"Discover Cooking, Discuss Life."

Go Back   Discuss Cooking - Cooking Forums > Recipes & Ingredients > Chicken, Turkey & other Fowl
Click Here to Login
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 11-28-2019, 02:50 AM   #1
Master Chef
Chief Longwind Of The North's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: USA,Michigan
Posts: 9,720
Turkey Tale Revisited

I wrote and posted this fictitious tale on DC way back i 2004. It came to mind and I thought it would be fun to share it again.

Tale of Two Turkeys Posted: 18-Dec-2004 11:16 AM

It's all about those exercised muscles. Two wild turkeys struttin' there stuff: " Hey, Girly-boy turkey. let me fluff my tail feathers in front of you. The women are gonna go for me. Just watch me strut my stuff, and take lessons boy."

"Get outta here, you bag of goose-down." I got a three inch dew-claw on the back of each leg that says you better find a new neighborhood."

"Why that little dew claw of yours aint big enough to menace an earth worm."

"Yeah, well an earth worm has more strength than that puny neck of yours, But then again, it don't take much to hold up that empty head."

"C'mere boy. You're gonna find out right now how empty my head is."

"Yeah fluff boy, bring it on."

"Gawk, ow, you're gonna pay for that!..."
"Arrrgh, get yer foot outta my eye!"
"#*@$# bird brain. Take that!" POW

Off in the distance - "Hey Erma. Wanna come over to my tree? It's quiet there. We won't have to listen to those amatures over there."

"Why yes, Clem."

"Oh, and did I mention that I heard some human squakin' his turkey caller over by those two yardbirds?"

"Why no you didn't. Do you think we should warn them?"

"Oh no. The human's far to close. It's too dangerous. You just come with me to my tree. We can watch from there."

"Well, if you thinks it's too dangerous. And besides, a bath in scalding, I mean hot water, will quiet those two."

"Yup, it's gonna be tough turkey for those boys come thanksgiving day, if you get my drift."

"Oh Clem, you're so bad..."


"Claire. Are those turkeys ready to come outta the oven yet? The aroma is killin' me. I'm starved."

"Well you're just gonna have to wait. You shot two of the toughest Toms I've ever cooked. I just might have to put 'em in a stew."

"Then how 'bout a sandwich to hold me over."

"You got two arms and two legs. Come in here and make yourself a sandwich. And while your at it, you can peel some spuds."

Hubby sneaks up on his best friend/wife and plants a kiss on her cheek. "Honey, I love you so much. But you know, with your cooking, maybe we could sell that turkey meat to shoe stores, you know, to make tennis shoe soles."

She whirls and pokes him in the ribs with two fingers. He grins from ear to ear as he laughingly continues "Or maybe we can sell them to the road commision, you know to mix with tar for road construction."

He's at a dead run from the kitchen now as Claire picks up a sopping wet sponge to hurl at her goofball Husband.

Just another day in the life of Claire.

I hope tht left you grinning.

Seeeeeyal Chief Longwind of the North

“No amount of success outside the home can compensate for failure within the home…"

Check out my blog for the friendliest cooking instruction on the net. Go ahead. You know you want to.- https://gwnorthsfamilycookin.wordpress.com/
Chief Longwind Of The North is offline   Reply With Quote


« Gallentine | - »
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 10:41 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 4
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.