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Old 06-26-2006, 12:17 PM   #1
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Anorexic Friend

A few years ago, I lost one of my best friends, and I have taken her 45 year old divorced daughter under my wing. SL is bi-polar, and ended up being over-medicated for several years after her mother's death. She also was drinking quite heavily, which added to the problem.
She was a beautiful woman until she stopped eating. She did go through re-hab, and got her alcohol and drug problems straightened out, but she still has the eating disorder. Thing is, her stomach has shrunk so much, that now, if she eats more than a handful, she gets sick and throws up.
Her anorexia is so severe that she literally looks like she's been in a concentration camp. She is nothing but skin and bones.
SL is aware that she has a problem, and is finally trying to correct it. But she is so far gone, I'm afraid that if she gets sick, she's going to die. So many foods don't appeal to her or don't go down well.
My husband and I can get her to eat...Saturday night she ate 1/4 a baked potato with butter and sour cream, 2 asparagus spears, and about a 3" circle of pork steak. I've made sure she has easy to prepare, healthy food in her apartment, and check on her every day to make sure she's eaten.

I desparately need advice on how to help her!

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Old 06-26-2006, 12:19 PM   #2
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You're doing a good thing! Hugs to you!
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Old 06-26-2006, 12:25 PM   #3
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Will she listen if you try to get her into a treatment program? This is too big an issue for you to try to deal with on your own. Keep doing what you are doing and look at your local hospitals for an inpatient program. Good luck.
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Old 06-26-2006, 01:06 PM   #4
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I don't know if she will or not, Alix, but I'm you're afraid you're right. That's a good idea...I'll call around and see what I can find.
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Old 06-26-2006, 01:23 PM   #5
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((((Constance)))Going through this with my daughter as an inpatient - I am hearing the same thing over and over again-until the victim of the disease is ready to take control- they cannot be helped. I know you said that she wants to take charge but, if she is medically at a point where her stomach has atrophied so much that she cannot tolerate healthy amounts of food- she really needs professional help.I have had to witness in the past few days breathing skeletons with nasogastric tubes so they may be nourished,The florr that Kiersten is on the ages range from 15-48 and the worst are the older patients because of how long the disease has been in control.God Bless you for being so supportive and loving-she is very blessed to have you.Love and energy, Vicki
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Old 06-26-2006, 06:27 PM   #6
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You all are very kind, but you would do the same if you were in my shoes.
I talked to her just now, and a friend had taken her out to dinner last night, and bought her a steak, steamed broccoli, garlic mashed potatoes and a salad. She said she ate "some of everything".
She has a doctor's appointment Wednesday, as a follow-up to her last bout with "stomach flu", which put her in the hospital.
I told her she needs to talk to him about how to put on some weight. But since he has seen her, he's obviously aware of her problem, which is probably why he wanted her to come back.
His nurse and receptionist are lifelong friends of mine (small town, ya know), and I may call one of them and put a bug in her ear. Do you think that would be improper?
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Old 06-26-2006, 06:53 PM   #7
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She might want to try the Spirulina Protein drink it has the good yeast,bee pollen,spirulina,protein and a host of other really good nutritious ingredients,it come in vanilla,chocolate and strawberry.I dont recommend the carob flavor but the a personal choice on my part, you can mix it up with milk,soy milk or Rice Dream it should be really easy on her stomach and will really give a good amount of nutition.Also it tastes really good.Heck if shes so inclined add a scoop of ice cream also.
Its found at heath food stores and some of the bigger grocery stores dont let them talk you into something else as most other protein drinks dont taste that good if you cant find that one the next one I would try is Tigers Milk protein powder.
Next idea is yogurt and fruit smoothies.
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Old 06-26-2006, 07:18 PM   #8
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Constance, clearly this person has severe problems.

Agree with Alix that this is beyond anyone's ability to cure without very skilled professional help.

I hope you can find that for her.

In the meanwhile I guess all you can do is get her to eat as much as you can.

You have to realize you are doing your best, and sometimes there are no good answers.

Some problems are beyond the best of our abilities, all we can do sometimes is try to help.

God bless and stay in there. I wish I could be of any help.
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Old 06-27-2006, 06:48 AM   #9
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As a person who has been through eating disorders I have to tell you, the more you talk about it to her, the worse it will be. She obviously needs professional help, but really all you can do is make sure there is good food available to her. After that it is up to her. Even if you see her eat, chances are she'll find a way to void it later when you aren't around. Try to make a point of NOT talking about the problem. Eating is just a natural, wonderful part of life. Make sure the food is there, but do not push it. Unfortunatley, in spite of overweight being a big problem in this country, we worship at the altar of bone-thin and disdain people who are overweight. Make sure she is getting the professional help she needs, make sure the food is there. After that there isn't much you can do, and the more you talk about it, the more she will obsess. Trust me, I've been there.
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Old 06-27-2006, 08:30 AM   #10
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I'm so sorry to hear this Constance. Your a wonderful, dear friend to reach out. I agree that she has to want to get better in order to get better.....no one can do it for her. From what you've written I wonder if she felt she had no control in her life and once she started this she felt like this was the one thing she could control without realizing it was actually the other way around and it turned out controlling her. She def. needs professional help. I'd do all the research in and around the area and see what treatment programs are available then present them to her and tell her the help is there if she truely wants it. I think her problems go beyond the anorexia and its going to be a rough road to recovery for her. My prayers are going up for her. Bless you for being there for her.
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