Originally Posted by Addie
Happy Father's Day to all our fathers in this forum.
The question is this;
If society had been different when you were raising your children, would you have liked to be a "stay at home Dad" and raised the children alone while the wife went off to work?
More and more Dads today are finding the joy in their children that women have always known.
Also for you fathers who haven't become grandfathers yet. Please feel free to answer.
I was fortunate to be able to bond with them as tiny infants, just as their mother did. I sang them to sleep, paced the floor with them in my arms to help quiet them, changed diapers, helped them learn to craw, walk, talk, play, fall safely, and all of that stuff. With their mother, I helped teach them right from wrong, how to search for good and uplifting things, and that there are consequences good and bad for the choices they made. Even though I worked a full time job, and at one point had to leave them to go to sea for months (I was a sailor on aircraft carriers), I gave them every moment I could give them. They captured my heart from the moment they were conceived. I literally could do no less.
My job as a father was far more important to me than was my job to make money. I had to work to provide the resources for DW and my children. I had more, and higher paying working skills than did she. We both knew that when we married. Even so, most of the time I wasn't with them was when they were in school. And in the summer time, they were doing what they had to do, some chores, and playing with friends. I taught them all of the skills that I could, from problem solving, to respect, honesty, integrity, faith, engineering, a love of good, healthy food, and how to prepare it, and so many other things, all while, as my wife puts it, being their biggest toy.
I wouldn't change a thing, except to follow a couple of faith related tasks that I fell short of.
Life is what you make of it. If we have children, we have the obligation to give them the best chance at success that we can. That means we teach them everything we can, and set the example.
My eldest son gives me credit for his drive to succeed. He watched me take care of DW, him and his siblings, work, and obtain a B.S. EET degree all at the same time. He will be going to dental school starting in August, while raising two adorable children, and being the best husband he can be. My other children, now grown, you know as well, P.A.G., and Sprout, who are equally as amazing. My other son, well I hear such great things about his professional abilities that I have to be proud of the man he's become. He cooks, and does it exceptionally well. He just needs to take that extra step and go to school. He is very good. He could be great.
Would I stay at home to raise my children and let my wife work full time? If I had to do everything over again, no. Shes' the mother of my children, was a full time housewife and mother, and had things to offer our children that only a mother can give. I served in my role as father, and that complimented her role as a mother. It wasn't about the job. It wasn't about male dominance, it wasn't about power. It was about doing what each of us did best, and about giving our children the best that we could give them, often in spite of the "best current advice from the experts".
I relied on my faith, and the teachings of the church that I belong to help me understand what was truly important in life. I have been richly rewarded for doing so, not in money, but in a strong, loving family.
Oh, and just so everyone knows, I'm not writing this to say - hey, look at me. I am writing this so that you can evaluate what you believe is important in raising children. What I did worked for me and my family. It's also working for my children, and grand children. I offer it as an example of one way to look at life.
Oh, and thanks for the Father's day wish, Addie.
Seeeeeeya; Chief Longwind of the North