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Old 12-06-2011, 07:57 PM   #1
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A funny thing happened to me on my way to the Coliseum...

I thought of a thread that might be really fun. A short story about something seriously funny that actually happened to you.

We all have a thousand of em...

Under "Things I have over-heard,"

"Grandma, quit squeakin em out! Everyone is getting afraid to stand next to you."

I was standing in my own living room when I overheard that one.


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Old 12-06-2011, 09:24 PM   #2
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In March we went to Las Vegas with friends. We had tickets for Mystere at Treasure Island. I have a friend that loves Maggiano's and we decided to eat there. On our way to the theater, we were walking in front of the Fashion Square Mall, right on the strip. My friends stopped at an outside kiosk to check out some T-shirts. While they were looking, I started walking and didn't realize that there was a step.....

This whole area in front of the mall is polished granite, like a countertop. I go down and try to put my hands down to make sure I don't land on my face, but the sidewalk was so slick I just ended up looking like I was making a face-down-snow-angel..... spread out on the sidewalk, in front of hundreds of people, including a bus at the stoplight.....

My friends and partner were so preoccupied at the kiosk 10 feet away that they had no clue what happened, until I told them a few months later. If it hadn't been for the slick granite, I would have been all tore up!

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Old 12-07-2011, 12:42 AM   #3
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lol, tim and bakechef.

speaking of grandmas, i was on the line in a convenience store in my parents' retirement community one time behind a cute little 5 year old girl and her mom. the little girl kept trying to convince her mom to buy some candy, but her mom just put everything the girl took back on the shelves.

as they got to the checkout, the girl grabbed one more piece of candy and said to her mom that it was a gift to bring her grandma since they were there for a visit.

frustrated with her daughter's insistance, the mom put it back as well, saying, "i've told you before grandma doesn't eat that kind of crap!"

in the most angelic little sarcastic voice, the little girl replied, "well, just what kind of crap does grandma eat?"

true story.
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Ever waxing, ever waning.
Hateful life; first oppresses, and then it soothes, as fancy takes it; poverty and power. It melts them like ice.
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Old 12-07-2011, 03:03 AM   #4
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In my 20s I was in a laundrette on a Sunday, two women were discussing health issues and I earwigged from behind my news paper.
Oh it was agony the doctor said it was it was the worst case of a blocked Philippine tube he had seen
I was married by a judge, I should have asked for a jury.
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Old 12-07-2011, 04:55 AM   #5
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Years ago, I spent the summer in Stockholm. The night b/4 I left, my friends and I went out. I was soooo hung over when I got on the flight. After I picked up my luggage in Montreal, I grabbed a cab. I handed the driver the address of my friend. I didn't really catch on as to why he kept making these big hand signals when he asked me anything. I didn't realize until after he left that he assumed I was deaf--no, I was too tired and hung over to talk! But, it was nice to have my trip comp'd.
I've got OCD--Obsessive Chicken Disorder!
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Old 12-07-2011, 08:41 AM   #6
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one day my daughter wanted to make a quick stop at target, and my grandson wanted to go with her. she told aj she was in a hurry and didn't want him along, begging for toys. aj gave his mom his solemn 7 year-old's promise that there would be no toy talk from him, so mom reluctantly agreed that he could go. in the store, they were going past a huge display of balls, aj's most favorite toy in the world, and he yelled out, "wow!! mom!! look at all those BALLS!!!" as his mother was about to sternly remind him of his promise, aj piped up again saying, "look at all those balls--that i don't want!"...i think he got a ball that day....:)
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Old 12-07-2011, 12:28 PM   #7
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Thanks for all the posts, folks. You've got me cracking up! Keep em coming!
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Old 12-09-2011, 11:01 AM   #8
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One of my many Danish cousins got married and moved to England. She cooked many Danish dishes. One of the kids' favourites was a dessert called "rødgrød". It's a sort of a fruit pudding made with red fruits, thickened with potato fllour, and served cold with cream.

One day the kids were being very noisy while playing in the yard and driving their mum crazy. After several requests to quiet down, she threatened "No rødgrød if you guys keep making all that noise." Well, she finally went to the backyard and informed them that there would be no rødgrød for dessert that evening.

The four year old said, "I still love you Mummy." Then he nudged his five year old sister and whispered, "You say it too, or we won't get any rødgrød."
May you live as long as you wish and love as long as you live.
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Old 12-09-2011, 11:39 AM   #9
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Here is a link to a post I made in another thread that fits here perfectly.

Let Me Tell You About My Grandkids...
"If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe." -Carl Sagan
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Old 12-09-2011, 11:40 AM   #10
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Several years ago when DD was 8, we were over at a friends house near the holidays, she turned and asked me " Mom, do we celebrate harmonica too?"

Another DD snippet, She had a crush on a fella in DH's band. So I say to her "You want to huuuug him, You want to kiiiisssss him, luuuuuvvv him and maarrrry him" You have never seen a kid blush so hard. She was 10. I was on the floor laughing.

Just because someone tells you that you can't do something doesn't mean you have to listen.
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