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Old 12-09-2011, 11:53 AM   #11
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I think I posted this elsewhere on the site, but its funny enough to post again:

My sister and I were sharing a meal in a very nice restaurant in one of the tourist spots of Colonial America, in Williamsburg Virginia. It was a very quiet, plush sort of place with lots of Antiques and white linen settings on each table. I had a steak that sadly, was tough and overcooked. I was having a devil of a time cutting each bite with the not-so-good knife I was given. The plates were large 12 inch plates with a bowl type lip around them.

Well, as Murphy would have it, I successfully cut through an exceptionally tough bite and as the knife completed its task, the force I had on the knife caused the cut bite of steak to launch itself from the side of the plate.

I'm telling you, it flew like a high performance aircraft! To an elevation of about 6 feet, it traveled at what seemed like slow motion to me, traveled completely across the dining room and landed perfectly in an over-large purse of a lady and her companion who were enjoying their own meal.

I immediately turned to my sister, who, having witnessed the flight, was unsuccessfully trying to control her laughter. At that moment, she and I both lost ourselves in eye-watering hysteria.

The two ladies never noticed the errant hunk of cow that had planted itself into the open purse on the floor. This only added fuel to our merriment, and we laughed until my sister was literally holding her stomach in pain.

The ladies finished their meal, went to the register to pay and never noticed the surprise snack I had provided them.

I wonder to this day what that lady thought when she finally noticed that hunk of steak. I'll bet *that* moment was priceless!
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Old 12-09-2011, 12:02 PM   #12
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Tim, that would have been something to see! Wish I'd been there.
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Old 12-09-2011, 12:07 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Timothy View Post
I think I posted this elsewhere on the site, but its funny enough to post again:

My sister and I were sharing a meal in a very nice restaurant in one of the tourist spots of Colonial America, in Williamsburg Virginia. It was a very quiet, plush sort of place with lots of Antiques and white linen settings on each table. I had a steak that sadly, was tough and overcooked. I was having a devil of a time cutting each bite with the not-so-good knife I was given. The plates were large 12 inch plates with a bowl type lip around them.

Well, as Murphy would have it, I successfully cut through an exceptionally tough bite and as the knife completed its task, the force I had on the knife caused the cut bite of steak to launch itself from the side of the plate.

I'm telling you, it flew like a high performance aircraft! To an elevation of about 6 feet, it traveled at what seemed like slow motion to me, traveled completely across the dining room and landed perfectly in an over-large purse of a lady and her companion who were enjoying their own meal.

I immediately turned to my sister, who, having witnessed the flight, was unsuccessfully trying to control her laughter. At that moment, she and I both lost ourselves in eye-watering hysteria.

The two ladies never noticed the errant hunk of cow that had planted itself into the open purse on the floor. This only added fuel to our merriment, and we laughed until my sister was literally holding her stomach in pain.

The ladies finished their meal, went to the register to pay and never noticed the surprise snack I had provided them.

I wonder to this day what that lady thought when she finally noticed that hunk of steak. I'll bet *that* moment was priceless!


My DH wanted to know what was so funny. I had to catch my breath before I could tell him.

I am familiar with the "eye-watering hysteria" with my own sister. She lives on the other side of the continent, so I seldom see her nowadays, but we get that on the phone.
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Old 12-09-2011, 12:28 PM   #14
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Tim, that would have been something to see! Wish I'd been there.
It was something, Andy! That frozen moment in time when I carefully watched all the people in the room to see if *anyone* saw what I had done, was priceless. I don't know how they all missed it, but they did. That, of course, only made it more hilarious!
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Old 12-09-2011, 12:31 PM   #15
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My DH wanted to know what was so funny. I had to catch my breath before I could tell him.

I am familiar with the "eye-watering hysteria" with my own sister. She lives on the other side of the continent, so I seldom see her nowadays, but we get that on the phone.
My sister said she almost wet herself laughing! We were totally out of control. One of the most funny times of my life. That sister and I have maintained a close relationship over the years and she and her husband just celebrated their 45th marriage anniversary.
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Old 12-09-2011, 02:37 PM   #16
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ah, restaurant capers...please don't hold this against me, i was going through a bit of a rebellious patch.:)

one of those rare occasions, my husband and i were dining at a swank restaurant--dim lights and sports jackets and all. as we were finishing our meal, i asked our waiter to have a chicken leg, left from my meal, wrapped up so we could take it home with us. the waiter gave me the most supercilious look you can imagine, and said, "we don't give out doggy bags here." well, that's all i needed to hear. i popped up from the table, grabbing the drumstick in my fist, kinda waved it, and went, "yeah? oh yeah? well watch this!" we exited this elegant restaurant, with me still clutching a chicken leg like a banner, much to the horror of our waiter, and the amusement of a few diners that we passed on our way out....(i don't do stuff like that anymore, but i bet doggy bags were de rigueur at that restaurant soon afterward.):)
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Old 12-09-2011, 02:50 PM   #17
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ah, restaurant capers...please don't hold this against me, i was going through a bit of a rebellious patch.:)

one of those rare occasions, my husband and i were dining at a swank restaurant--dim lights and sports jackets and all. as we were finishing our meal, i asked our waiter to have a chicken leg, left from my meal, wrapped up so we could take it home with us. the waiter gave me the most supercilious look you can imagine, and said, "we don't give out doggy bags here." well, that's all i needed to hear. i popped up from the table, grabbing the drumstick in my fist, kinda waved it, and went, "yeah? oh yeah? well watch this!" we exited this elegant restaurant, with me still clutching a chicken leg like a banner, much to the horror of our waiter, and the amusement of a few diners that we passed on our way out....(i don't do stuff like that anymore, but i bet doggy bags were de rigueur at that restaurant soon afterward.):)
There isn't a restaurant on the planet that doesn't have plastic wrap in the kitchen. Snobs bother me greatly! The boy should have gotten you some wrap at least.

Good for you! I may have done the same thing!
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Old 12-09-2011, 03:08 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by vitauta View Post
ah, restaurant capers...please don't hold this against me, i was going through a bit of a rebellious patch.:)

one of those rare occasions, my husband and i were dining at a swank restaurant--dim lights and sports jackets and all. as we were finishing our meal, i asked our waiter to have a chicken leg, left from my meal, wrapped up so we could take it home with us. the waiter gave me the most supercilious look you can imagine, and said, "we don't give out doggy bags here." well, that's all i needed to hear. i popped up from the table, grabbing the drumstick in my fist, kinda waved it, and went, "yeah? oh yeah? well watch this!" we exited this elegant restaurant, with me still clutching a chicken leg like a banner, much to the horror of our waiter, and the amusement of a few diners that we passed on our way out....(i don't do stuff like that anymore, but i bet doggy bags were de rigueur at that restaurant soon afterward.):)
I would have been tempted to wrap it in my napkin, cloth or paper!! (hoping for cloth!) That's funny though.


Timothy, I have to tell you I haven't laughed that hard in loooong time! Laughed so hard I cried, lost my breathe AND peed my pants! Had to go change clothes before I could post a reply!!
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Old 12-09-2011, 03:13 PM   #19
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Timothy, I have to tell you I haven't laughed that hard in loooong time! Laughed so hard I cried, lost my breathe AND peed my pants! Had to go change clothes before I could post a reply!!
I'm happy to have caused you to laugh greatly! Every time you do that, it adds a year to your life!

Live long and laugh hard.
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Old 12-09-2011, 05:17 PM   #20
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The last time I went to the mall (once in the last two years), I was walking along beside a kiosk, in the middle of the mall. There was a guy leaning against the kiosk, who said to me, fairly loudly, "Are those real?" I didn't know he was asking about my fingernails.
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