I'm so sorry Marge......I wish you were close so I could come over and give you a big hug, a shoulder to cry on and a ear to listen.
Its just going to take time..... how long only God knows. No matter your always going to miss him but in time it will get easier although it sure doesn't feel like it now. Your doing the right thing by seeing the doctor, counseling and reaching out to your friends.
What would Paul say to you if he were sitting right in front of you and you told him what you were feeling and experiencing.
I know with the holiday season I miss my loved ones all the more......just not the same without them but ..... I also know that mom, dad and my brother wouldn't want me to feel so down and sad they'd want me to celebrate each day I have here on this earth all the while knowing that they are only a thought away and that even though they aren't visible to me they are with me when I need them and most of all that we will all be together again someday and until then I need to live this life to its fullest and enjoy the time I have here with my loved ones. I try to treasure each day but I still have my down times where the wound in my heart opens back up and the tears start to flow....sometimes its something that reminds me of them and occasionally there's no rhyme or reason why.
Lets hope and pray that by you seeking help your boys will do the same also.
I'll pray for you all. Love ya Marge!
Se non supporta il calore, vattene dalla cucina!