"Discover Cooking, Discuss Life."

Go Back   Discuss Cooking - Cooking Forums > Recipes & Ingredients > Beverages and Wine > Alcoholic Drinks
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
 
Old 10-17-2004, 12:42 AM   #1
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,018
These are nearly Suicidal (no, they are suicidal)

These are nearly suicidal, but God did let a few of us live, to serve as bad examples, or warnings to the rest of you...(don't try if you are older than, say, 25, and/or are not in the semi-pro athlete shape that the military gets you into)

A 40 ounce bottle of vodka...
Add a 48 ounce recipe package of Tang juice crystals...
Mix very well and chill very hard...
Serve like that, WITHOUT ADDING ICE...you'll swear its just "Tang" until your skull hits the floor or furniture...
Note that if you add any water or ice, all of a sudden, your taste buds have a comparator, and you can't drink it...

__________________________________________________ ___________

The Canadian "Sneaky Pete"

Try this when Ice Fishing...

A good, cold Canadian beer such as "Blue", or "Canadian" in one gloved or mittened hand, and a bottle of "Triple X" Port wine in the other, taking alternate sips...

Warning: Stay away from the raging campfire on the ice, as one guy (no, damnit! Not me!) drifted off to a gentle sleep in his brand new nylon Skidoo suit while doing this "research" and woke to find the clothing had melted from the proximity of the flames...the co-"researchers" being likewise incapable of either "saving him" or observing his unspoken distress...

__________________________________________________ ___________

The "Infantryman"

Take your standard bar rack of so many years ago, with the inverted bottles standing over the dispensors...usually two bottles of Cdn Rye Whisky, Scotch, Vodka, Gin, Dark Rum, White Rum and, periodically, Amber Rum...in a 12 oz mug, pump one shot from each bottle of the liquors that are not clear (ie vodka gin and white rum) into the mug...add a shot of creme de menthe...fill with a modest amount of your choice of "mix", and "serve"...we used to do this to guys on their "Stag Night"...it was wise to have both a waste basket handy, and a clear path to the washrooms...I can vaguely recall it being done to me...waking up in a toilet cubicle, "torture testing" my Timex in the toilet bowl, with an airborne type climbing over the wall to release the door lock...

__________________________________________________ __________

The "Drop Short" (a tribute to the Artillery, Queen of Battle...)

A large mug of very cold bottled beer...
Drop a jigger of Scotch into it, and be caused to pitch it back and drink it straight down...(beer, beer, beer, Scotch...)

__________________________________________________ __________

Air Force Punch is recorded elsewhere in this section, served at numerous Mess Dinners and Dining In Nights to repetitive and predictable results...

Whereas I relate it being served at our reception, regrettably, the second batch of mix was not added to it at the time my new wife expressed that she eas "very thirsty"...my trusted "Best Man" made off to get her a glass of punch, and gave her 8 oz of the "undiluted"...needless to say, it was probably the only dance we have ever been at where we waltzed, and she permitted me to "lead"....

__________________________________________________ __________

From the observation of Permanent Force Type's research, it has been determined that if it is -50 degrees outside ambient temperature, and you bury a bottle of "fine" vodka in the snowbank...it will not, in fact, freeze and break the glass...it does get somewhat jelled, and slow moving...

Drinking it "straight" (like who's going to add an icecube?) will assure you of frostbite like damage to your mouth, teeth, tongue, esophagus and stomach...

If you should be living in said environment, in, say a 5 or 10 man Arctic Tent, no doubt you have the Coleman stove going full blast as well as the Coleman Lantern (which throws most of the heat!) and have a pot of water on both stove burners, one for coffee for the firewatch guy and the other tends to get the fruit drink crystals dissolved to it from the ration packs...

If you fill your canteen cup with the fruit drink crystal mix, and carelessly add a couple or three ounces of the "jelled vodka", you will reduce the temp of the very hot fruit drink mix to a point where it will cost your body calories to digest these many calories you are ingesting, which will make you both sick and cold...

__________________________________________________ __________

I will repeat my coment that God allowed a few of us to survive if only to be "bad examples" or "warnings" to the rest of you...on the other hand, where two or more of us "survivours" are gathered in one place, the reunions are remarkable! Everybody KNOWS who it was, at a "housewarming" party for a new bride, wed to the military guy in January, went staggering off into the Stygian darkness of the backyard (there was only one toilet) and rolled in a few moments later with the somewhat drunken advice "Don't eat any yellow snow!" before passing out (And no, damnit, it wasn't me!)

__________________

__________________
Lifter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-17-2004, 08:32 AM   #2
Chef Extraordinaire
 
mudbug's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: NoVA, beyond the Beltway
Posts: 11,166
I promise never to imbibe these concoctions unless you are there to guide me, Lifter. Whew!
__________________

__________________
Kool Aid - Think before you drink.
mudbug is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-17-2004, 12:15 PM   #3
Hospitality Queen
 
jkath's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Southern California
Posts: 11,448
your writing style is wonderful! Please feel free to write on more subjects!
As for the "experiments..." well, I could just picture you there in your melted suit!

Have a drink on me, but make it a coffee drink!
__________________
Come visit my foodie blog: www.SockmonkeysKitchen.com
This week's topic: Pinterest and Potatoes
jkath is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-18-2004, 02:03 PM   #4
Senior Cook
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Long Island, New York, USA
Posts: 485
I have a recipe for SUICIDE POTATOES I'll post tomorrow. You could eat it with this drink.
__________________
debthecook is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-20-2004, 09:02 PM   #5
Senior Cook
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Long Island, New York, USA
Posts: 485
Suicide Potatoes

5 lbs russet potatoes
1 lb Velveeta (DO NOT SUBSTITUTE)
1/2 cup bacon bits or 5 slices cooked bacon
1 to 2 cups mayonnaise

Oven 400. Grease 9x 13 pan
Wash and dry potatoes, poke with fork all sides, bake 45 min till tender.
When cool, dice into 3/4 inch cubes, you could leave the skins on.
Cut Velveeta into small cubes.
Combine in a large bowl Potatoes, Velveeta and bacon. Add Mayo to
cover and coat all, mix thoroughly. Transfer to baking dish, bake 45 min to 1 hour until brown and crisp.
__________________
debthecook is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



» Discuss Cooking on Facebook

Our Communities

Our communities encompass many different hobbies and interests, but each one is built on friendly, intelligent membership.

» More about our Communities

Automotive Communities

Our Automotive communities encompass many different makes and models. From U.S. domestics to European Saloons.

» More about our Automotive Communities

Marine Communities

Our Marine websites focus on Cruising and Sailing Vessels, including forums and the largest cruising Wiki project on the web today.

» More about our Marine Communities


Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:52 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 4
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.