I got grillmarks on my steak!

[carnivore]

everyone can start sleeping better now--i got grillmarks last night!
my trick was to raise the hot charcoal up about an inch away from the top grate, letting it preheat for about 5 minutes. then i lowered it to it's normal cooking height, threw a steak on there and voila!
thanks to all those who responded to my original post, (not to mention those who quickly showed me up--oldcoot! :P )

[kitchenelf]

doin' the happy dance!!!!!!!!! 8)

[Coco]

Carnivore, I am very excited for you. I hope you took pictures as proof? Just kidding!

[oldcoot]

Obviously the whole problem could have been solved with an understanding of simple physics/thermodynamics. Wemt for sports in high school, did you, Carnivore? Figures! You "Jocks"!

But I am truly happy for you, that you finally have acquired burned stripes on your primary foodstuff.

My Mother did that regularly, by accident - not necessarily stripes, hiowever. Godawful cook!

[carnivore]

hi oldcoot,
Congratulations! Even though you are very, very old, you've managed to maintain a sense of humor!! I figured that senility would have killed that off by now...
...don't know what else to say...
ummm... my steak is better than your pan-fried "pretender steak"?
(all in good fun, of course )

[oldcoot]

It seems probable that Man first devoured “steak” as the result of collateral damage of a forest fire, or some similar event. Ever looking to improve his lot, Man first put the meat on a stick to keep it out of the sand and ashes. As sticks have a tendency to burn through, that method was not entirely successful, so, when he discovered iron, he came up with that primitive method of burning meat, the grill.

The more intelligent among men noticed that the grill method tended to burn the meat in some areas, and also the flavorful juices dropped through the grill into the fire. So the skillet was invented., to more evenly distribute the heat, and thereby make every morsel equally delicious, and to retain those marvelous juices, further enhancing the flavor.

As an unexpected benefit, fewer cooks were overcome by the toxic smoke of burning fat – excepting those like my Mother who continued to burn it even in a pan, thereby filling the entire house with smoke and no doubt contributing to the emphysema from which I now suffer.

It is no surprise that primitive, carnivorous beings, lacking an understanding of the tiner things in our short lives, would erroneously believe burned meat is desirable – that being they flavor to which they are accustomed. It is so sad.

[carnivore]

well oldcoot,
as I'm sure you realize, we're never going to agree on this point. The way I see it, there can only be two reasons for your failure to acknowledge the obvious superiority of a grilled steak versus a pan-fried one.
1) A 20 lb bag of charcoal can be an exhausting physical challenge to one as "mature" as yourself, so out of necessity, you've been forced to acquire a taste for the blandness of pan-fried meat.
2) You lost your taste-buds in the war (BTW, did you fight for the North or the South?)

[Coco]

Thanks, Carnivore. You gave me a good laugh this morning!

[oldcoot]

Although it pains me deeply to admit it, I find I must concur with Coco!

Carnivore, your knowledge of history is lacking, too: everyone knows California was Union! (That's North)

[carnivore]

you guys & gals are a lot of fun.
we should get together sometime. Hmmm, since i live in the most central location, i submit that you should all fly down here.
I'll barbecue spareribs (are those OK to cook in the grill, oldcoot?)
and Coco can bartend. Norma can bring her boyfriend, and kitchenelf will be occupied by putting asparagus on everything.
see you this weekend