I am such a wine NON-snob!

[The Rugged Dude]

Preface by saying I don't drink wine... I cook with it, but I don't like the stuff. I'm weird, yes, I know.

I was at a restaurant a few months back with a group of somewhat snobbish people (friends of friends, never again!). One dude orders a $92 bottle of wine for he and his wife. It comes to the table and (he waited until everyone was watching, of course) he does the fancy "swirl-in-glass, look at it up to the light, smell and taste test." Then, he confidently says for all to hear, "Yes, I like this. Nutty and aromatic, robust yet not too aggressive."

My eyes were rolling into the back of my big bald head! I said (when everyone was listening, of course) to the waiter, "Um... how much is that bottle of wine?" He stated proudly, "$92." I sarcastically replied, "I'm sure it'll be fine."

In my mind I was thinking, "Ya, a little better than the $12 crap he buys when no-one is watching."

My question - I am just being a jerk here or do I just hate pretentious snobs?

RD

 

[CraigC]

If that wine was at the high end of the offerings, I can see it. You have to remember that same bottle is probably 1/3 to 1/2 that price at the wine store. Would be equal to having a beer, draft or not, the price will be much higher than what you could buy it for. It is also standard for the waiter to cork the bottle, pour a small amount into the wine glass and get the approval of the guest. I've always wondered what they would do if the guest said no to it because I have never seen that happen. The only reason I would call the guy a snob is if he only ordered it for himself, his wife and not for the table. Do you know if they offered a corking charge and you could bring your own bottle? We've done that before.

 

[Rocklobster]

I think some people feel that making a big deal out of wine is "living it up" so to say. They are partaking in an activity that includes more than just drinking it, and if they are going to spend that much on a bottle of grog they want to be getting their money's worth...lol. He's certainly not alone in his approach to wine...I have been known to comment on the taste and smell of a decent bottle, but made sure to do so in the company of people who give a hoot and not at a table full of Alexander Kieth drinkers(which I find myself more often than not).
On the other hand, your buddy could just be a bonafied bone head, that's for you to decide. ..

 

[Souschef]

Wine tasting

That reminds me of the time we had to change planes in Atlanta. We had a few hours to kill, and I found a wine shop that had wine tastings of 3 different wines.
So we sat there and sampled them, and I was commenting on the taste of each one. Kayelle was very impressed until she saw I was reading it off the card next to each glass!

 

[Andy M.]

As Craig said, the process is pretty standard. The guy's announcing to everyone at the table that, "Yes, I like this. Nutty and aromatic, robust yet not too aggressive." is a bit on the A-Hole side of normal.

I'm always a little embarrassed by the process because I'm aware you can come off as a pretentious snob so I keep it as low key as possible. I also don't spend $92. on a bottle.

 

[CraigC]

As Craig said, the process is pretty standard. The guy's announcing to everyone at the table that, "Yes, I like this. Nutty and aromatic, robust yet not too aggressive." is a bit on the A-Hole side of normal.

I'm always a little embarrassed by the process because I'm aware you can come off as a pretentious snob so I keep it as low key as possible. I also don't spend $92. on a bottle.

I'm just a head nod person or "that is fine". The thing with reds is that the flavor and bouquet will change after "breathing" for a while, IMO. So if it is a red and you have never had it before, your initial proclamation may be a tad off base.

 

[creative]

Whilst I have a lot of sympathy with the OP, no one has mentioned that one of the reasons for the tasting is to see whether the wine is 'corked' i.e. reacted with a tainted cork. Apart from tasting unpleasant, no one would want to pay for such a wine.

 

[Roll_Bones]

Preface by saying I don't drink wine... I cook with it, but I don't like the stuff. I'm weird, yes, I know.

I was at a restaurant a few months back with a group of somewhat snobbish people (friends of friends, never again!). One dude orders a $92 bottle of wine for he and his wife. It comes to the table and (he waited until everyone was watching, of course) he does the fancy "swirl-in-glass, look at it up to the light, smell and taste test." Then, he confidently says for all to hear, "Yes, I like this. Nutty and aromatic, robust yet not too aggressive."

My eyes were rolling into the back of my big bald head! I said (when everyone was listening, of course) to the waiter, "Um... how much is that bottle of wine?" He stated proudly, "$92." I sarcastically replied, "I'm sure it'll be fine."

In my mind I was thinking, "Ya, a little better than the $12 crap he buys when no-one is watching."

My question - I am just being a jerk here or do I just hate pretentious snobs?

RD

I'm totally on board with you. I feel the same toward beer snobs. I like to drink my beer, not make a meal out of it.
I will drink Bud Light over any craft beer and prefer it. I don't like the bitter taste.
Guinness IMO is a food not a beverage.

 

[creative]

Perhaps it is a question of developing a finer palate? I remember a time when sliced white bread was fine by me......now it is quite repulsive in its overly soft texture and totally bland in taste.

 

[roadfix]

I love wine but know nothing about them. Even with a cheap $20 bottle at a restaurant, if prompted by the waiter, I'll do the swirly and the taste test, and won't reject it even if it's bad.....I wouldn't even know what to say....

 

[RPCookin]

When it comes to wine, I like what I like, and I never know until I taste it whether I'll like it or not. It can change from day to day too, like it one day and no interest at all the next.

For beer, I don't like tasteless light or mainstream beers, but I also don't like them when they are overly bitter (think IPA's). A middle of the road craft amber or blonde is my preference. Not into stout, but I've had some porters that were okay. Kinda like wine, I have to taste it to know for sure.

 

[larry_stewart]

I also don't drink wine , but only cook with it. When I taste wine, all I can think of is how I would use it to cook. I just can't mentally consider it as a beverage ( just my opinion). That being said, clearly I'm in the minority. But not only wine and beer, but even the food snobs too, who like something just because they got it at a fancy restaurant and it costs a lot. You hear them repeating something they probably read in an article or heard on some food program. I would love to give them a blind taste test and see if they could really identify what they are eating vs its cheaper counterpart, or give it the same description.

larry

 

[roadfix]

We've hosted a couple of fun wine snob parties in the past. We asked guests to bring one bottle of each, a red and a white, any cost. We completely wrapped each bottle in plain paper bags and numbered them, got rid of the corks, and did a blind taste test during the evening. We ended up with like 20 bottles lined on the table, took notes and jotted down the top 3 reds and whites as the evening went on. The bottles ranged in prices from Two Buck Chucks to $50+. One guy thought the Two Buck Chuck was the best tasting.....

 

[lyndalou]

There are snobs for everything tht you can buy..think clothing labels, shoe designers, high end anything. I find that they are going by the price of the stuff and not really the quality.

 

[creative]

There are snobs for everything tht you can buy..think clothing labels, shoe designers, high end anything. I find that they are going by the price of the stuff and not really the quality.

...or the status of a certain label.

 

[CharlieD]

Having had a terrible alcohol poisoning from consuming insane amount of wine when I was 16, I do not like drinking wine and most of all I just do not find it that it taste good. If I do drink I drink this very, very light sweet bubbly wine from Italy. With one exception. When I was in Israel I had a dinner with then Israel's premier restaurant and wine critic. He ordered wine. Oh my gosh, that was a good wine. That was 10 years ago. Never had anything that good before or after.

 

[Mad Cook]

Preface by saying I don't drink wine... I cook with it, but I don't like the stuff. I'm weird, yes, I know.

I was at a restaurant a few months back with a group of somewhat snobbish people (friends of friends, never again!). One dude orders a $92 bottle of wine for he and his wife. It comes to the table and (he waited until everyone was watching, of course) he does the fancy "swirl-in-glass, look at it up to the light, smell and taste test." Then, he confidently says for all to hear, "Yes, I like this. Nutty and aromatic, robust yet not too aggressive."

My eyes were rolling into the back of my big bald head! I said (when everyone was listening, of course) to the waiter, "Um... how much is that bottle of wine?" He stated proudly, "$92." I sarcastically replied, "I'm sure it'll be fine."

In my mind I was thinking, "Ya, a little better than the $12 crap he buys when no-one is watching."

My question - I am just being a jerk here or do I just hate pretentious snobs?

RD

It sounds as though the other chap was showing off either to his lady guest (I would doubt she was his wife) or the waiter or the other customers. Sadly for him most "lady guests" (and waiters) recognise a pretentious twit when they see one (and often decline a further outing). In reality he probably wouldn't distinguish a Grand Cru Burgundy from a 5 quid bottle of plonk from Sainsbury's if they got up and spat in his eye.

 

[Steve Kroll]

My question - I am just being a jerk here or do I just hate pretentious snobs?

Full disclosure: I love wine. It's my drink of choice. I make my own, and I probably have somewhere in the neighborhood of 1200 bottles (mostly stuff I've made, but a few collector bottles, too). I also judge wine at competitions.

That being said, I'm in total agreement with you. What this idiot did goes beyond being a wine snob. He falls more into the category of wine buffoon. Unless you are judging a competition, where you are fully expected to swirl, sniff, and make pronouncements on the quality of a wine, this kind of behavior only makes you look like a complete doofus. I guarantee the waiter immediately went back to the kitchen and had a good laugh at this clown's expense.

Most of the people I know who are real wine lovers don't feel the need to put on this sort of act when dining out. A simple "This tastes great" or very occasional "I think there's something a little 'off' with this bottle" to the waiter is all the commentary that's needed.

 

[Mad Cook]

I love wine but know nothing about them. Even with a cheap $20 bottle at a restaurant, if prompted by the waiter, I'll do the swirly and the taste test, and won't reject it even if it's bad.....I wouldn't even know what to say....

Why not? The wine waiter needs to know so he can alert the manager that there might be a problem with that consignment of wine. You wouldn't accept an omelette made with a bad egg or a steak which was clearly fit only for the garbage can, would you?

Any wine waiter worth his/her salt will appreciate being told that the wine is off if it's done quietly and without any showing off.

If the problem is just that you don't like the wine that is a different issue and not a reason to decline it after the taste - unless you are prepared to pay for the rejected bottle and the replacement.

Useful hint (from a friend who was a chef in one of London's most up-market hotels) - If your budget is tight never choose the second cheapest on the wine list. The wine buyer and the waiter know that many people on a tight budget will choose that one as they are embarrassed to choose the cheapest on the list. The second cheapest slot is where an unscupulous wine manager will put the rubbish they want to get rid of!

 

[Mad Cook]

That being said, I'm in total agreement with you. What this idiot did goes beyond being a wine snob. He falls more into the category of wine buffoon. Unless you are judging a competition, where you are fully expected to swirl, sniff, and make pronouncements on the quality of a wine, this kind of behavior only makes you look like a complete doofus. I guarantee the waiter immediately went back to the kitchen and had a good laugh at this clown's expense.

Most of the people I know who are real wine lovers don't feel the need to put on this sort of act when dining out. A simple "This tastes great" or very occasional "I think there's something a little 'off' with this bottle" to the waiter is all the commentary that's needed.

Hear, hear!