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Old 09-07-2005, 09:54 PM   #21
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I too am in the camp that children should not be spoiled. I had to work hard as a young teen, and around the house before that. I had chores. I didn't get an allowance. The three most prized possesions I ever had were the broken down snowmobile I was given to fix up. I had to buy an engine for it, strip it of paint, repaint it, repair a whole in the fiberglass hood, etc., and on my own, making a whopping buck-25 an hour. I took months to save for the engine, and a few more to get it all fixed. But I did it myself. And though it was old, and wasn't the fastest machine in town, it was one of the coolest. At least it was to me.

My other prized possesion was my bow. It cost me over $200 in 1975. I was only making about $350 a month in the Navy. I still use that bow today. It is the one thing I can hand down to my kids that represents my life an ideal. It demands attention, steadfastness, commitment, and excellence. If not given these things, the bow will warp arrows, skewer the sides of barns (I can shoot a blunt head arrow through a car door with that bow). And if you're not paying attention, that 70 lb.-pull draw weight will drag a bow-string accross your forearm with sufficient force to tear, or at least severely bruise the skin. And with only 20% let-off, the machine will tire you quickly and cause mistakes, if you're not very diligent.

Lastly, my dual-purpose 1975 Yamaha DT-250 Enduro, again purchased on a very meager salary, while I was in the Navy, gave me countless hours rip-roarin' pleasure climbing hills that just shouldn't have been climbed on an enduro. But I was light at the time, and the bike had the power, so I climbed ten foot high verticals at the end of 150 foot hills.

These things were important for me because I worked hard for them, and worked hard with them. I havfe given my children the same opportunities to have low paying jobs as teens, and work hard to purchase relatively expensive toys (one son purchased an $800 mountain bike, the pedal kind, an loved it as much as I did my Yamaha). And all of them are still working hard, either at jobs, university, or both. I am proud of each of them.

In my opinion, there are three things children, and adults need to know and understand. EDITED ACCORDING TO COMMUNITY POLICY Second, for each and every choice made, there is a consequence. Third, we must understand that we as individuals are not the most important thing in the universe. And finally, we must be personally accountable for our actions.

These four principles will build integrety, honor, and love into the lives who hold these principles dear.

Spoil your kids and you teach them that they are all important, that they don't have to follow the rules of society, and that they have to look to material things to bring themselves happiness. They lose the principle that people, especially their family and close friends are more important than are their Porches, and their boats, and any other toys that are given to them.

Yes, I gave my kids toys, things to spark their imaginations, and that would help teach them skills learned from practice and perserverance. My boys had an air-rifle/pellet gun. They never got in trouble with it and had to practice the buddy-system whenever it left the house. They also weren't allowed to use it on their own (without parental supervision, that would be me) until at least 12 years of age. Both boys, and I are expert marksman because of the practice while they were young. And they know and respect the power that is inherent to projectile weapons of any kind, be it a bow, or a bb-gun, or a high-powered rifle. They also know how to be tender and sympathetic, and to treat others with courtesy and respect.

The girls were encouraged to take the canoe out on a very large river, with freinds, and take trips down-current. And this was the St. Mary's River, that is in excess of 30 feet deep, and a mile wide at its widest point, with a 5 mph current, and 1000 foot lake freighters running up and down it. I taught them how to paddle, how to right the canoe in deep water, should it capsize, and how to get back into it, and other techniques essential to their safety. We also all went winter camping in sub-zero weather, in tents.

My kids are very independant, and as I have said so many times, make me proud. I believe that if you are going to bring kids into the world, you'd better be willing to give a majority of your life to them. If not, then you shouldn't have kids. As others have said, children are our greatest treasure. I believe that with all my heart. I believe it so much, that I feel that every child has the right to be reared by a father and mother who have comiited to each other, and their family through marriage. Anything less is cheating the children.

And yes, I'm speaking from experience. My mother and father divorced when I was 3-years of age. And though not every marriage will work, and divorce is sometimes inevitable, it happens far to frequently, and usually because one or both partners aren't willing to put selfish interests aside for the good of their partner.

And yes, I'm sounding preachy, but this is of the utmost importance to me. Family is everything. And children must be cared for properly. Just read my tag-line at the bottom of all of my posts. That says it all for me.

Seeeeeya; Goodweed of the North

“No amount of success outside the home can compensate for failure within the home…"

Check out my blog for the friendliest cooking instruction on the net. Go ahead. You know you want to.- http://gwnorthsfamilycookin.wordpress.com/
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Old 09-08-2005, 12:21 AM   #22
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Originally Posted by Maidrite
I hate it when your watching a movie or on a camping trip and a cell phone goes off ! Ok now we know where Maidrite Stands ! In Pageland SC!
I agree, maidrite!! I never take my cell phone into restaurants, movies, meetings, etc. If for some reason I have to take it in somewhere it should not be I turn it on silent or vibrate. It is so annoying to listen to other people on cell phones in a restaurant. If I was their dinner partner I would get up and leave.

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.

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Old 09-12-2005, 05:36 AM   #23
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I am 24 going on 25. I'm getting married next year and thinking of having a kid some time during the next 5 years or less. I am still a student and so I take the public transportation to school. I often see kids about 8 to 10 or 12 talking on their cell phones, girls with mini skirts (you can almost see their private parts). Boys and girls smuching, and I think to myself... if I have a kid, will it become like this? I think a kid becomes what mom and dad teach it. But in such a mediatized world, where everyone is a fashion victim, kids just get their own way. And if cell phones are the thing in fashion, they'll hate the parents if the kid does not get one. I sometimes feel that the world has come to such extremes! When I was growing up I didn't need any of those things. Nowadays I have a cell phone and I forget to take it with me, to recharge it, to turn it on or off... I can perfectly live without it. I cannot see why 8 year olds cant

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Old 09-12-2005, 09:04 AM   #24
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Well I haven't been in the US for over 5 years and the situation might have changed ever since, but I noticed the mobile/cellular telephones are much, much more spread in Europe and the UK than in the US, it has become an essential tool in everyday life to just about everybody and it is very common to see children that young carry their own telephone.
Maybe because I was never a social type ever since I was growing up, but this phenomenon always seemed a little preposterous to me unless you really need this kind of tool for your profession. I understand the desire of the kids to constantly stay in touch with their buddies, but I think it is also important for them to learn to "live their own life" and appreciate it without depending on the company of their friends. I think it will help them a few years down the road to cope with peer pressures over some matters not particularly desirable. am I being a little too weird and antisocial?
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Old 09-12-2005, 09:31 AM   #25
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I live in a fairly wealthy area. I often stop at the local coffee shop (NOT starbucks!) or arrange to meet friends there for a late afternoon coffee. Nearly EVERY child who is in the place (and they all call in for a coffee or an ice-cream on the way home) have a mobile phone. Some of them are chatting on their mobiles whilst their mother who has presumably just collected her offspring from school, is chatting into hers!

I admit they are handy things, if you happen to do a lot of driving or if you are out of your office a lot of the time, but I hate them! I withstood buying one until a close member of my family was diagnosed with cancer and I needed to be at the end of a telephone. That was a couple of years ago. I bought a 'pay as you go' telephone, and I put a 50 pound credit on the thing, and there's still about 7 pounds worth of credit on it! My family can't believe that use it so seldom. I just don't feel comfortable using it when I'm out and about.
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Old 09-12-2005, 10:26 AM   #26
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I think one of the things that cracks me up is I know parents who actually believe their kids having cell phones IS monitoring them! As if it is impossible for kids to say they're at Mary's house when they're actually at Bob's, that they're at an approved, parent-chaperoned party when in fact they're at a party where the parents are out of town. I have otherwise-sensible parent friends who seem happy to parent their kids blindfolded. Cell phones can be a blessing, but also a curse. It amazes me to see women grocery shopping and consulting a family member at each department. At one stop it'll be hubby -- dear, they don't have Bud, will Schlitz do? To aisles down -- they're out of the Doritos white, will the yellow do? to one of her children. Etc. When they invented cell phones did they extract these women's minds? Suddenly they believe everything their kids tell them (in spite of knowing same kids will lie every time given an opportunity), and can't manage to get through a day's grocery shopping without consulting every member of the family. I had a cell phone when we were on the road so that I could contact my family, specifically my mom who had cancer. when we bought a house, we were so happy to be rid of the darned thing. An 8 year old? I don't think so. Don't some schools forbid cells and pagers in the classroom?
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Old 09-12-2005, 10:38 AM   #27
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Old 09-12-2005, 01:21 PM   #28
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Sorry, Andy... but I was replying to a point! It won't happen again.

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