What Is The Correct Food Etiquette After A Death?

[Dawgluver]

What a lovely gesture, K-girl! I'm sure it was very much appreciated.

 

[Kaneohegirlinaz]

Thanks Dawg.

I got a text this evening from one of the other neighbors (she's closer to Mrs. Neighbor than I), and she was telling me that NO ONE else has gone over to the grieving family's home and offered any covered dishes!

I may have mentioned in previous threads that in this community, the ladies DON'T COOK! Can you believe that? They ALL say it's just too much work and trouble. Oh well.

I asked her if the Memorial Open House is being catered, and she said no, some of the ladies in the `hood are taking over finger foods, so I told her that I would do the same then.

 

[Addie]

When I lived in Chelsea, at the time it was predominantly Jewish. The schools closed for all Jewish holidays. I learned something covering their practices regarding death in a family.

The deceased is buried within 24 hours and a Memorial Week is held at the home of the deceased. Any food brought to the home cannot be given away to others. It must be eaten in the home. My landlord who was Jewish (and the deceased) who lived in the building brought this all to my attention.

Me and my kids were invited to supper each night for about a week. The widow had soooo much food. This is one time disposable plates and eating utensils would have come in handy. He had two grown children and their families that lived in the building also. They too showed up every night to eat. Being Christian and only exposed to the rituals of such, I received quite an education regarding other religions and the practices surrounding death. So now I always try to find out what religion or church they attended. It just saves for some awkward moments from happening.

When I went to buy a sympathy card to send to the widow, I had a friend come with me to help me pick one out. There was one that was written in Hebrew and she translated it for me. I bought it and sent it on its way. I don't remember what it said, but one of the daughter's knocked on my door and thanked me profusely for the card. It brought her mother to tears. She walked around the house with it in her apron pocket and every so often she would take it out a look at it. She also put it under her pillow each night for the longest time. A few months later I asked the daughter why did her mother cry over the card? "Because you a Christian, would go out of your way to find just the right message for a Jew had never happened to her before". She was a Holocaust survivor. You just never know.

 

[Cooking Goddess]

...What is it about food-people? I have this overwhelming desire to feed folks, in happy times, sad times, good times as well as bad...

I'm the same way. I bet a lot of us are. When a new neighbor moves into the neighborhood, I'm usually at their door within a few days dropping off some sort of food welcome. I'm slacking lately, though. We came back from OH to new neighbors already moved in across the street. I have yet to head over with something. I better get crackin'!

 

[Kaneohegirlinaz]

I'm the same way. I bet a lot of us are. When a new neighbor moves into the neighborhood, I'm usually at their door within a few days dropping off some sort of food welcome. I'm slacking lately, though. We came back from OH to new neighbors already moved in across the street. I have yet to head over with something. I better get crackin'!

Yup, same here.
Our elderly neighbors sold their home last year and went into a Senior Community for more hands on assistance. The folks who bought their house, bought it sight unseen over the Internet, HOW'S THAT?!
Somehow, I was outside for one reason or another when they first arrived. I waved, went over to greet them and the next day I was over with a casserole.
Mrs. New Neighbor told me how happy she was that I had done that, mainly `cuz she had nothing and really didn't know where to go shopping. So she asked where she could find XYZ items and I kindly obliged.

 

[Addie]

Yup, same here.
Our elderly neighbors sold their home last year and went into a Senior Community for more hands on assistance. The folks who bought their house, bought it sight unseen over the Internet, HOW'S THAT?!
Somehow, I was outside for one reason or another when they first arrived. I waved, went over to greet them and the next day I was over with a casserole.
Mrs. New Neighbor told me how happy she was that I had done that, mainly `cuz she had nothing and really didn't know where to go shopping. So she asked where she could find XYZ items and I kindly obliged.

That's what being a good person is all about. K'girl, you kind of remind me of myself. Whenever a resident here needs information or any kind of help that I can give, I just do it.

I get all kinds of remarks from the naysayers. "Why do you do it? They don't appreciate it. They will only expect you to do it all the time. You should charge them." These are just some of the remarks I get. If I haven't seen someone in a while, I will knock on their door to make sure they are all right. What ever I do, it doesn't cost me except for my time. I don't work, so I have plenty of time to do whatever is needed.

In the warm weather when I am outside, I will see a resident turn the corner and carrying heavy bags. I rush to them with my scooter and insist that they let me take the bags right to the door of their apartments. With arthritic hands why should they be carrying heavy bundles. I have even given my phone number to some so they can call me when they are getting off the bus and I will meet them there.

It never hurts to be nice to others. You get it all back threefold.

 

[95Austin12]

Take a look at this thread for some ideas.

http://www.discusscooking.com/forum...-a-family-who-has-lost-a-loved-one-92315.html

Looks Reasourceful List!!!!! Thanks for sharing here Aunt Bea.

 

[Kaneohegirlinaz]

So the Open House Memorial was yesterday evening and this is what I made



Not the prettiest tray of nibbles I've ever made, but very good and it was gone in a heartbeat.
Pork & Veg Lumipa with a Sweet Chile dipping sauce.
Like egg roll but lighter and crisper.
DH didn't go with me down to the neighbors, he was not feeling well, so I decided to walk rather than drive, I figured it would be too crowded.
AND I WAS RIGHT!
The joint was packed and jumpin'. I had a very nice time, but when the gentleman I was having this lovely conversation with tried to fill my wine glass for the third time, I passed and said my goodbyes.
Mrs. Neighbor, wife of the departed, made a point of coming over to me to thank me again for the yummy basket that I had brought over for the family, and how grateful they all were. Her daughter heard this and also came over, "that was delicious, you must give me the recipe." Sure, read my blog in a coupla days, I'll post it there

 

[Dawgluver]

So the Open House Memorial was yesterday evening and this is what I made



View attachment 24234



Not the prettiest tray of nibbles I've ever made, but very good and it was gone in a heartbeat.

Pork & Veg Lumipa with a Sweet Chile dipping sauce.

Like egg roll but lighter and crisper.

DH didn't go with me down to the neighbors, he was not feeling well, so I decided to walk rather than drive, I figured it would be too crowded.

AND I WAS RIGHT!

The joint was packed and jumpin'. I had a very nice time, but when the gentleman I was having this lovely conversation with tried to fill my wine glass for the third time, I passed and said my goodbyes.

Mrs. Neighbor, wife of the departed, made a point of coming over to me to thank me again for the yummy basket that I had brought over for the family, and how grateful they all were. Her daughter heard this and also came over, "that was delicious, you must give me the recipe." Sure, read my blog in a coupla days, I'll post it there

I bet it was gone in a heartbeat, K-girl, looks yummy!

 

[Cheryl J]

Oh, that looks so good, Kgirl. I'd be heading for the lumpia tray too - love them!

 

[Kaneohegirlinaz]

Many Mahalos, thanks guys