Getting your family on board with healthy eating

[hamlet_cat]

I hate to push my way of thinking or eating onto others. But I spend a lot of time trying to figure out what is the healthiest way to eat, especially for my family. My daughter is 4 now and my husband, well he is a decent cook himself but likes the old favourites. I have been trying to learn how to cook and make everything from scratch, using as many whole foods as possible. However, I struggle with getting my family onboard with eating things made this way. Last night for example, I made chilli the texas way using real beef and fresh tomato juice. My husband took one look at it and said: "this isn't chilli." He ate it reluctantly and dumped tabasco sauce all over it. The same is true with my daughter, she just seems to like her processed food too much. If we give her heinz ketchup for example, she basically eats that with the odd french fry (from real potatos of course) for dinner. I made homemade pate and dijon mustard from scratch last week, two foods my husband loves, and he won't even try them. Yet they are so delicious compared to the processed foods.

Does anyone else struggle with these issues? Do I just give up and eat these things myself? My grandparents were farmers and never had any processed foods so I don't understand why anyone would want to eat processed foods when someone is making everything homemade for them. I don't get it.

 

[CarolPa]

I hate to push my way of thinking or eating onto others. But I spend a lot of time trying to figure out what is the healthiest way to eat, especially for my family. My daughter is 4 now and my husband, well he is a decent cook himself but likes the old favourites. I have been trying to learn how to cook and make everything from scratch, using as many whole foods as possible. However, I struggle with getting my family onboard with eating things made this way. Last night for example, I made chilli the texas way using real beef and fresh tomato juice. My husband took one look at it and said: "this isn't chilli." He ate it reluctantly and dumped tabasco sauce all over it. The same is true with my daughter, she just seems to like her processed food too much. If we give her heinz ketchup for example, she basically eats that with the odd french fry (from real potatos of course) for dinner. I made homemade pate and dijon mustard from scratch last week, two foods my husband loves, and he won't even try them. Yet they are so delicious compared to the processed foods.

Does anyone else struggle with these issues? Do I just give up and eat these things myself? My grandparents were farmers and never had any processed foods so I don't understand why anyone would want to eat processed foods when someone is making everything homemade for them. I don't get it.

Many times it's easier to feed 4 year olds processed foods because of their limited appetite, but I would gradually switch to whole foods, My grandson is 5 and recently started eating grilled chicken instead of chicken nuggets and fresh veggies. He occasionally gets nuggets or a hot dog in a pinch. Try to get her used to healthy foods before she starts school.

As far as your husband is concerned, you might never change him. Maybe instead of completely changing a recipe, start off with small changes, like using real beef, but leaving the other ingredients alone. Next time, change another ingredient. My husband usually can tell as soon as I change something. I have given up on changing his diet.

 

[GotGarlic]

I think I wouldn't worry so much about condiments like mustard and work on simpler things like grilled or pan-roasted meats, salads, mashed or baked potatoes, etc. And if people want to add sauces, etc., don't take it personally. It might take some time to change what you've been doing and the sauces help with that. With children, I think the best way to avoid processed foods is not to bring them into the house My four-year-old niece runs to the fridge for raspberries when she wants a snack.

I don't like chili so I don't make it; why does your husband think it wasn't chili? Is he used to canned chili? Does he know what ingredients are in it?

Keep in mind that your grandparents didn't have any choice. The whole reason processed foods became popular is because they are such time-savers. Farm people had to grow their own wheat, thresh it, cut wood, make a fire, and bake their own bread. And that's just one product. Processed foods aren't all evil.

 

[Addie]

If you ask your pediatrician, he will probably tell you, "keep offering her the healthy food. Eventually she will get hungry enough to try it and even eat all of it." I assume you do the grocery shopping. If you don't have the foods she will only eat in the house, you can't break down and give in to her. So don't buy them as a "possible backup just in case."

When my children were ready to start solids, I always put some of the veggies in a separate pot for the baby. Less salt and no other seasoning. They started out with well mashed and lightly seasoned table foods. A half carrot, small beet, and any other root veggie and squash. After Cream of Wheat, veggies were their first table foods. And in very small amounts. Since there were no jars of baby food in the house, I had no choice but to cook for the family and the baby.

Remove the foods that she will only eat, one at a time. She will only eat chicken nuggets? Make your own. Don't buy them all ready to pop into the zapper or oven. And if she sees you eating them, she will get the idea that they can't be bad. Also have her help you in the kitchen. Children will almost always eat what they helped make. You can do the egging, she the breadcrumbs. And how can Daddy turn down something she made just for him. Talk to her about how she is cooking for Daddy. For veggies, you can peel and cut, she can put them in the pot and add some of the water. Even toss in the small amount of salt after you have measured it out for her. If she insists on helping with the cutting, guide her little hand while holding the table knife and let her put all of her pressure on it. A potato is a great first veggie to do this with. Slice off a piece from the bottom so it sits flat. Once she discovers how difficult it is to slice, she will lose interest quickly in that chore until she is older. Let her snap the green beans in half.

The changes aren't going to happen overnight. Just be patient. Your daughter is the key to your success in your endeavor toward healthy eating for your family.

 

[CharlieD]

.... "keep offering her the healthy food. Eventually she will get hungry enough to try it and even eat all of it." ...

I was of the same opinion until #4. She is 11 now. She will not eat things she doesn’t like. Every Friday night we leave the house and spend next day till evening with friends at their place. Sometimes I cook, most of the time not. Sometimes we bring something for her, sometimes not. If there is nothing there that she will eat, she will not eat period. Sometimes she comes home Saturday night so hungry, she nearly faints, but she refuses to eat stuff she doesn’t like. One time we spent there 3 days and had nothing special made for her, by special I do not mean something Special, just something she would eat, plain boiled noodles or potato is perfectly fine, anyways she ate 3 times in three days, morning cereal. By the time we get home I had to nearly carry her in the house she was so weak.

P.S. Our doctor told us to feed her. And not bother fighting.

 

[Oldvine]

I brought forward my father's theory on that and it's worked now for more than 5 decades. I cook it, they eat it and get good lab reports when they go the the doctor. They don't like it, supper is over or they can eat peanut butter sandwiches. I've had more than a few jars of peanut butter go stale. To this day it's a rare event to see my kid drink a soda. I never demanded that he what I put on his plate, but he had to taste it. The same goes for the father.

 

[Steve Kroll]

I've always done 95% of the cooking in our house, and what I put on the table is what's for dinner. Period. Whether anyone chooses to eat it or not is up to them.

Our daughter was always raised on healthy food, and she continues to eat that way more or less now that she is at college. I know from time to time she goes out and has fast food with her friends, but it's more of a once-every-couple-weeks kind of thing.

 

[GotGarlic]

I brought forward my father's theory on that and it's worked now for more than 5 decades. I cook it, they eat it and get good lab reports when they go the the doctor. They don't like it, supper is over or they can eat peanut butter sandwiches. I've had more than a few jars of peanut butter go stale. To this day it's a rare event to see my kid drink a soda. I never demanded that he what I put on his plate, but he had to taste it. The same goes for the father.

My parents did the same when we were kids.

 

[no mayonnaise]

Processed food is addictive and the only way to break the cycle of addiction is to make it no longer viable to sustain that sort of lifestyle anymore.

 

[hamlet_cat]

I don't think processed food is evil but if you read the labels and research behind how they are made, the food goes through a lot of treatments before it makes it to your table. Also where I am from, they have to identify almost everything in it. There are so many weird additives that have strange names. They may seem harmless when you look up what they are, but I am not sure they are all that good for you. Even some of those cold cereals now have artificial sugars to lower the actual sugar content. ? I would think natural cane sugar is better than an artificial sweetener, unless you are diabetic. I think it is better to get your sugars though from fruit and veggies than a box of cold cereal. But that is my opinion I guess. My husband and I fight over it all the time. Maybe I should focus on being more of a role model and hope my daughter just picks up my eating habits. My husband gives her candy as a treat, I don't really like it, but I don't want to get a divorce over it too.

 

[GotGarlic]

All I'm saying is that it may take some time to change your family's eating habits. I do read labels, and I cook most elements of most of our meals, but I think many people make unwarranted assumptions about the effects of some additives.

I think it's too simple to say, for example, "don't eat anything your grandmother wouldn't eat." I'm quite sure my grandmothers never had Thai food, and therefore no lemongrass, fish sauce, etc. I also don't buy "don't eat anything you can't pronounce." I can pronounce practically anything so this is meaningless. I also know that everything in the world has a common name (lemon juice) and a scientific name (citric acid). Scientific names don't scare me.

We don't know much about your background - how long you've been married, what your family's eating habits have been, and how long you've been trying to change them. Since your family is resisting, you might just want to slow down and make changes more gradually.

 

[CharlieD]

Not all processed food is bad and not all made from scratch food is good.

 

[Mad Cook]

I hate to push my way of thinking or eating onto others. But I spend a lot of time trying to figure out what is the healthiest way to eat, especially for my family. My daughter is 4 now and my husband, well he is a decent cook himself but likes the old favourites. I have been trying to learn how to cook and make everything from scratch, using as many whole foods as possible. However, I struggle with getting my family onboard with eating things made this way. Last night for example, I made chilli the texas way using real beef and fresh tomato juice. My husband took one look at it and said: "this isn't chilli." He ate it reluctantly and dumped tabasco sauce all over it. The same is true with my daughter, she just seems to like her processed food too much. If we give her heinz ketchup for example, she basically eats that with the odd french fry (from real potatos of course) for dinner. I made homemade pate and dijon mustard from scratch last week, two foods my husband loves, and he won't even try them. Yet they are so delicious compared to the processed foods.

Does anyone else struggle with these issues? Do I just give up and eat these things myself? My grandparents were farmers and never had any processed foods so I don't understand why anyone would want to eat processed foods when someone is making everything homemade for them. I don't get it.

If someone I cooked for criticised the food like you husband did he'd be wearing it not eating it. This isn't a food issue , it's a matter of good manners. And as for your daughter - children (and therefore young adults) eat what and how they are trained to do. Put your foot down. If there's no ketchup in the house she can't eat it and no child starves when there is food on offer. Just remember that food is one of the few means the very young have to bully their parents

Someone else said to another poster with similar issues that the husband needed training. Personally I think a husband who is so rude and obnoxious needs a clip round the ear. In addition he is setting a very poor example to your daughter.

Have you thought about going on strike? Just cook yourself delicious little meals and let him go out for take away (and pay for it himself). It may bring him round to your way of thinking and make him appreciate you more and if it doesn't you won't have the hassle. If you offer him good food which he declines to eat it ceases to be your problem.

 

[Mad Cook]

If you ask your pediatrician, he will probably tell you, "keep offering her the healthy food. Eventually she will get hungry enough to try it and even eat all of it." I assume you do the grocery shopping. If you don't have the foods she will only eat in the house, you can't break down and give in to her. So don't buy them as a "possible backup just in case."

When my children were ready to start solids, I always put some of the veggies in a separate pot for the baby. Less salt and no other seasoning. They started out with well mashed and lightly seasoned table foods. A half carrot, small beet, and any other root veggie and squash. After Cream of Wheat, veggies were their first table foods. And in very small amounts. Since there were no jars of baby food in the house, I had no choice but to cook for the family and the baby.

Remove the foods that she will only eat, one at a time. She will only eat chicken nuggets? Make your own. Don't buy them all ready to pop into the zapper or oven. And if she sees you eating them, she will get the idea that they can't be bad. Also have her help you in the kitchen. Children will almost always eat what they helped make. You can do the egging, she the breadcrumbs. And how can Daddy turn down something she made just for him. Talk to her about how she is cooking for Daddy. For veggies, you can peel and cut, she can put them in the pot and add some of the water. Even toss in the small amount of salt after you have measured it out for her. If she insists on helping with the cutting, guide her little hand while holding the table knife and let her put all of her pressure on it. A potato is a great first veggie to do this with. Slice off a piece from the bottom so it sits flat. Once she discovers how difficult it is to slice, she will lose interest quickly in that chore until she is older. Let her snap the green beans in half.

The changes aren't going to happen overnight. Just be patient. Your daughter is the key to your success in your endeavor toward healthy eating for your family.

Exactly. Good for you, Addie.

 

[GotGarlic]

Not all processed food is bad and not all made from scratch food is good.

+1 I just checked all the store-bought - read processed - jams/preserves I have in the house, two from TJ Maxx and one from Wal-Mart, all made in France: fig, strawberry and blackberry. All were made with fruit, fruit pectin, lemon juice and sugar, except the blackberry jam, which has concentrated grape juice instead of sugar. The same ingredients I would use if I made them at home. Altogether, they cost $12, which is well worth it, imo.

 

[Andy M.]

...Personally I think a husband who is so rude and obnoxious needs a clip round the ear. In addition he is setting a very poor example to your daughter.

Have you thought about going on strike? Just cook yourself delicious little meals and let him go out for take away (and pay for it himself). It may bring him round to your way of thinking and make him appreciate you more and if it doesn't you won't have the hassle. If you offer him good food which he declines to eat it ceases to be your problem.

Good idea!? Match his bad behavior with equally bad behavior on your part!

 

[Mad Cook]

Good idea!? Match his bad behavior with equally bad behavior on your part!

Have you read Charles Kingsley's "The Water Babies? There are two characters called Mrs Do-as-you-would-be-done-by and Mrs Be-done-by-as-you-did. Look it up if you don't understand what I'm getting at.

 

[Zagut]

Not all processed food is bad and not all made from scratch food is good.

That's the best post so far.



People eat what they want.

We all need to eat.

Too much of one thing can be a problem.

Don't eat and the outcome is defined.

As our ancestors said "Moderation"

And "Healthy" will never defined.

One mans poison is another mans sustenance.

Eat what you like. Just don't go overboard one way or the other.

 

[Andy M.]

Have you read Charles Kingsley's "The Water Babies? There are two characters called Mrs Do-as-you-would-be-done-by and Mrs Be-done-by-as-you-did. Look it up if you don't understand what I'm getting at.

I understand your point. It's not that fine.

I don't consider bad behavior to be a good solution.

 

[CarolPa]

As far as my husband is concerned, I don't consider his reluctance to eat things he doesn't like as bad behavior. He isn't rude about it, he just doesn't want it. I have been married to him for 33 years and by now, I know what he will and won't eat. If I want to try something new, I will ask him if he will try it before I make it. Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Sometimes I make it for myself and he eats something else. If he does eat it, I ask him afterwards if he liked it and would he eat it again. Also, his eating habits did not influence his children. As adults, they are like me...eat most things and will try new things. If he was yelling and screaming and using derogatory comments about the food I would consider that bad behavior. Like he tells me, if he doesn't tell me he doesn't like it I will keep making it.