Abuse

[In the Kitchen]

Abuse in any form is wrong! Why do people continually practice it? I know they are frustrated themselves about their jobs, traffic, cell phones, weight,etc. Did I miss something? Anyway, I complained before about people shouting things when I would try t o walk so I tried to resolve that problem with iPod. Now the kids tell me when they ride their bikes to work people just can't keep their mouths shut. The language they spew out of their mouths is not allowed here. They come home so defeated in their efforts to by pass lot of other problems. Can't get away from people. I know sometimes I may think about what upsets me. I know how it feels to have someone yell it from a car. it hurts twice as bad when they come home and have rough day. Now they want to give up. The bikes are in the garage. They are driving too and figure that way won't have to hear it. What can we do when people make fools of t hemselves and it affects us? Don't they have some kind of gun you can use to shoot paint from? Is t hat against the law? They do not say anything in response to them as it would only bring them down to their level. Beside being hot and worn out they have to endure this stuff. Hope your day goes better. If it does, how do you handle it when someone yells out things that bother you? Does it work?

 

[Michelemarie]

My pet peeve is when I have my young son playing at the park and the older kids are swearing or talking about inappropriate things. If I hear inappropriate words, I absolutely say something - usually, "Hey, guys, watch your language, their are young children here". I am not mean about it - as I don't want a fist in my mouth. I have not gotten a bad response yet - but it is a very uncomfortable situation.

 

[The Z]

Wow... Where do you LIVE where this kind and level of rudeness is so common?!?

People can be idiots, but I guess I've been spoiled by living in tolerant communities. As much as people might say "just don't let it bother you", it is apparently not so easy. Some people are more sensitive than others and, therefore, the words of others carry more emotional weight.

I don't have any 'answers' I guess. All I know is that the only people we can control is ourselves. Shouting a smart comment back (or shooting them with paint) is not the answer. You won't change them.

 

[sattie]

Unfortunately it seems to get worse with time and I am truly sorry that it happens. I am not sure what is said or why.... but saying anything that is derrogatory is just plain childishness. Most folks that say ugly things to other folks makes them feel better in a weird way. They say these things because there are things in their life that stinks, or they are upset with so to get their minds off of it, it is easy to pick on someone else that may not have the perfect body, or their hair is frizzy, or their clothes look worn and tattered, or have too many tattoos. Most the time those folks have more pressing issues themselves than you having to endure the overflow of their sadness. It is sad and I feel bad for those folks that have to degrade others to make themselves feel better.

When I am out walking, I make it a point to SMILE at everyone... even the ones that look grumpy. My smile will cause someone else to smile and then cause someone else to smile... etc. I find this to be my best defense when I come across a person that is rude or just needs a bit of up lifting.

Take heart, we all LOVE you here!

 

[Shunka]

I think it all boils down to manners and being courteous not being the norm anymore. That is such a pity. I know that the majority of us here were taught to "mind our manners, don't say anything if you can't say anything nice, etc." Plus we were taught to control our anger; I know that "back in the day" there were times when a person wanted to spout off and rage but we didn't, did we? Now if you go a day without hearing about someone, somewhere having road rage, it is rare. More's the pity. :'(

 

[bknox]

I agree that people do not train thier kids like when I was a kid. I still use a lot of yes Ma'am, No Ma'am or I flinch from the expectaion of my Grandfather slapping me in the head. It is funny that a drug addict is 'chemical dependent' but a young lady can be referred to as a b***h. I see kids on the street that use horrible language, even when refering to their friends. I am hands on with my kids and they know I will not tolerate that kind of language and do not fear Social Services when it comes to discipline. My Dad and Grandfather, both, were very strict and although I was embarrased a couple of times, the manners they made me use have been useful millions of times.

Also do not let your tv raise your kids. That's my 2 cents.

 

[In the Kitchen]

Feedback

I could not believe it! Not one word or comment did I hear today when i did my walk. That was a surprise as much crabbing as I did just before I left. I feel so calm right now and am I thankful. What a difference a day makes. I wonder where they all were? Did you guys tell them to watch out? It worked because I had beautiful time. what a gift.

At least I know there are few here who don't like it either when people try to bring your spirit down. To remain quiet, you think that is the answer? When I was at home w/ our father and he was in a rage, often the one who was quiet got the most beatings. Don't know why this was either! He never wanted to get into argument w/our dad and he got it the most. This is really messed up society where they can use the kind of words they do to sing songs. I often wonder what our dad would have done then? If we would say something in the house he could control but having it on public airwaves would probably make him get worse.

You all agree there is nothing one can do but tolerate it. Seems like saying just accept it? As you said some 'weird way makes them feel better'. This proves their minds are messed up. Raising kids is NOT easy if you raise them w/proper respect. It is easier to just let them do what they want. When I would correct mine it would hurt me more than them but the message was received.

 

[skilletlicker]

Abuse in any form is wrong! Why do people continually practice it?

I watched my first episode of "Hells Kitchen" a couple days ago. I mention that show, not to single it out among all the terrible examples that impressionable children and adults are continually exposed to, but it's still fresh in my mind and its subject (cooking) relates to this forum.

Wow... Where do you LIVE where this kind and level of rudeness is so common?!?

Where do you live that it doesn't and would you please forward the real estate listings?

I absolutely say something - usually, "Hey, guys, watch your language, their are young children here". I am not mean about it - as I don't want a fist in my mouth. I have not gotten a bad response yet - but it is a very uncomfortable situation.

You're a hero! Stay brave --- but not too brave!

 

[The Z]

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Z
Wow... Where do you LIVE where this kind and level of rudeness is so common?!?

Where do you live that it doesn't and would you please forward the real estate listings?

I guess I've just had the good fortune to have been able to live in places that are either liberal or conservative but tolerant. There will always be rare idiots that spout off, but they seem to be the exception rather than the rule. Since moving from Australia (liberal) I have lived in Iowa (tolerant), Vermont (tolerant), Flagstaff AZ (liberal) and Las Vegas (liberal).

 

[In the Kitchen]

the Z

You are blessed! Thanks for sharing your experience with having locations that didn't make you feel like jumping off bridge. Not to have ordeal to contend with is rare gift nowadays. I have heard about Iowa being quiet but getting opportunity to move there is rare. you must have an angel watching out for you that puts you in such friendly places. Wish we all could be so lucky. May it always continue. I wish you no ill will w/people. Just count your blessings.

 

[skilletlicker]

In the Kitchen,

My experience is when it gets really heavy, I need people around me to help bear the weight. Sometimes I need to be reminded to let them help.