I'm really trying to come up with something witty, not gross, but mildly humorous to say about onions, but can't seem to think of anything. I mean, onions rubbed under the armpit, or used as mosquito repellant... It just doesn't seem witty, or funny, just crude and obnoxious. Someone has to have something funny to say about using onions.
There were two onions walking on the sidewalk beside a busy boulevard. At a particular corner, they decided to cross the street. After waiting for the stoplight to change, and the walk light to illuminate, they began to cross. Suddenly a car screeched around the corned and hit one of the onions. The uninjured onion helped his friend to the safety of the sidewalk and dialed 911. The injured onion was taken to emergency surgery at a nearby hospital. The healthy friend could hear endless crying from the surgical staff as they did their delicate work.
After some time, one of the surgeons finally came out and to the waiting room. He said to the uninjured onion, I have some good, and some bad new.
The good onion said; "Ok, doc tell me the good new first."
"The good new is that your freind is going to live."
"That's great, Doc. So what's the bad news?"
"He's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life."
Ok, it wasn't that funny. But it wasn't gross either.
Seeeeeya; Chief Longwind of the North