The following 15 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos
around the country.
#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch
after you wear them a while
# 14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a
worthless document."
#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed
of the bullet that'll be chasing you."
#11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write
anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it
will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"
#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O. K., I'm warning you not to do that again
or I'll give you another ticket."
#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or
not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to
ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."
#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
oven."
#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
#4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"
#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed
to write as many tickets as we can."
#2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend of
yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."
AND THE WINNER IS....
#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.
Sign here."
around the country.
#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch
after you wear them a while
# 14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a
worthless document."
#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed
of the bullet that'll be chasing you."
#11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write
anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it
will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"
#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O. K., I'm warning you not to do that again
or I'll give you another ticket."
#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or
not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to
ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."
#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
oven."
#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
#4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"
#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed
to write as many tickets as we can."
#2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend of
yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."
AND THE WINNER IS....
#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.
Sign here."
I like #1.
