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Old 12-20-2007, 10:33 AM   #11
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Calli, You sent a wonderful gift to your father and his SO for Christmas. Dad's SO told you it was thoughtful, albeit a first in her eyes. Maybe she feels money speaks but you and I both know better!! You have opened your house and your heart to them for years. Be thankful that you could send them something this year. Just enjoy the Holidays and relax, Dad is with SO for a reason(don't know why). Dawn T

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Old 12-20-2007, 11:12 AM   #12
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I'm sorry that you feel bad...

Just know that YOU did the right thing ( a wonderful gift) and move on.
Some people are never happy and for some reason they don't want others to be happy either. She sounds like one of those types.

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on. Robert Frost
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Old 12-20-2007, 12:31 PM   #13
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Oooohhh.... one of them.

I am sorry for you. Hang in there!
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Old 12-20-2007, 01:17 PM   #14
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My dear....you are allowing yourself to be aggrevated.....put it behind you. Know that you did the right thing. Just have a Merry Christmas and look forward to a wonderful 2008 for you and your little family!
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Old 12-20-2007, 01:28 PM   #15
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Calli, let me tell you about my aunt.

She always overtly seemed sweet, but there were always the barbs.

She could never graciously accept a gift, no matter how hard anyone tried. And believe me we tried.

There was always the zinger - the this is the first gift thing. There are folks out there like that.

You cannot control others. All you are responsible for is your behavior.

Your dad has chosen this dame and that is what you have to deal with.

So deal with it any way you wish.

But until and unless dad decides to give this woman the heave-ho your contact with your father will to some degree include her.

Sorry. All you can do is decide how much contact you want to have with dad and the odious one.

But there is no gain in letting the situation eat you up.

There is a prayer that twelve step programs have:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

It is the accepting that which I cannot change part that I come back to so often.

It gives me solace when it seems there could not be any.

Just my take on life, Merry Christmas and God bless.
Before criticizing a person, walk a mile in his shoes - then you are a mile away and you have his shoes!
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Old 12-21-2007, 08:56 AM   #16
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She is who she is, never gonna change that.

Don't let someone's ugly get under your skin. It's so not worth it.

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Old 12-22-2007, 12:21 AM   #17
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Callisto in NC,
I am no therapist or Dr. but all I can say is be yourself.
Do not let other person's actions drive your behaviour or response.
She probably doesn't know how to interact with you in a nice way.
Think of a relationship with an ex. sometimes the arguments or fights are a way to interact. And don't expect your Dad to take sides, that will leave you exposed to unneeded dissapointment as romantic and paternal love are not clearly separated sometimes. As Kadesma put it, do not let her response dissapoint you.
Next year send me the package, I promise I will send you a sincere thank you card LOL
"Tell me what you eat, and I will tell you what you are" Anthelme Brillat-Savarin
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Old 12-22-2007, 08:16 AM   #18
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Dear Callisto, Your Father's "Woman" is his problem my friend. Let it be that way. She has a need to "win" over you. Don't let her - a smile will do and let it go at that. You are too good a person to be a loser to her.
You have a Christmas that is is the true spirit of the season. From me to you. D
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Old 12-30-2007, 04:53 PM   #19
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Im so steaming P off mad at Dh he is always pestering me to
make dinner for his hunters and we have hunters here for months.So this time he wanted me to make dinner and I said no.So he keeps pestering me so I relented and told him I would do lunch.So what does he do?He shows up at 10:30 in the morning with them and tells me they just ate breakfast but will be back at 3:30pm for a late lunch. Ok didnt like that but I can deal.Now he calls me at 3:15 and tells me they will be here until about 5:30 so what he did is turn it into a dinner which I did not want to do.The food isn't a problem as Im making enchiladas for their lunch which will be dinner.But the fact that he manipilated me like that makes me so freakin angry and I cant wring his neck cuz he is safely miles from here.If he was more helpful around the house I might want to feed all his friends more of the time it never occurs to him I hafto cook, serve and clean up afterwards.Ya, its great fun for him because he wont lift a finger when it comes to anything.They will sit around stuff their faces and drink beer.I am so da*m mad Im crying.I just cant believe he did that to me.Whats worse I wont be able to tear into him when they get here.But let me tell you he has got it comming.Big time!
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Old 12-30-2007, 04:59 PM   #20
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Oh, man, jp! I'd be just as angry. I think I'd be tempted to put the meal out with a note and leave the house to go to a movie. Let him handle the rest.

I think the part that would steam my clams the most is the "manipulation" part. Makes you want to hit people and break things!!!!

Enjoy the movie!

"As a girl I had zero interest in the stove." - Julia Child
This is real inspiration. Look what Julia became!
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