On the first day of Christmas my true love said to me
I'm glad we bought a turkey and a real Christmas tree
On the second day of Christmas much laughter could be heard
As we enjoyed our turkey - a most delicious bird
On the third day of Christmas came the neighbours from next door
The turkey tasted just as good as it did the day before
On the fourth day of Christmas, relations came - poor Gran looks old -
We finished off the Christmas pud and had the turkey cold
On the fifth day of Christmas, outside the snowflakes flurried
But we were nice and warm inside and had our turkey curried
On the sixth day I must admit, the Christmas spirit died -
The children fought and quarreled - we had turkey rissoles, fried
On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love he did wince
When we sat around the table to confront the turkey mince
Day eight our nerves were getting frayed - the dog had run for shelter
When I served up turkey pancakes with a glass of Alka Seltzer
By day nine our cat had left our home and Dad was getting blotto
And said he needed a stiff drink to eat turkey risotto!
The tenth day all the drinks were gone except for home made brew,
And if that wasn't bad enough, we suffered turkey stew!
The eleventh day of Christmas, the Christmas tree was moulting
The mince pies were as hard as rocks and the turkey was revolting
The twelfth day of Christmas my true love had shining eyes,
The guests had gone, the turkey too - and we had fish and fries!!
What are your menus for Christmas day?
Enough is never as good as a feast Oscar Wilde