More trouble than it is worth?

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Claire

Master Chef
Joined
Sep 4, 2004
Messages
7,967
Location
Galena, IL
Do you ever have moments when you say, what the heck, why am I doing this? I am making my annual cabbage rolls dinner. At this point, I am scalding and stemming the cabbage leaves. I haven't even started to make the meat mixture. If I didn't have a husband who was willing to contribute, I'd be insane by now (he's vacuumed), and if my new doggie wasn't good, in spite of herself (she spent the night being sick, won't give you the details). Today is to be her test; but, in fact, she is ours now, for better or worse (and better seems to be it, thank heaven!) But I'm having one of those few moments I have every time I entertain ...
 
I certainly got that "why am I doing this?" when making cabbage rolls. Then I realized that I don't like cabbage rolls. So, I don't make them any more.

I get it sometimes when I'm doing my big Winter Solstice dinner, but it goes away quickly.
 
Claire said:
Do you ever have moments when you say, what the heck, why am I doing this? I am making my annual cabbage rolls dinner. At this point, I am scalding and stemming the cabbage leaves. I haven't even started to make the meat mixture. If I didn't have a husband who was willing to contribute, I'd be insane by now (he's vacuumed), and if my new doggie wasn't good, in spite of herself (she spent the night being sick, won't give you the details). Today is to be her test; but, in fact, she is ours now, for better or worse (and better seems to be it, thank heaven!) But I'm having one of those few moments I have every time I entertain ...
Click to expand...

I haven't entertained in years. With my playing and working on weekends, and my wife has a chronic back condition that makes it hard for her to contribute. When I do have a weekend off, I just want to hang out with some down time. And that is when I usually do the serious housecleaning. I see more than enough food and partying the rest of the time. I don't consider myself anti-social, maybe non-social. lol! Sometimes I wish I could and sometimes I don't miss it a bit.
 
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Yes, I can say I have those thoughts, too, but not as often. After Buck died, the wind kind of got knocked out of my sails and I had no desire to do much of anything, but that was just the grief talking. However, once I reached my 60s, I began to take inventory of what is really necessary and I discovered that all I really have to do is what I want to do. That took a load off and I've been happy.

Of course, we still entertain and, like you, I have a husband who helps out. Couldn't do it as well without him.

Just hang in there and, as you're enjoying the party, you'll probably forget about sweating over that pot of steaming cabbage leaves.
 
I know that feeling. Let me start cookies to share with the nurses and dh is right there.
the questions are endless, you know why, when, what did ya do. then he starts cleaning up putting things away before you're through wanting to program the oven, forever opening the the oven door for a look, telling if I did it this way it would be easier. Aye aye aye ut's maddening makes me want to scream. You should see what happens at our Sunday dinners....
kadesma
 
Aunt Bea said:
When I have those moments I fix myself a big manhattan and the world seems better!
Click to expand...

I usually just hit the cooking wine.

I once asked a friend, "How good should the cooking wine be?" "Good enough for the cook to enjoy it while cooking." :LOL:

I always follow that advice.
 
Katie H said:
Maybe you should sell tickets? Just think of all the money you would make, then you could build a "room" for Gil and banish him when the occasion arises.:ohmy::rolleyes::LOL:
Click to expand...
Hum novel idea. But really can't complain he waits on me from morning to night and that says LOVE without sound. I'll just grab a beer and let life do the rest.
kades
 
taxlady said:
I usually just hit the cooking wine.

I once asked a friend, "How good should the cooking wine be?" "Good enough for the cook to enjoy it while cooking." :LOL:

I always follow that advice.
Click to expand...
:ROFLMAO::LOL::angel:
kades
 
We have a group of friends with whom we do a rotating potluck. About once a month someone invites everyone over for lunch or dinner. There are usually about 8-10adults and 8-11 children. We have an apartment, so things get pretty cozy. Here's the thing. I hate using paper plates, for 4 reasons.

1 I think it's wasteful
2 I'm already paying for the main dish, I own dishes that I can use for free, I don't need to pay for throw-away ones
3 When we're all finding places to squeeze in in my light-carpeted apartment, the last thing I need is to have a paper plate full of food buckle
4 I personally hate eating from paper plates, and feel like it says I care when I serve on real dishes

I told my husband a few months back that I wasn't going to host anymore because I was annoyed that nobody would offer to help clean up or help do the dishes. He then informed me that the first couple times we'd had people over, several had offered to help when I got up and went in the other room to start cleaning, and he'd told them no, so finally they'd stopped asking. Can you guess how I reacted? His reasoning: "well, we don't have a dishwasher and I'm not gonna make them wash dishes by hand." What did he think I had to do!? I have no problem doing the cleanup if I invite a couple people over for dinner when I'm cooking everything, but when we're having a casual get-together with 20 people, I'd like a little help! I told him that since he broke it, he has to fix it. He's now responsible for either informing our friends politely that he was wrong, I would like help cleaning up after, or he has to do all the cleanup, whether or not he has homework due/work/class the next day. Otherwise, it's just not worth it to me. He goes to school full time and works full time & I work 30 hours and have a toddler to chase after and another on the way. We already rarely have time for friends, so we plan get-togethers carefully when he has nothing major due, but even so, I just don't have time to spend a full day cleaning after spending half a day entertaining.
 
Hi Claire! :)..bit OT here, but - ...just "picked-up" on the "new pup" ....can't help but wonder if its Butercup, or, did you decide on another new pup?
 
I had to laugh at some of these responses! I also do not have a dishwasher. Or I should say I do; my husband! For big ones like this we take turns. But when we married, we had a couple of agreements in place. One was the person who cooks doesn't have to wash up. So after everyone left, I got to collapse. In reality there are a few pieces I'll wash (I really don't expect my husband to wash all the dishes for a group, but he did most of them).

Having my friends "help" clean up was a double edged sword. I swear, they're all used to dishwasher and/or have maids or something. I'd find myself washing dishes after they'd washed them. My husband found one friend washing dishes in cold water without soap. Huh? The fact is, many of my friends seem to have forgotten how to wash dishes!

Anyway, the cabbage roll party was a success, and I have no regrets. This was to be a sort of "coming out" party for my dog, and she passed with flying colors, even though she was sick yesterday morning (our own damned fault; we let her have too much human food). She behaved perfectly, just lying under the table while we ate.
 
Yay! Rosebud! Good girl!

Hooray, Claire! I'm so happy! Now, no letting the puppy lick the dishes clean.
 
The only thing I let friends do in terms of helping clean up after a meal is scrape food off the dishes and stack them.

One year my helpful friends piled all the dishes in the sink (without being asked to). We have a portable dishwasher that attaches to the sink, so after a party, we usually put a bunch of the dishes in the sink to get rinsed by the dirty dishwater from the first load.

When we moved the rinsed dishes from the sink to the dishwasher, I discovered my brand new digital thermometer at the bottom of the sink. Of course it was ruined. I got to use it once, for that party. I nearly cried. I had wanted a thermometer like that for years and couldn't afford it. I had gotten this one for points. I didn't have enough points left to buy a replacement.

That's why I limit what help is acceptable. Who would put a digital thermometer in a sink? Why did they think it was helpful to fill up my sink, when I don't have a double sink? Just about completely blocks its use.
 
Congrat's Claire! (on both the dinner and the puppy success)

Way to go Rosebud!!! *belly-scritches*
 
So glad it went well! I am not a cabbage roll fan, but about every 2 years, I get a hankering for them. Instead of blanching the leaves, you can stick the head of cabbage in the freezer, then thaw it for limp leaves. Easier on the fingers, LOL.
 
nora, that's a great tip! thanks.

i love reverse logic. usually, freezer limp is a bad thing.

i wonder if it helps retain any digestible nutrients as well?
 
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