I have always taught my children when they were old enough, "Remember, you don't want to have to live with the "ifonlies" for the rest of you life." If only I had ..... It came back to haunt me when my sister died.
I heard someone speak a nasty remark about my sister at her wake. It really upset me and I got up and walked out. I was standing in the hall trying to decide if I was going to stay or just walk out. Spike came out after me, and reminded me that I didn't want to live with the "ifonlies". If only I had ignored what I heard and go back in and say my final goodbye to my sister. I would have missed out on saying my final goodbye to her and to let her know how my heart was hurting. My walking out would have given me more "ifonlies" than I had realized.
We all are faced with "ifonlies" in life. Some can be avoided and some can't. But we don't know until it is too late.
So Chief, don't beat yourself up with the "ifonlies". Your friend knows your good heart. He understands.