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Old 01-28-2010, 01:20 PM   #131
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Originally Posted by Chef Mark View Post
mine involved my then future in-laws...crawfish bisque and allergic reation for my sweet little soon to be mother-in-law

Dropping a can of Orange Soda into a Deep Fryer...made for a lovely Guiser

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Old 01-28-2010, 08:47 PM   #132
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today i made ny bread. noticed my yeast said nov. i pushed it anyway. it rose as it should. however when baked the crust is way to hard and the loaf fairly flat. gonna dip in french onion soup anyway.

all that work for lousy bread.

"life isn't about how to survive the storm but how to dance in the rain"
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Old 01-28-2010, 11:17 PM   #133
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Chicken enchiladas ala floor.

I was makeing some green enchilada sauce from a recipe that was really a pain.Every ingrediant was fresh and it also seemed to include every thing you could ever think of.Word to the wise, the blade on your blender goes inside of the screw on base not the other way around.I made it half way to my pot before the bottom fell out.What a mess and a great memory.
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Old 01-29-2010, 12:54 PM   #134
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I almost burned down my kitchen on New Year's Day. I placed a plastic & rubber coated stainless steel bowl (OXO) in the oven to warm up the plastic so it can be peeled off easily from the outer shell of the bowl. (The pastic was partially melted from my wife placing this bowl next to the hot stove several days prior so I wanted to remove the rest of it by softening it in the oven)
I left it in the oven and went to check my email thinking I'll come back in a couple of minutes. That never happened.
About 15 minutes later I smelled this awful, toxic fume in the house. I panicked, ran into the kitchen and saw heavy black smoke pouring out of the oven door.
I made the mistake of opening the oven door. It fed fresh oxygen and a huge 3 foot wide ball of flame shot out of the oven and shot straight up to the top of our 15ft kitchen ceiling, blackening the entire side of the wall. It singed part of my eyelashes.
For the next hour I couldn't open the oven door as flames kept shooting out every time I tried to crack open the oven door. During that time I had a fire extinguisher in place and buckets of water just in case.
I just waited it out till the oven cooled. The oven was ruined. It was covered with toxic crap and still is. The inner insulating glass cracked. I felt very bad.

I was very stupid that morning. I could have been badly burned. I haven't been that frightened since the Northridge quake of '94 when I thought the whole house was going to come down. Yes, I was stupid that morning. Boy, was I stupid.
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Old 01-31-2010, 11:10 AM   #135
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decorative rice

my worst recent disaster was when my husband and I were cooking a Mexican dinner for his brother and sister-in-law. I always make rice in the microwave. Her microwave is obviously much more high power than mine - and I got distracted. When I took the rice out - it had all piled up on the sides of the Corning-ware dish and hardened into a dried pile of brown crunch. We laughed - pulled it out of the dish, put little, red, dried chile peppers on top for decoration and set a red candle in the middle of it - made a great candle ring to decorate the table.
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Old 02-10-2010, 12:41 AM   #136
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I am not sure what counts as the worst, but I've had a few bad ones:

I was trying to bake a turkey wing in a glass pan for a past girlfriend and was trying to check and see if it was done. I was afraid it was drying out so I took a glass of cold water and poured it into the hot glass pan. The entire pan disintegrated into tiny glass cubes all over the oven!

I was frying myself a burger and decided I wanted lemon juice and pepper on it. I proceeded to pour the lemon juice onto the burger and suddenly the oil in the pan erupted into flames that seemed as high as the ceiling. I quickly grabbed the nearest lid and clasped it over the pan. I can't remember if my burger was okay or not. :)

I think most vegans who want brownies come across this one: I looked at the ingredients on a box of brownie mix and noticed it contained all vegan ingredients -- any eggs or milk was to be added later by the consumer. "Cool", I thought. "I will just take some Ener-G Egg Replacer (basically tapioca starch) and use it for the egg substitute." I used the egg replacer powder for the eggs and put it in the oven. When it came out of the oven, the chocolate flour part was literally as hard as a rock and it was floating in this sea of water and oil! Most inedible brownies ever! Trust me, I tried! I've since looked up some actual recipes for vegan brownies. :)

Once, when working at KFC, I was washing dishes and had two large piles of dishes piled very high on both of my clean breading stations. I stood between the two tables and began to slip on the wet floor, so I grabbed onto one pile of dishes to stablize myself. The pile began to tilt and I began to slip some more, so I grabbed the other pile of dishes. Suddenly, it was me on my butt and all the dishes on the floor in one huge crash!

I've set the fryers on fire a few times working at KFC by accidentally leaving them on after I drained the oil. Fortunately, I know how to put out a fire too!
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Old 02-10-2010, 12:46 AM   #137
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Originally Posted by roadfix View Post
I almost burned down my kitchen on New Year's Day...
You definitely get my vote! I am just glad you're okay!
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Old 02-12-2010, 08:56 AM   #138
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My most memorable kitchen disaster occured when my wife's WHOLE FAMILY was over for mother's day, Memorial day, something big holiday like that. The whole family gets together for these events. I had recently gotten a large container of Emeril's Essence from Sams Club, so I decided to use it as a rub for the chicken I was grilling for the 20+ people at my house. I went WAY overboard on the spice amount. I basically coated the chicken in the Essence, and no one could eat it. Since then I have noticed that when Emeril uses it he takes a pinch and BAMs it on the top of the dish. All has been forgiven though, the family has gladly eaten everything I have cooked since then!
More recently though I was frying up some tortilla chips, and as I was turning them over my spring loaded tongs slipped in my hand and snapped open. Oil splashed on me and my wife, who was standing next to me washing dishes. I wasn't burned too bad, but some got on her bare arm. Not fun! Good to keep some aloe in the kitchen along with that fire extinguisher!
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Old 03-04-2010, 11:57 AM   #139
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I broiled a bundt cake!! This was a classic air-head moment. When I preheated the oven, I specifically checked that both knobs were on broil. (Oven had issues so it was important to be precise!!) I just wasn't thinking. I knew how to bake a cake!! I was just rushing and not thinking.

The funniest part was that my parents were downstairs eating (right next to the oven). My husband and I were upstairs. We smelled the smoke and were wondering what my parents were doing. We went downstairs and they were just sitting there, completely oblivious to what was going on. My husband opened the oven door and thick, black smoke poured out. He slammed the oven door shut and said, "What the h*ll is in there?!" I told him it was a bundt cake...I made it as a surprise! He opened the front door, then opened the oven and ran with the cake...throwing it outside. It landed in a snowbank. I will never forget the sizzling sound it made as it melted into the snowbank! (This happened about 17 years ago!)

The next day, my dad retrieved the cake. It was completely black...like charcoal. He wrapped it in plastic wrap and left it on the kitchen counter for days, offering it to everyone who visted. (A nice joke at my expense!!)

About a week later, my dad spread peanut butter all over it, tied a rope to it and hung it on the tree outside the kitchen window for the birds. They loved it. (It looked like a tire swing.) They pecked at it for weeks before it finally broke apart and fell to the ground.
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Old 03-04-2010, 12:19 PM   #140
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Burndt Cake! Glad to see you have a good sense of humor about it.

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