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Old 09-04-2008, 01:07 PM   #1
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Anger Management

I just got this en e-Mail and had to share. Mods, if you deem it to be innapropriate, please delete and I'm sorry.

I did replace some words in the original text.

AC




ANGER MANAGEMENT

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know, instead.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying 'Hello.'

I politely said, 'This is Mike. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?'
Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear 'Get the right phone number! and the phone was slammed down on me.

I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled 'You're an jerk!' and hung up.

I wrote his number down with the word 'jerk' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, 'You're a jerk!'
It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my
therapeutic 'jerk' calling would have to stop.

So, I called his number and said, 'Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?'

He yelled 'NO!' and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and said, 'That's because you're a jerk!' and hung up.

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking Spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a 'For Sale' sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first jerk (whose number I now had on speed dial), I thought that I'd better call the BMW jerk, too.

I asked, 'Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?'
He said, 'Yes, it is.'
I asked, 'Can you tell me where I can see it?'
He said, 'Yes, I live at 34 Oak tree Blvd, in Fairfax . It's a yellow rambler, and the20car's parked right out front.'

I asked, 'What's your name?'
He said, 'My name is Don Hansen.'
I asked, 'When's a good time to catch you, Don?'
He said, 'I'm home every evening after five.'
I said, 'Listen, Don, can I tell you something?'
He said, 'Yes?'
I said, 'Don, you're a jerk!'

Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two jerks to call.

Then I had an idea.... I called jerk #1.
He said, 'Hello.'
I said, 'You're an jerk!' (But I didn't hang up.)
He asked, 'Are you still there?'
I said, 'Yeah.'
He screamed, 'Stop calling me.'
I said, 'Make me.'
He asked, 'Who are you?'
I said, 'Don Hansen.'
He said, 'Yeah? Where do you live?'
I said, '34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, jerk. The yellow rambler with the black Beamer parked out front.'
He said, 'I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers.'

I said, 'Yeah, like I'm really scared, jerk,' and hung up.
Then I called Jerk #2.

When he said, 'Hello?' I said, 'Hello, jerk,'
He yelled, 'If I ever find out who you are...'
I said, 'You'll what?'
He exclaimed, 'I'll kick your butt,'
I answered, 'Well, jerk, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now.'
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, and that I was on my way home to kill my gay lover.

Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down on Oaktree Blvd in Fairfax ..
I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax .
I got there just in time to watch two jerks beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.

Now I feel much better...........

...........Anger management really does work...........!


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Old 09-04-2008, 01:17 PM   #2
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very funny

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Old 09-04-2008, 01:18 PM   #3
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Beautiful, Adillo! An inspired work of art by a creative and vengeful mind! I'm sure it was even funnier with the original "word".



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Old 09-04-2008, 01:29 PM   #4
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Loved it

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Old 09-04-2008, 01:30 PM   #5
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Too funny Adillio Thanks for sharing!!
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Old 09-04-2008, 02:20 PM   #6
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If I thought I could get away with it I would do this every day. It sounds very theraputic.
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Old 09-04-2008, 02:49 PM   #7
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Well, you don't have to be that dramatic, but it helps to be creative.

My wife and I were troubled with a number of calls from a subcontractor thinking we were a lumber supply outlet. Obviously our phone number prefix was different, but the last four numbers were the same.

One night I got a call for lumber and the guy was in a panic. He was on a building crew, his primary supplier was unable to deliver the necessary supplies. He had a full crew of roughing carpenters scheduled to be at the jobsite at 5:00AM.

I simply took the guy's order in detail.

We never got a call from this guy again.
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Old 09-04-2008, 03:02 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chico Buller View Post
Well, you don't have to be that dramatic, but it helps to be creative.

My wife and I were troubled with a number of calls from a subcontractor thinking we were a lumber supply outlet. Obviously our phone number prefix was different, but the last four numbers were the same.

One night I got a call for lumber and the guy was in a panic. He was on a building crew, his primary supplier was unable to deliver the necessary supplies. He had a full crew of roughing carpenters scheduled to be at the jobsite at 5:00AM.

I simply took the guy's order in detail.

We never got a call from this guy again.
So you ruined some guys day (and probably others who he was doing the work for) simply because he dialed the wrong number. I hope others treat you better than you treated that guy.
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Old 09-04-2008, 06:10 PM   #9
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I looked at it this way. The guy was a manager. It was his job to secure business for his owner/boss by doing detailed and timely work.

Not only did he screw up the scheduling of needed supplies, but he jeopardized his company with imprmptu manpower projections and unneeded overtime. Had I actually been a secondary supplier, they were chances that supplies could not be produced in that short span of time.

Would you want to be his boss and cut unnecessary checks to subcontractors just to fix mistakes the guy was hired to prevent?

And what about the end-user and client? Everyone has had a delay in kitchen or bathroom work delaying the date for a move. Is it fair for an innocent party to not have a home because the guy cannot dial a telephone correctly? What about something important, like plumbing or shingles?

My adult job was credit management. My specialty was what are known as "distressed companies." When a business or corporation was failing, it was my job to identify and repair the reasons, be that accounts receiveable or personnel issues.

Had I been on this company's staff, a guy like this would have been fired long before he started to screw up deliveries and endanger clients.

Feel sorry for the guy without a home.
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Old 09-04-2008, 07:26 PM   #10
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I guess you have never made a mistake. Like I said, I hope others treat you better than you treated him.
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