Kitchen Disasters

[LPBeier]

I have had a lot of kitchen disasters, but I think it is always worse when it happens when I am "on the job".

I was catering a wedding a few years ago and was responsible for the cake (four teirs fondant covered and decorated with 100 gumpaste daisies - I think I posted a picture awhile back), a tea reception for approximately 200 and the dinner reception for 150. The cake went together with no problems.

The bride is terribly allergic to seafood and we agreed there would be NOTHING fishy going on at her wedding. I had another wedding tea for the following week so I was making all the stuff for both at the same time. I made quiche Lorraine for wedding A and shrimp quiche for wedding B. I labled them as such in the freezer; however the labels came off and DH pulled out some of the shrimp quiche as we packed up for wedding A. I noticed it at the venue and put them aside. The couple were paying for their own wedding and didn't have a lot so I used a lot of volunteer help. I did say that the container in the cooler was not to be used, but the person who put it out wasn't there at the time. Thankfully my daughter had helped me on stuff and was able to recognize that these were the wrong ones just as the bride was about to eat one. It turned out okay, but I learned my lesson about carefully checking all food and labelling it properly.

At the dinner reception I had notes for my volunteers about everything and was out assembling the cake when the greek salad was being made. I had a large jar of green olives for the pickle tray and 3 cans of black olives for the salad. All they could see were the green olives and had just put them in and mixed it up when I came back to the kitchen. It was too late to take them out. I heard several murmurs about not ever having green olives in their greek salad before.

Everything else for both weddings went without a hitch.

 

[drewthechef]

On the line at my first job in a kitchen at a famous Orlando "theme park". Cooking for my future boss, left the fan on the convection oven on after prepping tuille's for the dessert station. Threw in their order to finish cooking (a grilled, brine-cured pork chop, 18 oz.!!) and after about 10 min served a beautiful looking pork chop entree. They gladly cut into it, proceeded to eat around it, then threw it away. When I inquired, (i.e. looked at it in the trash), I saw an absolutely raw piece of meat. Needless to say, he hired me, and I always check the oven now!

 

[letscook]

Many many years ago, when first married, a friend of my husband wanted pumpkin bread, He was leaving for the navy and i decided to make it for him, buttt, he brought me a fresh pumpkin. Not ever making - I dug in , cooked the pumkin and had it all mashed up - measured out the amount i had and proceed with the recipe, not thinking i adjusted the recipe to amount of pumkin i had - instead of just making the recipe and adding what pumpkin it called for. But Then- I felt I had to use the whole thing. Well anything that could hold batter in was full , every pot-bowl- pitcher- etc. I did it and about 20 loaves of bread later and wee hours of the morning the next day, I had them all baked and finally cleaned up. He comes in and said Gee Thanks But I only wanted one loaf and the pumpkin was for your porch -

 

[Claire]

After 40+ years of cooking, more than I can count. Actually few, when you think of a minimum of a half-dozen meals a week over that time period!

One of my favorites wasn't even mine, really. Husband was going through his bread phase and made a from scratch pizza. When he went to slide it from the peel on to the stone, the pizza kept going, and landed in a mess at the back of the bottom of the oven at high heat. I turned off the oven, called Domino's (I think, it was in Hawaii about 20 yrs ago). But what was funny as all get-out was that when the oven cooled off enough, one guest opened it and started picking the pizza out and eating it because it was so much better than the delivered pizza. (Home made sauce, good quality parm and mozzeralla, etc).

Another time it was a friend who could take or leave meat. Not a vegetarian, and not a real fussy eater. But I grilled my famous semi-kal-bi ribs, and for some reason one, and I do mean one, rib had a pocket of a small vein that she hit on and squirted blood all over all of us. I do the same things several times per summer, and have never had that happen before or since. Luckily she and her husband had a good sense of humor, we just wiped up the blood and kept eating. I was surprised that it didn't even put anyone off the ribs.

I've burned more things than I can count, but never that dramatically. I learned early on in my years of cooking for groups is to put someone else in charge of anything that has to be deep fried, and any kind of bread in the oven, anything under the broiler. In other words, anything that is easily burned. I just say, hey, so-and-so, watch this and yell at me when it needs attention. This allows me to have a drink with my guests, or green newcomers, for a few minutes without worrying about burning the rolls or starting a stove-top fire. My guests have always been happy to help, sitting at the kitchen table and watching the broiler or oil while I circulate and mingle a bit, then they yell when I need to be right there. Actually, this is often a way to bring out a guest or family member who tends to shyness and is unused to going to parties or even hosting family gatherings. I'll pull out a chair, have them watch the potentially disasters, and just yell at me when the time comes for 100% attention. It has never failed.

 

[bknox]

Last summer I was making beer and had a 7 gallon carboy full of hot wort in the sink. I put cool water that evidently was to cold and the carboy began to crack.My then 2 yo was directly under it. I grabbed her and we made it to the door when it blew. There is nothing like watching all the wort, which is basically sugar water, fill and then overfill the sink and then fill the floor. It was like a wort tidal wave and I see it in slow motion in my head when I think of it. It took the rest of the day to get that mess up.

 

[Jiayan Wu]

Hey, i mix oil and water to cook a soup

 

[CasperImproved]

I was cleverly showing DH how to separate the egg white from the yolk--so clever that I slipped and dropped the egg on the counter. I watched the whole thing slip down the crack between the stove and the counter and make a huge mess down the side of the cabinet and underneath the stove. I sure showed him.

Hi Michelle - I'm just following up on your long ago post (don't ask), but how did things end up?

Bob

 

[kadesma]

When we built this house, DH had a lovely Microwave put in..I'd never used on but figued how hard can it be. I folowed an idea from the cookbook it had with it for these wonderful but expensive sanwiches..we planned to picknick on the front room rug, I made potato salad, iced tea,sodas for the kids and ice cream and chips the works..I set the timer and we turned on the new TV and waited..Well I think you know where this is going..We ended up with brick doorstops..The things were so hard you'd have broken a foot if you'd dropped one on yourself We had potato salad,chips and ice cream, after that I never have used that thing..We just remodeled the kitchen yep new mw it sure looks pretty and after a year, brand new
kadesma

 

[CasperImproved]

Kadesma - The memories we live in, are the things that define us. I'm glad you have some nice ones Maybe I should have redirdcted this over to the "quotes" thread

Bob

 

[kadesma]

Kadesma - The memories we live in, are the things that define us. I'm glad you have some nice ones Maybe I should have redirdcted this over to the "quotes" thread

Bob

Oh no, you don't want to know my "quote"
kades

 

[PattY1]

Late in the summer a few years ago, I was making Spaghetti Sauce with now cheap tomatoes. I had just purchased a food mill for this. I did not have it put together correctly and when I turned the crank the first time it came apart and sauce went flying ALL OVER my kitchen. The spot by the light fixture on the ceiling still shows a stain.

 

[CasperImproved]

Patty that is funny. Made me think about the "I Love Lucy" show.

Bob

 

[PrincessFiona60]

Harvard Beets

DH and I were just getting to know each other and I decided to make Harvard beets from memory, not the cookbook. Too much cornstarch so I added some more liquid...suffice it to say, we ended up with a pale pink gelatinous mass with bright red spots in it. I still refer to the recipe when cooking it these days, 25 years later.

 

[Birdmom]

I have several. I was making soup with canellini beans and spinach in it. I put half in the blender to get it smooth, but forgot to put the cap on the blender. The soup ended up on the stove, ceiling, floor, walls, and elsewhere. I cleaned up and finished the rest of the soup which I put in containers. On my way to the refrigerator, I tripped and dropped both containers. Again, soup was everywhere.

When I was newly married, my husband and I had houseguests. I made lasagna ahead of time and froze it. Took it out and put it in the oven for dinner for the guests. After I thought it had baked long enough (an hour, for heaven's sake!), I served it with salad. As we cut into the lasagna, I discovered it was still completely frozen in the center. What a way to welcome guests from out of town.

And just about a month ago, I dropped an entire large, new bottle of olive oil and broke it. I learned the hard way, that it takes a very long time to get that much olive oil up.

 

[Birdmom]

Another one I remember from way back when I was first out on my own. After work, I made some wonderful lamb chops for dinner. And I decided to have potatoes and gravy with them. After cooking the potatoes, and while the chops were cooking, I made the gravy. When I sat down to eat, I stuck a spoon in the gravy and it stood straight up. I could not even pry the gravy out of the bowl. I stopped making gravy for years after that.

 

[PrincessFiona60]

I dropped two large jars of pickle relish in the parking lot in front of the apartment...they were to be used for a mondo potato salad for a picnic at work. After getting them cleaned up, as best I could, I returned to Costco for two more jars.

 

[Birdmom]

I've dropped my fair share of pickles too. Many times coming in the garage unloading the groceries, the plastic sack with the pickles invaribly breaks and I lose all the pickles. I guess that's at least better than dropping them in the kitchen <g>

 

[PrincessFiona60]

I can't imagine cleaning up all that olive oil. With my luck I'd drop it on the carpet.

The other day I took the shaker top off the seasoning salt and shook the jar...at least I could rinse off the steaks.

 

[Arky]

Like many of you, I've had my fair share of kitchen disasters - bread that didn't rise, gravy that could be sliced into wedges and food stuck to the baking dish and turning to mush as you try to pry it out - but it seems the worst disasters are of my own making because I make the mistake of producing a dish I've never made before... for a special occasion with lots of people!! If ever there's a time to embarrass yourself with a kitchen disaster, it's to do it in front of your world - a hungry world of family and friends! Believe me, it's worth the cost and effort to cook the dish twice - once for yourself as a practice run, and only after you learn what to watch for are you ready to make it for others. And as a bonus, many times there's some way of making it your own by changing or substituting something to suit your taste.

 

[Birdmom]

I can't imagine cleaning up all that olive oil. With my luck I'd drop it on the carpet.

The oil landed just an inch shy of the carpet, so I was lucky there

The other day I took the shaker top off the seasoning salt and shook the jar...at least I could rinse off the steaks.

I can only imagine! I was putting a cannister of sugar up in the cabinet, and it tipped over. Unfortunately for me, the lid of the cannister does not fit tight. That was an awful lot of sugar to get out of the cabinet