Bold New Stock Terms ????????
STOCK MARKET TERMS for 2008 and beyond.
CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.
CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.
BULL MARKET -- A short-term random market movement causing an investor
to mistake himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance,
the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband isn't happy.
VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors GOING TO A CUBS GAME as the
market keeps crashing.
BROKER -- What my stock adviser has made me.
STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets
equally between themselves.
FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the
YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per
WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo
@ $240 per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a
**PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use!!!
If you need a smile, take mine, I'll make a new one.