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Old 10-11-2008, 03:22 AM   #1
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Maidrite's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Pageland SC
Posts: 3,114
Red face Bold New Stock Terms ????????

STOCK MARKET TERMS for 2008 and beyond.

CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.

CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.

BULL MARKET -- A short-term random market movement causing an investor
to mistake himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance,
the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband isn't happy.

VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors GOING TO A CUBS GAME as the
market keeps crashing.

BROKER -- What my stock adviser has made me.

STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets
equally between themselves.

FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the

YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per

WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo
@ $240 per share.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a

**PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use!!!

YIKES !!!!!!


If you need a smile, take mine, I'll make a new one.
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Old 10-11-2008, 03:53 AM   #2
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Mackay Queensland Australia
Posts: 719
That's about it Maidrite, there's a lot of angry people around the world, and rightly so

We are happy little Vegemites, happy as can be
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Old 10-11-2008, 06:02 AM   #3
Sous Chef
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Houston TX
Posts: 503
That's funny. Thanks Maidrite!
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