First and foremost, welcome to the forums. I don't think I could be of much help in this thread, but the following comment made me think of a joke I heard just the other day.
Originally Posted by 4meandthem
Do you really drink Coors Light in Ireland?
After a Beer Festival in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer.
Corona's president sits down and says, "Seņor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona." The bartender takes a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him.
Then Budweiser's president says, "I'd like the best beer in the world, give me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser." The bartender gives him one.
Coors' president says, "I'd like the best beer in the world, the only one made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors." He gets it.
The guy from Guinness sits down and says, "Give me a Coke." The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask, "Why aren't you drinking a Guinness?" and the Guinness president replies, "Well, if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither will I."