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Old 09-12-2013, 08:14 AM   #11
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All I'm saying is that it may take some time to change your family's eating habits. I do read labels, and I cook most elements of most of our meals, but I think many people make unwarranted assumptions about the effects of some additives.

I think it's too simple to say, for example, "don't eat anything your grandmother wouldn't eat." I'm quite sure my grandmothers never had Thai food, and therefore no lemongrass, fish sauce, etc. I also don't buy "don't eat anything you can't pronounce." I can pronounce practically anything so this is meaningless. I also know that everything in the world has a common name (lemon juice) and a scientific name (citric acid). Scientific names don't scare me.

We don't know much about your background - how long you've been married, what your family's eating habits have been, and how long you've been trying to change them. Since your family is resisting, you might just want to slow down and make changes more gradually.
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Old 09-12-2013, 03:35 PM   #12
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Not all processed food is bad and not all made from scratch food is good.
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Old 09-13-2013, 03:10 PM   #13
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I hate to push my way of thinking or eating onto others. But I spend a lot of time trying to figure out what is the healthiest way to eat, especially for my family. My daughter is 4 now and my husband, well he is a decent cook himself but likes the old favourites. I have been trying to learn how to cook and make everything from scratch, using as many whole foods as possible. However, I struggle with getting my family onboard with eating things made this way. Last night for example, I made chilli the texas way using real beef and fresh tomato juice. My husband took one look at it and said: "this isn't chilli." He ate it reluctantly and dumped tabasco sauce all over it. The same is true with my daughter, she just seems to like her processed food too much. If we give her heinz ketchup for example, she basically eats that with the odd french fry (from real potatos of course) for dinner. I made homemade pate and dijon mustard from scratch last week, two foods my husband loves, and he won't even try them. Yet they are so delicious compared to the processed foods.

Does anyone else struggle with these issues? Do I just give up and eat these things myself? My grandparents were farmers and never had any processed foods so I don't understand why anyone would want to eat processed foods when someone is making everything homemade for them. I don't get it.
If someone I cooked for criticised the food like you husband did he'd be wearing it not eating it. This isn't a food issue , it's a matter of good manners. And as for your daughter - children (and therefore young adults) eat what and how they are trained to do. Put your foot down. If there's no ketchup in the house she can't eat it and no child starves when there is food on offer. Just remember that food is one of the few means the very young have to bully their parents

Someone else said to another poster with similar issues that the husband needed training. Personally I think a husband who is so rude and obnoxious needs a clip round the ear. In addition he is setting a very poor example to your daughter.

Have you thought about going on strike? Just cook yourself delicious little meals and let him go out for take away (and pay for it himself). It may bring him round to your way of thinking and make him appreciate you more and if it doesn't you won't have the hassle. If you offer him good food which he declines to eat it ceases to be your problem.
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Old 09-13-2013, 03:13 PM   #14
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If you ask your pediatrician, he will probably tell you, "keep offering her the healthy food. Eventually she will get hungry enough to try it and even eat all of it." I assume you do the grocery shopping. If you don't have the foods she will only eat in the house, you can't break down and give in to her. So don't buy them as a "possible backup just in case."

When my children were ready to start solids, I always put some of the veggies in a separate pot for the baby. Less salt and no other seasoning. They started out with well mashed and lightly seasoned table foods. A half carrot, small beet, and any other root veggie and squash. After Cream of Wheat, veggies were their first table foods. And in very small amounts. Since there were no jars of baby food in the house, I had no choice but to cook for the family and the baby.

Remove the foods that she will only eat, one at a time. She will only eat chicken nuggets? Make your own. Don't buy them all ready to pop into the zapper or oven. And if she sees you eating them, she will get the idea that they can't be bad. Also have her help you in the kitchen. Children will almost always eat what they helped make. You can do the egging, she the breadcrumbs. And how can Daddy turn down something she made just for him. Talk to her about how she is cooking for Daddy. For veggies, you can peel and cut, she can put them in the pot and add some of the water. Even toss in the small amount of salt after you have measured it out for her. If she insists on helping with the cutting, guide her little hand while holding the table knife and let her put all of her pressure on it. A potato is a great first veggie to do this with. Slice off a piece from the bottom so it sits flat. Once she discovers how difficult it is to slice, she will lose interest quickly in that chore until she is older. Let her snap the green beans in half.

The changes aren't going to happen overnight. Just be patient. Your daughter is the key to your success in your endeavor toward healthy eating for your family.
Exactly. Good for you, Addie.
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Old 09-13-2013, 03:28 PM   #15
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Not all processed food is bad and not all made from scratch food is good.
+1 I just checked all the store-bought - read processed - jams/preserves I have in the house, two from TJ Maxx and one from Wal-Mart, all made in France: fig, strawberry and blackberry. All were made with fruit, fruit pectin, lemon juice and sugar, except the blackberry jam, which has concentrated grape juice instead of sugar. The same ingredients I would use if I made them at home. Altogether, they cost $12, which is well worth it, imo.
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Old 09-13-2013, 05:00 PM   #16
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...Personally I think a husband who is so rude and obnoxious needs a clip round the ear. In addition he is setting a very poor example to your daughter.

Have you thought about going on strike? Just cook yourself delicious little meals and let him go out for take away (and pay for it himself). It may bring him round to your way of thinking and make him appreciate you more and if it doesn't you won't have the hassle. If you offer him good food which he declines to eat it ceases to be your problem.
Good idea!? Match his bad behavior with equally bad behavior on your part!
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Old 09-13-2013, 05:54 PM   #17
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Good idea!? Match his bad behavior with equally bad behavior on your part!
Have you read Charles Kingsley's "The Water Babies? There are two characters called Mrs Do-as-you-would-be-done-by and Mrs Be-done-by-as-you-did. Look it up if you don't understand what I'm getting at.
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Old 09-13-2013, 08:06 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by CharlieD View Post
Not all processed food is bad and not all made from scratch food is good.

That's the best post so far.



People eat what they want.

We all need to eat.

Too much of one thing can be a problem.

Don't eat and the outcome is defined.

As our ancestors said "Moderation"

And "Healthy" will never defined.

One mans poison is another mans sustenance.

Eat what you like. Just don't go overboard one way or the other.
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Old 09-15-2013, 12:58 PM   #19
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Have you read Charles Kingsley's "The Water Babies? There are two characters called Mrs Do-as-you-would-be-done-by and Mrs Be-done-by-as-you-did. Look it up if you don't understand what I'm getting at.
I understand your point. It's not that fine.

I don't consider bad behavior to be a good solution.
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Old 09-15-2013, 02:55 PM   #20
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As far as my husband is concerned, I don't consider his reluctance to eat things he doesn't like as bad behavior. He isn't rude about it, he just doesn't want it. I have been married to him for 33 years and by now, I know what he will and won't eat. If I want to try something new, I will ask him if he will try it before I make it. Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Sometimes I make it for myself and he eats something else. If he does eat it, I ask him afterwards if he liked it and would he eat it again. Also, his eating habits did not influence his children. As adults, they are like me...eat most things and will try new things. If he was yelling and screaming and using derogatory comments about the food I would consider that bad behavior. Like he tells me, if he doesn't tell me he doesn't like it I will keep making it.
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