Kosher dinner emergency

[XeniA]

Oh my goodness, Hades! Ever so well-intentioned, but please stop!

My very dearest friend is an Israeli Jew. She would no more expect me to know the detailed in's and out's of her religion than I would expect her to know those of mine. She also would not DREAM of putting me out in a way such as you're describing, and I daresay your future guests, both, would be terribly embarrassed to think you're burning the midnight oil a full week ahead of time trying to get your entire meal in alignment with Kashrut laws, which as GB points out, are very complex.

Put yourself in their shoes: would you wish to know you were causing your hostess such anxiety? I wouldn't, nor would anyone even moderately well bred. If your colleague's wife so strictly observes Kashrut, she has no business accepting your invitation. Why, to make you feel bad for not being fully up to speed on the laws of her religion?!

So please, stop, take a deep breath, and start again, approaching this upcoming dinner as you would most any other, trying to get through it without having to call the little men in white coats for yourself, and making a reasonable attempt to please your guests with well-prepared and tasty food. Any number of Jews have to learn to adapt to situations where they cannot eat as they'd like and she's no exception. The onus is upon her, not upon you!

Besides, you haven't got a prayer of getting it right, so please hear me! (Should you feel I'm being too harsh saying that, try this link http://www.jewfaq.org/kashrut.htm which will point out that if you were to really go for getting it right, you'd have to change your saucepan, potholders, dishwasher ... why, even your spoon rest for heaven's sake!)

Alternatively, if you wish, please have a frank conversation with the hubby in this scenario and ask him to please advise you on a menu.

Again, however, since I'm almost yelling at you here to stop the madness, let me say again that I think your desire to do this says endlessly nice things about you!

 

[GB]

I, along with many people I'm sure, would be very interested to know the reasons why. Instead of confining it to PMs, can this be an open discussion?

Because the reason has to do with religious discussions I can't write about it here in the open forums as it is against our community policies. That is the only reason why I need to confine it to PM's. I am more than happy to discuss it with anyone that way though. I will send you a PM in a sec Chopstix. And anyone else who is curious (I have already had a few takers) please feel free to send me a PM and I will happily explain what I have been taught.

 

[VeraBlue]

There are lots of 'rules'...some people are more lenient than others. The fact that you are even trying is commendable.

You cannot mix meat and dairy in the same course. In other words, no butter on the table for the bread. No butter in the mashed potatoes if served with meat.

If you made a noodle kugel, you'd have to serve it as a seperate course, on seperate plates.

A home that is kept kosher would have seperate pots and pans for cooking meat and dairy dishes.

Any guest who would expect you to go to that extreme would be unreasonable. Your guests accepted your invitation without giving you guidelines so I suspect they will enjoy your meal, regardless of what you prepare.

If I were you, I'd find a kosher butcher for the meat. I'd also look up holiday menu ideas and include those. I would keep dairy and meat seperate throughout the meal.

Good luck.

 

[GB]

Oh my goodness, Hades! Ever so well-intentioned, but please stop!

My very dearest friend is an Israeli Jew. She would no more expect me to know the detailed in's and out's of her religion than I would expect her to know those of mine. She also would not DREAM of putting me out in a way such as you're describing, and I daresay your future guests, both, would be terribly embarrassed to think you're burning the midnight oil a full week ahead of time trying to get your entire meal in alignment with Kashrut laws, which as GB points out, are very complex.

Put yourself in their shoes: would you wish to know you were causing your hostess such anxiety? I wouldn't, nor would anyone even moderately well bred. If your colleague's wife so strictly observes Kashrut, she has no business accepting your invitation. Why, to make you feel bad for not being fully up to speed on the laws of her religion?!

So please, stop, take a deep breath, and start again, approaching this upcoming dinner as you would most any other, trying to get through it without having to call the little men in white coats for yourself, and making a reasonable attempt to please your guests with well-prepared and tasty food. Any number of Jews have to learn to adapt to situations where they cannot eat as they'd like and she's no exception. The onus is upon her, not upon you!

Besides, you haven't got a prayer of getting it right, so please hear me! (Should you feel I'm being too harsh saying that, try this link http://www.jewfaq.org/kashrut.htm which will point out that if you were to really go for getting it right, you'd have to change your saucepan, potholders, dishwasher ... why, even your spoon rest for heaven's sake!)

Alternatively, if you wish, please have a frank conversation with the hubby in this scenario and ask him to please advise you on a menu.

Again, however, since I'm almost yelling at you here to stop the madness, let me say again that I think your desire to do this says endlessly nice things about you!

While this is all true, the other side of the coin is that your guest, I am sure, would be flattered and very appreciative that you went through the effort to respect her dietary restrictions as best as you could. I do not think that Hades is going overboard in trying to do these things. No matter what, the meal will not be kosher and his guest already knows that. She will, I am sure, be honored that you tried though.

It would be just like if you were having a vegitarian over for a meal. Most people would try to at least serve things they know their guest would eat. Most people would not serve hamburgers with a side of meatballs.

The Kashrut laws are so vast and complex that I doubt that there is a single person who has ever kept 100% kosher. The goal is to just do the best you can and always move towards doing better. If you have a guest over who keeps kosher then they will just look to do the best they can while being your guest. If they do not feel comfortable breaking the rules then they already know that they can not accept your invitation. Very few people take it to that extreme (some do though of course).

 

[GB]

A safe way to go if you are really worried would be a vegetarian meal. As far as the food restrictions, vegetarian meals are kosher. Of course since your kitchen, pots and pans, utensils, etc. are not kosher then nothing you make or serve will technically be kosher, but I am sure your guess will be fine with that since she has accepted your invitation.

 

[Lizannd]

Maybe the easiest would be to serve a vegetarian meal?

Maybe a nice eggplant parm or veggie lasagna?

 

[XeniA]

While this is all true, the other side of the coin is that your guest, I am sure, would be flattered and very appreciative that you went through the effort to respect her dietary restrictions as best as you could. I do not think that Hades is going overboard in trying to do these things. No matter what, the meal will not be kosher and his guest already knows that. She will, I am sure, be honored that you tried though.

I do completely agree with what GB says above, Hades -- there isn't any doubt that it would be flattering to have you try to please your guests in this way. I just wished to encourage you to find that fine line of yes, trying not to offend their religious sensibilities, but still trying to have a good time yourself and have it be a fairly "normal" bit of entertaining.

I hope it's a fun dinner after all. It would be lovely to hear back from you how it went.

 

[GB]

I just wished to encourage you to find that fine line of yes, trying not to offend their religious sensibilities, but still trying to have a good time yourself and have it be a fairly "normal" bit of entertaining.

A very good point indeed!

 

[Constance]

Here's the menu and recipes for a Jewish-inspired dinner the Contessa made for her husband Jeffrey. It sounds delicious to me.

http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/show_ig/episode/0,1976,FOOD_9971_38395,00.html

 

[GB]

Something to keep in mind is that Kosher and Jewish do not mean the same thing. The Contessa's meal is not kosher because she is serving meat, but the spinich dish is made with butter.

 

[ChefJune]

You cannot mix meat and dairy in the same course.

It's more than that. You cannot mix meat and dairy in the same MEAL! For sure.

Your friends know you do not have a Kosher kitchen. You don't have to know all the laws to make a meal any Jew whe accepts your invitation to dinner can enjoy. Decide on Meat or Dairy. If you choose meat, you can't use butter. Okay, there's olive oil! no cheese in the risotto... no dairy anything in the dessert. How about apple pie? (Use crisco for the crust)

If you choose dairy, you can also serve fish. Fish is neutral. Now you can bake a cake for dessert, or ice cream, or any other dairy centered dish. Veggies go fine with either type of meal.

No pork No shellfish (I didn't think you were considering goat, but no goat, either!)

You'll do fine!

 

[shpj4]

The best way to research a Kosher dinner is through various cookbooks.

I am Jewish and today is Yom Kipper which is the highest Jewish Holiday. It is the celebration of the New Year.

Good luck with your cooking Kosher.

 

[Hades]

Ohhh yeah, that's right... I forgot about that. To all jewish members and readers: happy Yom Kippur
And thanks everyone for the support and input. I'll check tomorrow, but I hope my guests will be happy with kosher meat and fish and no dairy in the meal. Despite the fact that I love veggies, cooking vegetarian is not my strong point.
I was already aware of the fact that I wouldn't be able to cook kosher to orthodox rabbi standards (to start with, I (and my kitchen ware) come in contact with "unclean" products on a daily basis), but my intention was to accomodate and respect my guests to the best of my ability. Kinda like I wouldn't put steak tartare on the menu if I know I'm entertaining veganists (and still invite them for a home dinner instead of taking them to a specialised restaurant) .
Unless I'm informed that i'll have to come up with a vegetarian menu, this is what I'll be serving:
* chicken stock (to start with a "typical" touch)
* pan fried dover sole with a fresh herbs sabayon (eggs, white wine, flavourings) typical to none probably, but it tastes good
* boef bourgignon ("typical" for my style of french/belgian cooking) with a steamed potato
* some "typical" desert if I can find a recipe that doesn't call for dairy products
I'll see if I can come up with appropriate kosher wines too. I assume it's ok to serve some ciabata or similar bread with these dishes (w/o the butter)?

 

[AllenOK]

Pears poached in wine for dessert? Sorbet?

 

[GB]

Your meal sounds wonderful and I am sure your guests will be very appreciative of all the thought and effort you put into this meal.

Bread is absolutely fine to serve.

Ask at your local liquor store about kosher wines. They used to be kind of limited, but more and more liquor stores are carrying a wider selection.

 

[Claire]

A person who actually "keeps Kosher" wouldn't eat at my house, period. You need two sets of dishes and cooking pots. However, I make a point to have some food that has no pork or shellfish when Jewish friends visit (ditto Islamic). There is no way that most of us can cook to order for all our guests when we have a large variety of cultural differences. I have friends who are all types of vegetarians (to include a couple of vegans), Jewish, Muslim and a great variety of Christians. So I try to put out one dish that will offend no one when it is a big party. I also am a big believer in "potluck". In other words if your eating habits -- be it religious, philosophical, allergy-based, cultural -- whatever, please bring a dish to share when it is a party for a large group. By the way, I was a huge hit at an acquaintance's vegan bash. When I'm cooking for just one other couple or family, I work with it. But usually when I entertain, there are a half dozen or more people, and I just ask people to contribute a dish if they have restrictive dietary needs.

 

[Harborwitch]

Hades, good luck on your dinner. It sounds really good. Remember, check the labels on soft (less hydrogenated) margarines - many of them are kosher.

For Dessert may I suggest:
Apple Cake (Parve)

From Paula Levine Weinstein and Julie Komerofsky Remer
What do you get when you cross apples with flour, oil, eggs, sugar and spice? This kosher parve Apple Cake recipe from Ohio caterers Paula Levine Weinstein and Julie Komerofsky Remer. Julie says this recipe is by far their customers' favorite dessert.
INGREDIENTS:

• 3 cups flour
• 1 Tbsp. baking powder
• 1 tsp. salt
• 2 cups sugar
• 1 cup cooking oil
• 4 eggs
• 2 1/2 tsp. vanilla
• 1/4 cup orange juice
• 2-3 apples, sliced
• 1 tsp. cinnamon
• 3/4 cup granulated sugar

PREPARATION:

1. Place all ingredients (except apples, cinnamon and 3/4 cup sugar) in a large mixing bowl. Beat until smooth.
2. Pour half the batter into a greased tube pan with a removable bottom.
3. Sprinkle with cinnamon sugar.
4. Arrange half the apples, then sprinkle with more cinnamon sugar.
5. Repeat layer.
6. Bake at 300 degrees Fahrenheit for 75-90 minutes.

VARIATION: Put half of the apples, sugar and cinnamon in the middle of the cake and the other half on top of the cake.

 

[ChefJune]

happy Yom Kippur

Thanks, but Yom Kippur isn't "happy." It's the Day of Atonement... a very solemn day. (for future reference)

 

[ella/TO]

I'm giggling here after reading all the do's and don'ts.....If your guests were strictly kosher, they would not eat in your home. It's too bad the hubby did not explain exactly what he meant about his wife's eating habits. I don't keep a kosher home, but I make all sorts of Jewish dishes that taste exactly like my grandma made them. The fact that they are Israeli does not mean that they keep kosher eating habits. Just go for it and ENJOY to the fullest!

 

[CharlieD]

How in the world did I miss thread I do not know, Oh, weell, it's too late now.