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Old 12-19-2007, 08:09 PM   #1
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A Vent ~

My daughter is the only one here and she just doesn't get it. So I sent one of my (if I don't say so myself) lovely baskets to my father and his **woman**. It contained Katie's hot chocolate mix (a full pint jar), two loaves, three kinds of cookies, fudge, and a hot chocolate kit. I sent it UPS 2 day so it would be there on time. I packaged it in two nice baskets and a lovely tin. What do I get from his **woman**? No joke she says "That was so nice, it's the first time you've sent us a Christmas gift." Seriously, what the heck is up with that? Not just "thank you", no this **woman** feels the need to point out that it's the first time I've ever sent anything.

For the past two years they've invaded my house, I've given up my room, my bed (I slept on a futon), cooked for them, cleaned for them, and provided all their needs during their 4 day visit, and I'm a single mom on a limited income. Apparently, I erroneously assumed that spending a couple of hundred dollars I didn't have was enough for them. I know it was enough for my dad, but apparently she thinks I should have done more.

As irked as I am, I'm kind of proud of my response to her. I didn't tell her where to stick it. I smiles and said, "this is the first year anyone's gotten anything from me." Seriously, who acts like that? I've hated gifts they've given me but I've always been gracious. Who does that?

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Old 12-19-2007, 08:52 PM   #2
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Originally Posted by Callisto in NC View Post
My daughter is the only one here and she just doesn't get it. So I sent one of my (if I don't say so myself) lovely baskets to my father and his **woman**. It contained Katie's hot chocolate mix (a full pint jar), two loaves, three kinds of cookies, fudge, and a hot chocolate kit. I sent it UPS 2 day so it would be there on time. I packaged it in two nice baskets and a lovely tin. What do I get from his **woman**? No joke she says "That was so nice, it's the first time you've sent us a Christmas gift." Seriously, what the heck is up with that? Not just "thank you", no this **woman** feels the need to point out that it's the first time I've ever sent anything.

For the past two years they've invaded my house, I've given up my room, my bed (I slept on a futon), cooked for them, cleaned for them, and provided all their needs during their 4 day visit, and I'm a single mom on a limited income. Apparently, I erroneously assumed that spending a couple of hundred dollars I didn't have was enough for them. I know it was enough for my dad, but apparently she thinks I should have done more.

As irked as I am, I'm kind of proud of my response to her. I didn't tell her where to stick it. I smiles and said, "this is the first year anyone's gotten anything from me." Seriously, who acts like that? I've hated gifts they've given me but I've always been gracious. Who does that?
It's obvious she doesn't know how to just say thank you..Don't let her reply make YOU miserable..It's not worth it..Just take it as thank you and save yourself an upset tummy..You did a good thing andI'm sure your dad is thrilled...I learned a long time ago, I'm important to my family the ones who love me, so I don't waste my precious time on those who care to look down long dark noses at me..They don't count in the scheme of things..Bravo to you on your lovely gift and that is what counts.
kadesma
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Old 12-19-2007, 09:08 PM   #3
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.PWI...............
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Old 12-19-2007, 09:15 PM   #4
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Calli, as hard it might be, take the high road. Just paste a smile on your face and plod through the season. I, for one, would have LOVED the gift you offered. So many times folks have no clue what goes into preparing a gift of homemade things.

I have spent years making homemade gifts and given them with wild abandon. Just give them and run away.

Don't beat yourself up. You did a wonderful, loving thing. Go on and enjoy the rest of your holiday.
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Old 12-19-2007, 09:46 PM   #5
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to sad

the holidays can be a mine feld. some people just suck. next year just give u dad something.

babe
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Old 12-19-2007, 09:53 PM   #6
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the holidays can be a mine feld. some people just suck. next year just give u dad something.

babe
Gosh, there's the interesting part of the equation now that I think about it. The package was addressed to him, not them. I guess it's assuming of her to think it was for her and not just him.
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Old 12-19-2007, 10:08 PM   #7
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Be careful not to hear what you want to hear because of feelings about the "**woman**.

She told you "that was so nice...."

sounds like a thank you to me.
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Old 12-19-2007, 10:38 PM   #8
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I waited before posting, Callisto, because my first response was "Awww, why couldn't your dad's SO just be sweet and recognize all the time and love and care that went into that package?" I felt bad for you because you have gone out of your way for so many this year. I know you're on a limited budget and that worries you but your gifts involved so much time - something much more valuable than anything money could buy. So I was instantly a little miffed for you.

But I think the real key here is that you gave of yourself and you were gracious and you sent your dad lots of yummy things you made with love. Don't be upset. In fact, don't allow yourself to even think of anything but the wonderful gifts you made and let it fill you with joy. In fact, maybe you've lit a little candle there. Everyone who received your lovely gifts is bound to feel special, knowing that you cared about them enough to spend that much time on them! Who knows what may come of that? For now, just know that your friends here think your gifts were wonderful like you!
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Old 12-19-2007, 10:44 PM   #9
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Maybe your dad liked it so much she got jealous and had to be nasty!
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Old 12-20-2007, 08:22 AM   #10
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Be careful not to hear what you want to hear because of feelings about the "**woman**.

She told you "that was so nice...."

sounds like a thank you to me.
The issue is, she never just stops. Two years ago when I wouldn't eat her Wal-Mart ham (I don't eat any ham, at all) after reminding my father who's known for 10 years I don't eat ham, I got a 6 page letter about how horrid I was. She never stops at "Thank you." with anyone, it's "thank you BUT..."

My aunt decided it's because the woman never owned a television, that's what she told me. She's just different according to my aunt, but my aunt can relate to my frustration. Apparently, pointing out the flaws when receiving things is par for the course with this woman.
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