taxlady, that was very interesting. my responses to the trauma have been blunted by medication and i think some what by time. i no longer jump and hit the deck at a loud popping sound. i didn't leave my home for three years til my shrink found a med. that helped with the panic attacks. for that three years i had a movie in my head of the event. it endlessly played over and over. i had some guilt that i did not see that something was very wrong with the murderer. actually i am on three (what i call."psycho. drugs")
for the various symptoms. i can live somewhat normally for about the last five years. he was killed on jan 13. that was the first christmas our whole family had been together for many years. this time of year is very difficult. so as they say, it is what it is. nothing will change that. our family has slowly begun to heal.
"life isn't about how to survive the storm but how to dance in the rain"