"Discover Cooking, Discuss Life."

Go Back   Discuss Cooking - Cooking Forums > The Back Porch > Off Topic Discussions
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
 
Old 11-11-2008, 01:54 PM   #1
Senior Cook
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Paso Robles, CA
Posts: 475
Career questions

Hey guys and gals,

I am at a loss here at work lately. I have been a nanny for years now and I have been with many families. Some were really great and some were awful.

Currently I am working with a family that in my opinion is not appreciative af the work I do around here. My original job description was to provide one on one care for the two year old daughter and to do her laundry. The only other specific requirements were to leave the house how I found it, basically to clean up after myself and the child before I left.

I took onto myself the responsibilities of bathing the child daily, making dinner once a week, making her bed, doing the families laundry if there was time for it etc. I also have been asked to extend my days by 30 minutes which wouldn't be a big deal if I wasn't already working 10+ hour days.

I said yes, because it seems the mother was in a bind and needed the extra help. My problem is this:
1. I am not thanked for the extra work, almost ever. If I empty the dish washer or do an extra load of laundry I never hear a work about it. It's almost as if they were expecting it anyway

2. I am given very little guidance as to how to deal with some of the childs behavioral issues.

3. The family promised me a review after three months (I've been here almost five) and never gave me one. Which means I didnt get a raise either.

After four months I really expected a small raise, especially with the extra work I am doing. Also, the parents are very flip floppy...one week they are beaming with compliments about how well I work with their daughter and the next week I am giving too many time outs and not getting her "chores" done fast enough and the steak I cooked last night is "tough".

I am trying to get used to them one way but they are all over the place. It's confusing and discouraging.

How can I approach them about these issues tactfully? Or should I just start looking for new work? It's hard to come by around here, and if I quit I probably wouldn't get another nanny job. I'd have to go back to office work, or worse...cashier work...

I need advice in a bad way

__________________

__________________
snack_pack85 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-11-2008, 03:29 PM   #2
Chef Extraordinaire
 
babetoo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: escondido, calif. near san diego
Posts: 14,349
i think you need a new gig. start looking and just wait til you find something. it is not fair to you that they expect so much "extra" work. life is to short to spend it in a bad position, job wise.
__________________

__________________
"life isn't about how to survive the storm but how to dance in the rain"
babetoo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-11-2008, 03:35 PM   #3
Assistant Cook
 
foodisfood's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 48
Send a message via AIM to foodisfood Send a message via MSN to foodisfood Send a message via Skype™ to foodisfood
Quote:
Originally Posted by babetoo View Post
i think you need a new gig. start looking and just wait til you find something. it is not fair to you that they expect so much "extra" work. life is to short to spend it in a bad position, job wise.
ahmen.

My mom is a professional nanny and has been for over 5 years. Every time she is miserable with the people (a long as she is not emotionally attached to the kids) she bails. It's not worth being treated poorly, especially when there are plenty of people out there who would appreciate you more than they do. If I were you I would take a stand - tell them you deserve a raise (or at the very least a review) - and if you dont get it, just walk from it.

Good luck with whatever you choose to do!

- Steven J.
__________________
food! yum!
foodisfood is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-11-2008, 03:36 PM   #4
Assistant Cook
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 8
Maybe a daycare or preschool somewhere in your area is hiring. Call some old nanny jobs so you have references ready.
I probably shouldn't talk, we've been here 2 months and I still don't have a job.
__________________
lucky2009 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-11-2008, 03:42 PM   #5
Head Chef
 
GrillingFool's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: usa
Posts: 2,223
I think you should ask them for the review. Prepare your concerns in writing so you can stay unemotional. Be prepared to be fired....
Sounds like you are being treated more like a late teen daughter than a nanny.

Pity Moms can't just be a Mom anymore.
__________________
GrillingFool is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-11-2008, 03:53 PM   #6
Master Chef
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Park Drive Bar/Grill Los Angeles
Posts: 9,643
It depends. Are you working through an agency or are you completely independent? Are you paid as an employee under state law? Are you salaried? Either way, you should let your employer know extra time means additional compensation and that they're aware of state labor laws.
__________________
roadfix is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-11-2008, 03:55 PM   #7
Chef Extraordinaire
 
pacanis's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: NW PA
Posts: 18,751
My honest opinion?

On #2, the behavioral issues? If you are a nanny then shouldn't you know how to handle them? Or are you a babysitter? I think there is more than a fine line that distinguishes professional care with someone that's doing the job without knowing all the things they could be getting into. Just being honest. If they hid something from you then that's different, but if it's just something you don't know about, learn.

My other opinion is that you cannot give anyone anything and expect to be treated like a professional. I too found this out the hard way in my small business. You end up being taken advantage of, especially businesses of a personal nature. I'm not saying you can't be friends, but you should have stuck to your job description, so you have to lay it on the line for them that you are only going to do the original work outlined to you. Unless they want to pay extra.

__________________
Give us this day our daily bacon.
pacanis is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-11-2008, 03:56 PM   #8
Executive Chef
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Collier County, Fl.
Posts: 4,198
Seems like you lost your professionalism and got too familiar/friendly. You'll lose in the end. And it's a business arrangement and should be kept so. It should be reciprical, and in writing what your duties are, and if extras are involved, those conditions. ie: extra money for extra duties, extra (time & 1/2) for extra hours. You need to take back some control.
I would draft a kind of contract, present it, (ask for more $$ if you feel it's warranted) and have each party sign.
This way there's no room for bad feelings or misunderstanding.
In the meantime, start looking. Also, see if there are any "nanny sites" online.
Good luck.
__________________
quicksilver is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-11-2008, 03:57 PM   #9
Senior Cook
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Paso Robles, CA
Posts: 475
Unhappy

Quote:
Originally Posted by GrillingFool View Post
Sounds like you are being treated more like a late teen daughter than a nanny.

Pity Moms can't just be a Mom anymore.

I do feel like I am about to be fired. Lately the mother has asked me to get several extra "chores" done like buying grab bags for the daughters birthday party, going through the childs clothes to see what can be donated, rearranging the toys etc. Well in ten hours I : Take the child to school (get her ready, feed her breakfast, drive her there) depending on what day it is I cook dinner, do the childs laundry, get my activities and lesson plans ready and try to spend sometime with her before lunch,napping, bath time and dinner. WHERE in the worl does she expect me to get the extras done?

But she does. And if it isn't done, boy do I get an ear full. Or just some passive aggressive attitude. She's like this half the time. Then the other half she's very patient and understanding. It's bizzare.
__________________
snack_pack85 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-11-2008, 04:05 PM   #10
Senior Cook
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Paso Robles, CA
Posts: 475
Quote:
Originally Posted by pacanis View Post
My honest opinion?

On #2, the behavioral issues? If you are a nanny then shouldn't you know how to handle them? Or are you a babysitter? I think there is more than a fine line that distinguishes professional care with someone that's doing the job without knowing all the things they could be getting into. Just being honest. If they hid something from you then that's different, but if it's just something you don't know about, learn.

I am in every definition of the word- a nanny. I am not, however- the parent. I cannot discipline the child. That isn't MY job. When she flat out refuses to do the basics (she's almost three, I should let you know) I can only give time outs and explain to the child why the action is inappropriate.

But, the family has asked me to only give timeouts when they think it's appropriate- which is never. Also, NO ONE knows how well a child is going to react to certian "punishments" etc, except the parents. And they aren't helping. This little girl has been refusing meals, throwing tantrums, and hitting her whole life. And the adults she's known her whole life don't stop it. So then I come along and finally say NO, and there's noone else in her life backing me up.

Yes, I have been trained and have experience working with difficult children but usually I have someone (being the parents) on my side. SOME level of consistancy. NONE here.
__________________

__________________
snack_pack85 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



» Discuss Cooking on Facebook

Our Communities

Our communities encompass many different hobbies and interests, but each one is built on friendly, intelligent membership.

» More about our Communities

Automotive Communities

Our Automotive communities encompass many different makes and models. From U.S. domestics to European Saloons.

» More about our Automotive Communities

Marine Communities

Our Marine websites focus on Cruising and Sailing Vessels, including forums and the largest cruising Wiki project on the web today.

» More about our Marine Communities


Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:32 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 4
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.