry with a mom or dad who sit and eat and eat and eat while baby waits. I was taught to feed the children first, then I had my dinner. Just because a 6 month old can put a green bean in his mouth doesn't mean he can manage a knife and fork for heavens sake feed the poor baby.Sometimes it's selfishness that causes a bad time when eating out.Be forgiving if possible it could be you
kades

 

[Mimizkitchen]

Without a doubt mimi. Now that he's a grown man with kids of his own, he has joined the club of "perfection", don't cha know!!

Yeah him and the rest of our perfect children... I wonder do they have a DC for children of DC, i'd like to see what they say about there fantabulous parents... peeing myself...

 

[Kayelle]

You know, I love kids, and understand what GB says I had two boys one well behaved the other well you can guess. But they learned and love to go out to eat. One point I'd like to make, kids are kids. They get tired and grumpy. Just think how you feel when someone corners you and talks and talks and talks some more. You could scream, you're hungry and thirsty and still they talk. I get so angry when parents subject their little ones to this type of thing. I want to say please take the babies home and feed them and put them to bed. I also get so angry with a mom or dad who sit and eat and eat and eat while baby waits. I was taught to feed the children first, then I had my dinner. Just because a 6 month old can put a green bean in his mouth doesn't mean he can manage a knife and fork for heavens sake feed the poor baby.Sometimes it's selfishness that causes a bad time when eating out.Be forgiving if possible it could be you
kades

I couldn't agree with you more, Kades!! One of the points I was trying to make is for the most part, children just want to eat, and have no interest at all in dining......there is a vast difference.

 

[kadesma]

I couldn't agree with you more, Kades!! One of the points I was trying to make is for the most part, children just want to eat, and have no interest at all in dining......there is a vast difference.

You are so right. Poor tykes having to sit still while mom and dad gas with friends. All that happens is they get squirmy, whiney, and want to play and all they get is be quiet, or a smack which makes them cry and gets them more unwelcome attention. Phooey Mom and dad go out without them let them play at home with a grand mother and grand father who love and adore them everyone will be much happier. If you must take them, make it short and sweet and leave the pals til next time.
kades

 

[Alix]

I have always taken my kids to restaurants. In their younger years quite often (as someone always wanted to see the new babies and was footing the bill!) and they might not have always been angels, but they were never awful. They were never unattended, but they were often busy. We mostly went to "family" type places but occasionally to 5 star places. I think my biggest beef is the nasty glares some couples would give my family when we sat down next to them. The kids hadn't even DONE anything, we were just arriving at the restaurant! If you hate kids so much, don't go to a FAMILY restaurant!

My belief is that to perfect a skill you need to practice it. So...we took the kids out a lot. They practiced good behaviour and we practiced parenting without screeching.

When we were in DisneyWorld several years ago, we went to eat in the Italian restaurant in Epcot. The couple behind us made a point of stopping on the way out of the restaurant and complimenting me on my girls behaviour. She told me they were perfect ladies. That was a fairly proud parenting moment.

 

[buckytom]

My belief is that to perfect a skill you need to practice it. So...we took the kids out a lot. They practiced good behaviour and we practiced parenting without screeching.

well said, alix. i'm not sure how people expect kids to learn without taking them places and practicing manners. staying home with a babysitter certainly won't do it.

we've taken my son out a lot, and he hasn't always been perfect, but never running around and out of control. in fact, he loves to talk to the waiters and flirt with the waitresses, often drawing them a picture with the crayons and paper he was given to keep him busy.
it was so damned cute the we usually got excellent service, occasionally getting a nearby table annoyed at us for taking up so much time of the waitstaff.

we've eaten out in a few fancy places in nyc; ones without childrens menus and booster seats, and were never turned away as we wheeled in with a stroller that was put somewhere out of the way. other patrons immediately gave us "that glare" that we were about to ruin their entire existence for the evening, but my boy seemed to understand that it was a more expensive kind of place and acted in a calmer way. you just had to be quick to remove all of the extra silverware and stemware, lol.

as far as the snotty glares went, i just glared back at them for an inordinate amount of time, which eventually makes people really uncomfortable, lol. now who's the 4 year old?

i know you are, but what am i?

 

[Kayelle]

Again, rudeness can be ageless. I wouldn't dream of glaring at someone bringing in kids before they've even done anything. That's not acceptable at all in my book. Because I may feel that we may be in for an unpleasant experience, doesn't mean it will happen, and often doesn't. It's a rare person who "hates kids" and I'm sure not one of them. Why would anyone conclude that because most people enjoy eating in peace, they hate kids? One has nothing to do with the other.

 

[Andy M.]

Just curious, BT. How did YOU behave in restaurants?? Hmmmm?

 

[LPBeier]

I don't know about BT, but I was one of those kids who behaved very disruptively in a restaurant....once and only once!

I was about 9 months and my parents, older sister and grandmother were on a trip in the states. My Mom had fed me in the car on the way to finding a restaurant for everyone else. They stopped at a family restaurant and had me in a portable seat on the bench. I was bored and overtired, and wanted everything but every time they gave me something to play with I would throw it. I screamed and laughed and yelled. My parents could see all eyes on them and they wanted to have a quiet meal. So they put me in my seat on the floor under the table and I fell instantly asleep. This one woman who was complaining about this disruptive child was now complaining (very loudly) about this shameful mother who would put her child on the floor.

Fortunately I grew up with good manners and was never a problem again!

Not having children of my own I don't have any experiences that way; however, I agree that it is the parent's responsibility to keep control of there children and teach them manners. Would I put my child on the floor of a restaurant? If I knew that the quieter atmosphere would help her to go to sleep, of course I would!

 

[babetoo]

ah, how well i remember the cracker crushing debacle. my two year old son, was given crackers by a well meaning staff member. lots of crackers , which he promptly beat into submission with his hands. then he dumped his milk into the mix. on him, the floor and me. i picked him up and we all left. hubby stayed behind to get our food to go. very nice italian family restaurant he was to young, and had way to many crackers. he is a family man himself and has grandchildren , two under three. he complained they were unruly when we all ate out at thanksgiving. now all of a sudden he has perfect manners. pay backs are a b---

 

[CharlieD]

it is unfortunately not only problem in restaurants. Kids are simply not taught any manners today.

 

[Claire]

When I was young (12 or so), my father got fed up with one of my sisters' behavior. She wasn't unruly enough to disturb near-by tables, but she did make the rest of us miserable with fussy eating, pouting, etc. At the time there was a baby sister in the family (so I must have been 13) and my parents were hiring a baby-sitter for her anyway. So they told my 10 year old sis to shape up or the next time she'd stay home with the baby sitter. They followed through. So my parents, me, my 7 year old sister got to go out to eat, my infant sis and 10 year old sister stayed with the sitter. A lot of time punishment for a kid is just not making threats you don't mean, and following through whenever you do. I don't think the 10 year old misbehaved at dinner again. Going out to eat was a huge treat for us, Daddy didn't make that kind of money, so he'd get really angry when someone ruined it for him. Since he was paying a sitter AND taking his daughters out, then he got his money's worth from both!

What I don't think anyone has addressed in this is the safety issue along with the annoyance issue. I was a waitress at a fairly expensive steak place once upon a time, many moons ago, and our water glasses alone weighed a ton (14 oz cut glass). I don't think we served anything flambeed, thank heaven. But if a child is allowed the run of the restaurant, getting under the feet of a wait staff who has many pounds of food on a tray held above her head, some of it hot, well, you have a recipe for a disaster requiring an ambulance. That's not counting the buss staff who have huge tubs of stuff including sharp steak knives. The worst thing that happened to me was a carafe of hollandaise sauce landing on a customer's well-shod foot, but it could have been much worse.

 

[Alix]

t's a rare person who "hates kids" and I'm sure not one of them. Why would anyone conclude that because most people enjoy eating in peace, they hate kids? One has nothing to do with the other.

Kayelle, I think you've misunderstood my statement. I was not referencing you at all. My statement referred directly to the "glarers" who had no basis for being cranky who were seated in the middle of a "FAMILY" restaurant. Anyone who expects to "eat in peace" in the middle of a restaurant that caters to families with children is in for a rude awakening IMO. I'm not saying that parents don't have a responsibility to keep their kids under control, but rather that a certain amount of boisterous activity is better tolerated in that type of establishment. Hope that clarifies things for you.

BT, I've done the stare down a time or two myself. Usually with one brow raised in the "whatchulookinat" position. I had the advantage of two ruffled and curled little girls as well though. That usually got me some melting action from the waitstaff. My girls are teenagers now, and stunningly beautiful if I do say so myself. We STILL encounter sour looks from patrons when we walk into some restaurants as though they expect my girls to dance on tables or something. That really irks me. Seems to me that folks have every bit as much intolerance for teens as they do young children. I've noticed however, it seems the ones who give the snotty looks are the ones gabbing on their cell phones during dinner.

 

[Andy M.]

Alix, maybe it's not the kids that irk these patrons...

 

[Alix]

Alix, maybe it's not the kids that irk these patrons...

So you're saying I should stop swishing my enormous purse, talking loudly into my cell phone on the way into the restaurant and stop throwing my cutlery around??? Who are YOU to tell ME what I can do????

 

[Andy M.]

You left out, Chewing a large wad of gum with your mouth open.

 

[Alix]

And commenting about other diners (to the person on my phone) on my way to my table.

 

[buckytom]

Just curious, BT. How did YOU behave in restaurants?? Hmmmm?

when i was a kid, we had the "wait 'till your father gets home" kind of discipline in my house. that carried over to eating out. we had to act properly at the dinner table every night at home (washed up, no sleeveless shirts or ripped pants, etc.) or face the wrath of dad who was an excellent manipulator: never had to hit us, but he made you feel so bad for disappointing him that you never did it again.

so when we went out for dinner, no one ever even considered acting badly. we weren't well off by any means, so going out to dinner was a very special occasion. i can remember from a very young age, maybe 6 or 7, really enjoying dining out because you got to dress and act all fancy like we were rich, using the correct fork and having a linen napkin on your lap. i'm sure it's a large part of why i'm here (on foodie websites) today.

that's my point, though. that you need to involve your kids, or should i say be involved with your kids in a myriad of situations in order to teach them right from wrong. just getting a babysitter because you think your kid may act badly isn't the way to go.

k-l, i hope you didn't take my post as assuming you hate kids or openly act rude, but there certainly are a lot of people out there who do. people who dislike kids seem to like to let parents know. i would never put someone down who didn't have kids, rubbing their nose in what they've missed out on in life. but we've had fallings out with several old friends since we've become parents.

on the other side of the coin, you can't teach old dogs new tricks. as in, adults with bad manners and poor parenting skills will have kids with bad manners and who misbehave openly.

 

[Kayelle]

I honestly think that all of you people are terrific. I'd be pleased to join all of you and your lovely families for dinner anywhere. Thanks for a most interesting conversation.

 

[Andy M.]

...I'd be pleased to join all of you and your lovely families for dinner anywhere...

Hey everybody, dinner is on Kayelle!!!