Bridal Shower Advice

[Poutine]

I like to give cash for gifts. But I also like to add something else.

The last wedding I went to I bought a picture holder (it was a box with frames for pictures on the outside and inserts with things for pictures on the inside), I put in cash and love poems in where the pictures would go. If we had been somewhere that had a 1 hour photo I would have also included some pictures from the ceremony but we were up in the mountains (beautiful).

For another wedding I crumpled up bills and filled a salad spinner and the card said that this was some "lettuce" to start their lives with.

I think it is nice to give something that they will remember but cash is just so versatile for the couple.

 

[mudbug]

Poutine posted an idea I've heard of here that I thought was rather clever - the "lettuce" in the salad spinner (could also be presented in a salad bowl).

I'm ambivalent about the registry thing. Yes, no couple wants 6 toasters and a garbage can, but "asking" for the most expensive set of china/crystal/silver is extremely tacky, IMO - not to mention the absolute gall of "asking" for something like a 52-inch TV. I do not want to be solicited to participate in the business of financing young couple's highly expensive material aspirations.

Since when did the giving of shower/wedding gifts turn into extortion?

My niece is getting married next month. I sent a Wedgewood hostess serving set for the bridal shower I can't attend. We will be giving her a generous cash gift at the wedding because she has lots of debt from attending the expensive college she went to, but if she wants to spend it on towels or a concert that's up to her.

I just hope she hasn't purchased one of those little bags brides often seem to carry around at the receptions these days to slip the cards full of money into. Might as well tape signs to the backs of the couple that say SHOW ME THE MONEY.

 

[jkath]

Bob, never you mind! It was our decision. We eloped too, so the wedding cost $99.


Okay, back to your regularly scheduled thread..........

 

[mudbug]

jkath, I just erased (cuz I couldn't trust my memory) a post mentioning to Uncle Bob that I believed that was exactly what you did!

 

[StirBlue]

Bob, never you mind! It was our decision. We eloped too, so the wedding cost $99.


Okay, back to your regularly scheduled thread..........

There sure are a lot of people who elope. How far (in miles) must you go to consider it eloping?

 

[jkath]

Miles are not the key. The key is just the two of you getting married without alerting others. You could just go to the local courthouse and say your "I do's".

 

[StirBlue]

Then we have had more than one eloper. We considered my older sister to have eloped because they drove the 293 mi to Mexico. (they remarried in the states later that year) My younger sister and her guy just went to the courthouse one morning.
My guy and I planned to exchange our personal vows on a mountain top in Arizona and later to go to the courthouse. While we were in the mountains, a preacher came along who lived in the area and performed an official marriage ceremony. That was way cool! (he wasn't dressed in his Sunday best, slacks & polo shirt; just walking up to pray)

 

[Amazing324]

I did not have any kind of showers for my first marriage but did for the real thing 2 1/2 years ago. I loved opening the gifts at the shower and at home after the wedding. I registered at a housewares type of store and at a large hardware store. I registered for gifts from $10.00 to $200.00. I got many gifts from my registry and not a duplicate among them, I got funny gifts and antique gifts. I got inexpensive and costly. One thing we really enjoyed was gift cards from the stores where we registered. We so enjoyed the shopping trips. Point being, everyone gave as they wanted. Original ideas if they preferred and the things we had said we wanted for those who are less inspired when shopping for gifts. The love came through on all of them. None of us wants to offend but how can how you give or anything you give to help a couple starting their lives together be a problem. Too many rules for me...... I do tend to be long-winded. Sorry.

 

[StirBlue]

Amazing324: I am glad that you enjoyed your bridal shower. It seems that all this hard work has paid off !!!

I've been invited to a friend's house with a 52" big screen to watch the Super Bowl! That paid off too!

 

[The Z]

Thanks to everyone for your advice. We really appreciate it. The couple IS registered at two stores. I think registry is kind of a strange thing, and I'm not really sure the couple would actually USE everything they scanned into their 'wish list'... As far as WE know they don't enteratain formally, yet their list includes fancy crystal and charger plates and stuff like that.

So, in the end, we decided to go with the gift card thing (from one of the stores at which they are registered). Now THEY can decide if their 'gift' from us will be something that they really want and can use or whether it just looked nice when they were going through the store with the scangun (I guess that's how they do it).

The card will be hand delivered along with a note congratulating them AND expressing our sadness that we will miss the actual wedding .

Thanks again for your advice.

 

[babetoo]

Poutine posted an idea I've heard of here that I thought was rather clever - the "lettuce" in the salad spinner (could also be presented in a salad bowl).

I'm ambivalent about the registry thing. Yes, no couple wants 6 toasters and a garbage can, but "asking" for the most expensive set of china/crystal/silver is extremely tacky, IMO - not to mention the absolute gall of "asking" for something like a 52-inch TV. I do not want to be solicited to participate in the business of financing young couple's highly expensive material aspirations.

Since when did the giving of shower/wedding gifts turn into extortion?

My niece is getting married next month. I sent a Wedgewood hostess serving set for the bridal shower I can't attend. We will be giving her a generous cash gift at the wedding because she has lots of debt from attending the expensive college she went to, but if she wants to spend it on towels or a concert that's up to her.

I just hope she hasn't purchased one of those little bags brides often seem to carry around at the receptions these days to slip the cards full of money into. Might as well tape signs to the backs of the couple that say SHOW ME THE MONEY.

finally someone thinks the same way about these gifts. haven't seen the bags, but have been at weddings where people give money to dance with the bride or groom. i think this is just awkward and tacky.

only give a gift that doesn't strain your budget.

babe

 

[stassie]

I didn't register when we got married. I can see the pro's for doing so, but I like to be surprised!! We had a big wedding, and got some lovely presents. Amazingly, we only doubled up on one thing that mattered - we got two crockpots. Thankfully, I was able to return the second one.

Some people did ask me what we wanted, so I managed to mention some of the things that we really needed.

And we got given money by a number of people. Contrary to what appears to be popular opinion, this was VERY much appreciated. We were just starting out, and there are some things that you just don't get as wedding presents. Coat hangers, pegs, a washing basket... to name a few! And I still look at the presents I bought with the money, and remember the person who gave it to us (i.e. 'Auntie Carolyn's breadmaker' etc).

 

[jpmcgrew]

I think money is very appropriate because the bride will register for things she will never use even though she may believe in their wedded bliss she is going to bake bread etc. I say money with a note saying something about it's for something they didn't get or for a special dinner, rainy day etc down the line after they are married. OMG I'm always so practical. Just had another odd but practical idea how about a CD from the bank that will start them on an investment plan. I know,I know not much fun but better than a toaster but creative. Give them money that will make them money.