Kitchen disasters

[Cooking Goddess]

...Now, any time I cook or bake, the first thing I do is get out all the ingredients and line them up according to when they are used. Then as I use each one, I put it away. That way, I never forget an ingredient or put it in twice.

Yup, that's what I do too! Burned once, twice shy...

 

[TaraWildes]

My main job for the family Thanksgiving dinner is to prepare the cornbread dressing, what some may call stuffing. It's just too bad no one seems to make it like I do, so I'm stuck with it, but I love to do it. Chopping onions, celery and hard boiled eggs the night before in preparation, saving chicken broth from previous roastings, baking a couple of cast iron pans full of cornbread, toasting some stale bread into croutons, cracking and mixing in more eggs...it's a little extra work, but it all comes together so well with a little sage thrown in.

We have a lab-border collie rescue dog, Maya, who adores cornbread. No, she obsesses over cornbread. When it's baking, she's positioned by the oven, just soaking in the scent. We speculate that's all she got to eat as a puppy before we found her, and it makes her all nostalgic for the good old days under the house in Georgia where she was born.

Two years ago, I was all up in the dressing-making. All ingredients combined, poured into two large baking pans ready to go into the oven, setting on top of the stove. I began to worry the dressing was too dry. No more homemade broth, I'd used it all. No canned broth in the pantry. Decided to make a run to the grocery store and grab a can of broth.

When I came back, my husband met me in the kitchen and asked why I made two pans only one-third filled with dressing. I stared at the pans -all the "raw" dressing was gone except for thin line at the back of each pan. Maya, who's an Olympic-worthy counter-surfer, had taken advantage of my absence and devoured almost two whole pans of cornbread, eggs, and uncooked onions and celery. She was on the floor sleeping it off.

Now here's the bad part. I combined the two pans, quickly added more celery, onions, bread and eggs, along with the storebrought broth. Only one pan of dressing, but it was all eaten and everyone raved about it. Maybe it was the dog germs, cooked down, that made it so wonderful. Sorry if this grosses anyone out, but heat kills all ick, in my scientific estimation.

Another day, I may tell you about the paprika with the weevil infestation that made the most awesome devilled eggs.

 

[Chief Longwind Of The North]

My main job for the family Thanksgiving dinner is to prepare the cornbread dressing, what some may call stuffing. It's just too bad no one seems to make it like I do, so I'm stuck with it, but I love to do it. Chopping onions, celery and hard boiled eggs the night before in preparation, saving chicken broth from previous roastings, baking a couple of cast iron pans full of cornbread, toasting some stale bread into croutons, cracking and mixing in more eggs...it's a little extra work, but it all comes together so well with a little sage thrown in.

We have a lab-border collie rescue dog, Maya, who adores cornbread. No, she obsesses over cornbread. When it's baking, she's positioned by the oven, just soaking in the scent. We speculate that's all she got to eat as a puppy before we found her, and it makes her all nostalgic for the good old days under the house in Georgia where she was born.

Two years ago, I was all up in the dressing-making. All ingredients combined, poured into two large baking pans ready to go into the oven, setting on top of the stove. I began to worry the dressing was too dry. No more homemade broth, I'd used it all. No canned broth in the pantry. Decided to make a run to the grocery store and grab a can of broth.

When I came back, my husband met me in the kitchen and asked why I made two pans only one-third filled with dressing. I stared at the pans -all the "raw" dressing was gone except for thin line at the back of each pan. Maya, who's an Olympic-worthy counter-surfer, had taken advantage of my absence and devoured almost two whole pans of cornbread, eggs, and uncooked onions and celery. She was on the floor sleeping it off.

Now here's the bad part. I combined the two pans, quickly added more celery, onions, bread and eggs, along with the storebrought broth. Only one pan of dressing, but it was all eaten and everyone raved about it. Maybe it was the dog germs, cooked down, that made it so wonderful. Sorry if this grosses anyone out, but heat kills all ick, in my scientific estimation.

Another day, I may tell you about the paprika with the weevil infestation that made the most awesome devilled eggs.

That's just too much information, even for me, and I've eaten earthworms roasted in a burning paper milk carton. I'm thinking I'll stick to my dressing. I'm like Lucy from Peanuts cartoons - Eek! Dog germs!. I've got dog germs on me. Call the doctor! Call the ambulance! I need and alcohol bath, Stat!

Yeh, I don't do well with being licked by animals (even less comfortable with people licking me. I had a child that used to come up and lick the side of your face, knowing it would gross you out. I won't say which one.).

Seeeeeeya; Chief Longwind of the North

 

[Mad Cook]

FWIW, the boyfriend and I parted ways about six months or so later. He turned out to be not as easy-going as his Mom.

You probably had a lucky escape. Men are usually what their mothers make them and she may have turned out to be the MiL from hell when she had you hog-tied (Us spinsters see a lot of the world and become very cynical)

 

[Mad Cook]

That's just too much information, even for me, and I've eaten earthworms roasted in a burning paper milk carton. I'm thinking I'll stick to my dressing. I'm like Lucy from Peanuts cartoons - Eek! Dog germs!. I've got dog germs on me. Call the doctor! Call the ambulance! I need and alcohol bath, Stat!

Yeh, I don't do well with being licked by animals (even less comfortable with people licking me. I had a child that used to come up and lick the side of your face, knowing it would gross you out. I won't say which one.).

Seeeeeeya; Chief Longwind of the North

"I've eaten earthworms roasted in a burning paper milk carton."

Did you know what you were eating? Was it intentional? Tell all - we need to know (at least, I do).

As for licking by animals, I used to have a dog who licked feet. Gross but very soothing after a hard day's shopping.

 

[dragnlaw]

My mother spilt the fat from the goose. The fat was bulging over the rim when she opened the oven door. She almost reached the counter when the bottom of the pan didn't clear - goose fat all down the cupboard and onto the floor, across the counter and under all the paraphernalia on it. It even dripped back into the oven and smoked.

Mom also had a dog which would lick her feet for hours, I was so jealous! but now I have one, not as good as hers but that's OK. That warm massage is wonderful! even for a short time.

Up at the cottage one year I had to make some biscuits or something, don't remember exactly what, but it took me forever. When everything was finally ready my husband whispered "what took so long?" I whispered back "It takes a long time to pick out bugs and larva from flour...." I noticed he didn't eat much of his.

When a friend came over from England to visit with my SIL I invited them to come out for ribs. I bragged and bragged about how fantastic my ribs are with a dry rub and slow cooked on the BBQ, so juicy, tender and tasty. They arrived and we started going thru pictures of his other trips here.... and I, completely engrossed with the pics, did NOT watch the clock, an extra hour and 1/2!!! later they were overcooked to crunchy tooth cracking dried meat on a bone. With typical dry English humour Stewart commented on how he was sure they probably would have been delicious had he been able to taste anything. My SIL still laughs with him on the phone about it. Funny, he hasn't come back for another visit yet .

We all have such similar stories. Love it! Keep'em comin' in!

 

[cave76]

Thanksgivings were large affairs, with the hostess with the mostess space cooking the turkey and the rest of us bringing all the rest.

First time I ever cooked a whole turkey myself was when a MIL visited that I'd never met. My husband had bragged about what a good cook I was (and, modestly, I was pretty good. )

So, turkey baked, looked good and I went to scoop out the dressing/stuffing from the neck cavity and found this little bag with all the innards in it at the bottom of the dressing!
I'd wondered why I hadn't found any innards for making the dressing!

 

[CarolPa]

It seems that everyone has roasted a turkey with the bag of innards still in it, except for me. By the time I got around to being the one to cook a turkey myself, I had heard so many stories about it that I knew to look for it.

Once I am gone, my daughter and DIL will be eating holiday dinners in restaurants or ordering the prepared dinners you can buy at the supermarket. They are both in their mid to late 40's and neither one of them has any inkling of how to cook a turkey or ham, and have shown no interest in learning. I recently got a new SIL who is 50 and has lots of cooking experience, so I imagine she will become the designated cook when I'm gone.

These stories are hillarious! Keep it going and we can write a book. DC Disasters.

 

[Zagut]

Years and years ago my father bought a few hundred dollars of cold cuts. (We're talking 1960's dollars.) for a party. My mother plated them up and they were all set up on the back porch for service. Well someone let our Dachshund onto the porch unattended. Needless to say she was a very happy pup and slept it off with a rather extended belly. My parents had to serve baloney in place of the other cold cuts.


Another incident was when I was young and dumb. (I'm old and dumb now) I was using a really cheap aluminum pot to boil some water. The phone rang. It was my girlfriend so we got to yapping. Well by the time I made it back to the kitchen there was no bottom left on the pot. The sides were there but absolutely no bottom. Surprised I didn't burn the place down.

 

[cave76]

Years and years ago my father bought a few hundred dollars of cold cuts. (We're talking 1960's dollars.) for a party. My mother plated them up and they were all set up on the back porch for service. Well someone let our Dachshund onto the porch unattended. Needless to say she was a very happy pup and slept it off with a rather extended belly. My parents had to serve baloney in place of the other cold cuts.

Sort of the same thing happened when we put a Chocolate Decadence torte out on the screened in porch to serve later. The two Doberman's found that the door to the porch was open and when it was time to serve dessert -----almost 1/2 of it was gone. Guess where? Very happy dogs were seen leaving the scene with chocolate smears on their muzzles.

(That also puts paid to the 'chocolate will kill a dog' myth. But please, don't anyone else feed chocolate to THEIR dog! )

 

[Chief Longwind Of The North]

This one's been told before, but I'm sure it will be new to some.

I was at MIL's and had already established myself as a pretty good cook. So no this particular occasion, they all wanted spaghetti, with bolognaise sauce (though everyone simply called it spaghetti sauce). I cut the onion, browned the meat, grated the cheese, saute'd the mushrooms, and began to assemble the sauce. All that was left to do was season and simmer.

I reached for some garlic powder (no fresh garlic was at the house), and when I sprinkled it into the sauce, to my horror, a bunch of cinnamon sat atop my lovely sauce. I'd had wonderful tamales that had meat, raisins, and cinnamon in them, and knew that the spice was used in some curry mixtures. I tried to save it by adding raisins, and other things that I hoped would turn the sauce into something edible. You can guess the results. Yup, that sauce went into the trash. Everyone teased me about that for years, even though it was MIL that re-purposed the container without removing the garlic label. I learned to check the herb and spice bottles anytime I cooked at her home after that.

Seeeeeeya; Chief Longwind of the North

 

[dragnlaw]

Gads, you're all bringing back so many memories!!!

Made a huge Lasagna for 6. Of course too hot to eat right out of the oven. Placed it on the table, went to the family room to watch the last of whatever they were watching.
Ten minutes later when we arrived back to the kitchen "Duchess", our German Shepherd was standing in the middle of the table just finishing up the lasagna. She must have burnt her mouth but she ate the whole thing. Needless to say we had peanut butter, canned soup and salad for supper. I was pretty upset, as you know, lasagna is not a cheap meal to put together and with 4 kids it was not something we did often.

One night we had 8 people over for a fondue evening. Beef fondue, then a chocolate. Whew ! what an evening that was! After the clean up there was just one pot that I had put all the oil in, had 2 pots going with that many people, so this pot was really full. I was leaving it til morning to take care of. The guests were gone, checked on the kids, went around turning off lights and.... in the kitchen again, on the table German Shepherd (different one) was just finishing off the entire pot of oil.
We were afraid to go to bed - didn't know what would happen! Well, we decided there was really nothing else to do so off we went to bed. Two hours later my husband and I shot straight up and out of the bed as the dog let out this horrendous blatting blast. AND it was nothing, just wind... was truly expecting to see the walls and ceiling covered.

Another year the kids & I spent days and days making decorations for the tree. I had a recipe for making stained glass window cookies using Life Savers for the stained glass. Took me a long time to finally find and get all the colours I needed, seemed Life Savers didn't come in as many flavours/colours anymore. But they were beautiful and well worth the effort. then we popped corn and made caramel balls and strung garlands as well. Don't remember what else we made but the whole tree was completely covered and gorgeous. And we were so proud we had made everything (ok, not the lights).

Got up the next morning .... dogs had pushed over the tree and eaten everything.... sigh.....

 

[Dawgluver]

Enjoying these stories!

The fondue one reminds me of the time we were invited to a friend's house for dinner. The house was brand new and gorgeous, with expensive hardwood floors. We had fondue. I was helping to clean up, and went to bring the fondue pot to the kitchen. It had a loose handle, and it rotated and flipped the whole pot of oil onto that nice hardwood floor. Was I embarrassed! Took awhile to clean that up!

 

[Andy M.]

Gads, you're all bringing back so many memories!!!

Made a huge Lasagna for 6. Of course too hot to eat right out of the oven. Placed it on the table, went to the family room to watch the last of whatever they were watching.
Ten minutes later when we arrived back to the kitchen "Duchess", our German Shepherd was standing in the middle of the table just finishing up the lasagna. She must have burnt her mouth but she ate the whole thing. Needless to say we had peanut butter, canned soup and salad for supper. I was pretty upset, as you know, lasagna is not a cheap meal to put together and with 4 kids it was not something we did often.

One night we had 8 people over for a fondue evening. Beef fondue, then a chocolate. Whew ! what an evening that was! After the clean up there was just one pot that I had put all the oil in, had 2 pots going with that many people, so this pot was really full. I was leaving it til morning to take care of. The guests were gone, checked on the kids, went around turning off lights and.... in the kitchen again, on the table German Shepherd (different one) was just finishing off the entire pot of oil.
We were afraid to go to bed - didn't know what would happen! Well, we decided there was really nothing else to do so off we went to bed. Two hours later my husband and I shot straight up and out of the bed as the dog let out this horrendous blatting blast. AND it was nothing, just wind... was truly expecting to see the walls and ceiling covered.

Another year the kids & I spent days and days making decorations for the tree. I had a recipe for making stained glass window cookies using Life Savers for the stained glass. Took me a long time to finally find and get all the colours I needed, seemed Life Savers didn't come in as many flavours/colours anymore. But they were beautiful and well worth the effort. then we popped corn and made caramel balls and strung garlands as well. Don't remember what else we made but the whole tree was completely covered and gorgeous. And we were so proud we had made everything (ok, not the lights).

Got up the next morning .... dogs had pushed over the tree and eaten everything.... sigh.....

These aren't kitchen disasters, they're dog disasters!

 

[Chief Longwind Of The North]

Gads, you're all bringing back so many memories!!!

Made a huge Lasagna for 6. Of course too hot to eat right out of the oven. Placed it on the table, went to the family room to watch the last of whatever they were watching.
Ten minutes later when we arrived back to the kitchen "Duchess", our German Shepherd was standing in the middle of the table just finishing up the lasagna. She must have burnt her mouth but she ate the whole thing. Needless to say we had peanut butter, canned soup and salad for supper. I was pretty upset, as you know, lasagna is not a cheap meal to put together and with 4 kids it was not something we did often.

One night we had 8 people over for a fondue evening. Beef fondue, then a chocolate. Whew ! what an evening that was! After the clean up there was just one pot that I had put all the oil in, had 2 pots going with that many people, so this pot was really full. I was leaving it til morning to take care of. The guests were gone, checked on the kids, went around turning off lights and.... in the kitchen again, on the table German Shepherd (different one) was just finishing off the entire pot of oil.
We were afraid to go to bed - didn't know what would happen! Well, we decided there was really nothing else to do so off we went to bed. Two hours later my husband and I shot straight up and out of the bed as the dog let out this horrendous blatting blast. AND it was nothing, just wind... was truly expecting to see the walls and ceiling covered.

Another year the kids & I spent days and days making decorations for the tree. I had a recipe for making stained glass window cookies using Life Savers for the stained glass. Took me a long time to finally find and get all the colours I needed, seemed Life Savers didn't come in as many flavours/colours anymore. But they were beautiful and well worth the effort. then we popped corn and made caramel balls and strung garlands as well. Don't remember what else we made but the whole tree was completely covered and gorgeous. And we were so proud we had made everything (ok, not the lights).

Got up the next morning .... dogs had pushed over the tree and eaten everything.... sigh.....

Have you ever thought about replacing those German Shepherds with pet rocks? They never get sick, don't need to be fed, never jump in the table, and can be used as Christmas decorations, instead of eating them. If they're large enough, they can even guard your home. When someone unwanted bursts in, you hold your pet rock in hand, and wave it menacingly at the.

Seeeeeeeya; Chief Longwind of the North

 

[Cooking Goddess]

...Guess where? Very happy dogs were seen leaving the scene with chocolate smears on their muzzles.

(That also puts paid to the 'chocolate will kill a dog' myth. But please, don't anyone else feed chocolate to THEIR dog! )

My Aunt-who-lived-with-us would buy molded chocolates from a co-worker every year for Easter. She loved to put the plastic grass on our low coffee table, arrange the bunnies and chicks and crosses just so. The dog never bothered with it...until one year. Came home to very little chocolate, one happy Springer Spaniel mix...and my Dad figuring he now had a use for the door he removed from the doorway between dining room and interior hallway when we first moved into the house. Cut in half, topped with a nicely finished and tapered 1x3, a few hinges...and we could still see from the front of the house to the back, but we could keep Buttons out of the dining and living rooms when we were gone.

BTW, that happened somewhere around 1960. Buttons died in 1969 at the ripe old age of 15 1/2, so I guess chocolate didn't bother her either. She also liked to share my ice cream in the summer - with no ill effects. I guess only some dogs are lactose intolerant.

 

[dragnlaw]

Chocolate & Dogs

Com'on guys, you gotta put it in perspective.

size of dog, type of chocolate, quantity.
A lot of Easter candy is milk chocolate and is less toxic. Although dark is becoming more popular. According to one source...

"It would take 20 ounces of milk chocolate to kill a 20-pound dog, but only 2 ounces of baker's chocolate or 6 ounces of semisweet chocolate."

"The first signs of theobromine poisoning are nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, and increased urination. These can progress to cardiac arrhythmias, epileptic seizures, internal bleeding, heart attacks, and eventually death."

But putting all the drama aside, as you can see from some of the posts not every ingested chip is going to cause poisoning! I think all of our dogs have snatched up a chocolate bar sometime with no obvious ill effects.

Now I do eat solid chocolate bars but I also like Reeses Peanut Butter Cups and I doubt the peanut butter is going to hurt them. Weight for weight is there more chocolate or peanut butter in them???? who knows!

 

[dragnlaw]

which has suddenly reminded me that yes, one of my dogs did have a reaction to chocolate.

I believe she went to visit a resting bike club group down on the corner and they must have fed her something.

A while later she vomited what seemed like a huge amount of semi liquid which smelled only of chocolate!

 

[PrincessFiona60]

Dad was stationed on Guam and we lived in base housing. Dad's CO loved to fish, but didn't cook, so he brought his catch to us and then stayed for dinner (he was fun, the only babysitter we girls liked). One day he caught a barracuda and brought it over. We must have been gone, so he set it on the air conditioner. Later he called and told Dad where the fish was and Dad brought it in.

Mom cooked it the next night, problem was, that fish had sat out all day on top of an air conditioner in tropical heat. The CO ate it joyfully, but I can still taste and smell "rotten motorcooler"(I was 4 years old) to this day. Anytime I see a barracuda on TV or even talk/think (like now) about it I get that taste and smell memory.

 

[BoracayB]

I guess forgetting to put the top on the blender and
forgetting to put the coffee pot back under the coffee maker
are common mistakes.
All too common for me.