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Old 09-18-2008, 11:14 PM   #31
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Well-she "kicked it up a notch"-her soon-to-be-ex husband found her on the floor this morning (thurs 9/18) unconcious and overdosed-evidently she washed down a handfull of psychotropic (?) pills with a bottle of vodka.

While I know this type of behavior should never be taken lightly, in all fairness this makes seven attempts since summer of 2005. Surprisingly, my wife took it well (all things considered) and the doctors said she will be OK.

A lot of advice I/we've recieved here on DC is resonating pretty loudly, and we've decided to stick to our guns. We will no longer enable this behavior-and we fully realize the risk. I've told her in the past that if she chooses to take her own life, i will be sad, but in no way will she be remembered as a hero or a martyr. That may sound harsh-but its truly the way I feel.

I not asking for more support-I am already overwhelmed by the outpouring of kindness from you all, and I don't even know how I could possibly thank you enough. Just know that in my heart of hearts, I am thankful for each and every one of you, and I mean that sincerely.

I just thought I would bring you up to date. Now, I think I'll see about getting my valium Rx refilled

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Old 09-19-2008, 01:40 AM   #32
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I ahve read only the first page of this thread. But from that page, I have to concurr with the advice given. But it's a difficult thing to do. I know of a Mother-daughter relationship that is much like what you are discribing. Unfortunately, the mother is enabling her daughter to misbehave. And like your situation, there is a young child in the mix, only about 3 years of age. The mother of the child is teaching the child to misbehave. She thinks that it's funny. She is destroying that child's future. Do not let this person in your home, not only for your sake, but for the boy's as well. If the woman won't accept help, then she has made her bed. The cycle must be broken. She can't be allowed to destroy her son's life as she has messed up her own.

It's a harsh thing to say, and I don't know that I'd be any better at turning one of my own away. Fortunately, I don't have to. They are all wonderful adults.

If it helps, think of it this way. We are responsible to everyone else on this planet. We need to hold out a hand of love and help, especially to our families. But, if that person who needs help is tearing down the rest of the family, then they are a harm to themselves and everyone else around them, and must be removed. When you enable a misbehaving person, you are giving them power. Power is control. Would you give a 6 year old child a shotgun? No, because he hasn't the knowledge, or maturity to be trusted with that much power. Power must be meeted out to people according to their ability to wield it. And if they misuse it, it must be taken from them. If this woman refuses to take accountability for her actions, and refuses to act reasonably, then the power to misbehave, at least in your home, must be taken from her. My children, indeed, any who enter my home know that it is a no smoking, no swearing, no fighting, no alcohol zone. My home is my refuge and sanctuary, and is such for anyone within it. Break my household rules and you will be shown the door, even thrown out. I've only had to throw one person out of my home, and that was a very long time ago.

Seeeeeya; Goodweed of the North

“No amount of success outside the home can compensate for failure within the home…"

Check out my blog for the friendliest cooking instruction on the net. Go ahead. You know you want to.- http://gwnorthsfamilycookin.wordpress.com/
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Old 09-19-2008, 08:00 AM   #33
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Originally Posted by smoke king View Post

I just thought I would bring you up to date. Now, I think I'll see about getting my valium Rx refilled
RonJohn is making sidecars tonight....he mentioned it in the sidecar thread. Why not go over there and drink some of my bourbon? (he's holding a few bottles hostage till I come to detroit, of all places).

Your on a rough road, but so is the young lady. Counseling all around, I say. Good luck, and I mean that.
How can we sleep while our beds are burning???
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Old 09-22-2008, 02:00 AM   #34
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I'm sorry, but I'd say not only no, but aitch ee double hockey sticks no. I decided to forgoe having children, but at some point, no matter what, they have to grow up. I have two freinds who now have "children" older than me who cannot live their own lives. (I'm 53). Time to make the kids move on, especially if the kids are well into adult-hood.

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