"Discover Cooking, Discuss Life."

Go Back   Discuss Cooking - Cooking Forums > The Back Porch > Off Topic Discussions
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
 
Old 12-22-2006, 08:13 AM   #1
Executive Chef
 
boufa06's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Volos, Greece
Posts: 3,467
Beans in my stomach!!!

Just received this from a good friend. I hope others may enjoy it as much as I did.

One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odor of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans.

All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.

Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call.

The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other leg, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage.

Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable.

When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.

My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not. At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"

I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

__________________

__________________
The proof of the pudding is in the eating!
boufa06 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-22-2006, 09:12 AM   #2
Sous Chef
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 665
So, that wasn't the pulpwood mill I was smelling that warm day in Athens last September?!

If this is a true story, Boufa, I admire you for standing your ground in Volos. I think I'd have 'shifted my legs' right out of town that very night!

I do hope you tried to pass it off as a pre-dinner custom from your native land?
__________________

__________________
XeniA is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-22-2006, 09:28 AM   #3
Executive Chef
 
boufa06's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Volos, Greece
Posts: 3,467
Ayrton, I must confess it was not a true story. In my haste to share with the forum what I consider to be a good joke, I forgot to say that the joke had just come by email from a good friend of mine. I hope I did not mislead you too badly.

Sorry too much ouzo last night!!
__________________
The proof of the pudding is in the eating!
boufa06 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-22-2006, 12:15 PM   #4
Sous Chef
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 665
That's okay Boufa. I smelled a farce right away, I assure you!
__________________
XeniA is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-22-2006, 02:08 PM   #5
Head Chef
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Spain
Posts: 1,167
Very good joke, Boufa; very good pun, Ayrton.
__________________
Snoop Puss is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-22-2006, 03:43 PM   #6
Head Chef
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Southern California
Posts: 2,038
Great joke and whether it is true or not I enjoyed reading it.
__________________

Jill and Jolie
shpj4 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-22-2006, 08:42 PM   #7
Master Chef
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Monroe, Michigan
Posts: 5,912
Send a message via Yahoo to Barb L.
Too Cute, thanks for sharing - could have been so very true !
__________________
Barb L. is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-23-2006, 12:21 AM   #8
Master Chef
 
-DEADLY SUSHI-'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: NW Chicago Burbs'
Posts: 6,070
Send a message via Yahoo to -DEADLY SUSHI-
Tis a good story!
__________________

__________________
-DEADLY SUSHI- is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



» Discuss Cooking on Facebook

Our Communities

Our communities encompass many different hobbies and interests, but each one is built on friendly, intelligent membership.

» More about our Communities

Automotive Communities

Our Automotive communities encompass many different makes and models. From U.S. domestics to European Saloons.

» More about our Automotive Communities

Marine Communities

Our Marine websites focus on Cruising and Sailing Vessels, including forums and the largest cruising Wiki project on the web today.

» More about our Marine Communities


Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:16 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 4
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.