Christmas Gifts - yes or no.

[DramaQueen]

Several friends and I were having a discussion a few days ago about the state of the economy and how much we all lost. Money is tight, a couple of people in our group have been cut back on their jobs to a 3 days a week and we are all feeling the pinch. The subject came to Christmas gifts. I was surprised at how many of us will cut out most of the gift giving this year. A few people said they were shocked when they got their credit card bill every January and swore they would do less each year. This year they mean it. No one wants to go into debt. They said they finally got smart. My family and I feel the same way, we will buy for the two grandkids and that's it.

How do you feel about cutting back on unecessary gift giving in order to stay out of debt?

 

[pdswife]

We are cutting back this year but it was a decision that we made last Christmas and we're only cutting back for certain people. Also, it's not really for money reasons. We're just tired of all the GREED that goes on during the holidays. We have nephews and neices that get millions of gifts from all the aunts and uncles and grandparents...they don't know what they get or who anything comes from and we have never heard any kind of thank you from the kids or the parents...what's the point?? We've decided to get ONE gift for the family. With my mom... it's always been some kind of contest to see who could out "buy" the other.. we'd end up buying all these silly stupid things that neither of us wanted or ever used. Sort of a "I bought more so I love you more" kind of thing. I told her that I wasn't going to do it this year. I've always bought Paul's brothers and sister in-law gifts and as mentioned above I'm not doing that this year....

Paul and I will will spend the same or more on each other and we'll also give a lot to David and his girlfriend.

 

[DramaQueen]

I owned several retail stores and because I carried merchandise that could be used as Christmas gifts, can't tell you how many times I heard things like: "I HAVE to buy Jane something. I can't stand her but I gotta buy something." or "I'm so broke but I have to buy something for my hairdresser." I wanted to ask "what is your hairdresser buying you?

You are so right about the greed. I think we've lost sight of what Christmas giving really means and we go into debt cuz we just don't get it. Then we resent it. Is this really Christmas Spirit? Frankly, I wish people would bake me their best cookies, or knit a scarf or sew something useful for me. I appreciate that kind of stuff far more. My next door neighbor is now on a tight budget since her husband died but she always wants to give me something. She makes the most incredible strawberry jam I've ever had and gives me 2 jars every year. Better than any store bought, wrong size, ugly color, probably will return gift.

 

[Uncle Bob]

Immediate family only.... Not cutting back.... No debt for 35+ years....Simple Gifts

 

[MexicoKaren]

Since we moved down here, we have basically stopped exchanging Christmas gifts with people in the states because of the shipping difficulties. I can easily order a gift for someone in the US online and have it delivered. They can't do the same, however, and if they ship something to us, we end up paying 100% duty on it, i.e., for a $50 gift, we pay $50 in import duty. I have begged people not to send us stuff, but some persist. For my son in China, I just send money via Paypal. My daughter usually joins us for Christmas, so no problem there. DH and I usually pick out something for the house - usually a piece of art we have been hungering for - and buy it together as a gift for each other. This freedom from gifts is very liberating and allows us to focus on the celebration. And the FOOD.

 

[deelady]

I couldn't agree with you guys more! And Drama Queen
"You are so right about the greed. I think we've lost sight of what Christmas giving really means and we go into debt cuz we just don't get it. Then we resent it. Is this really Christmas Spirit? Frankly, I wish people would bake me their best cookies, or knit a scarf or sew something useful for me. I appreciate that kind of stuff far more."
that is exactly how I feel, and try to do myself. If the receiver didn't appreciate my effort then at least I didn't go into debt in the process!
I was very shocked that with the very large box of gifts as well as gift cards so they could also buy what they like, that I shipped across country to family, I did not get a single thank you or even acknowledgement of receiving the gifts! What happen to people teaching their kids manners, let alone the parents doing it themselves!! Kinda takes the joy out of giving...

 

[pdswife]

Can't wait until we move there Karen so that we can join you in that tradition!!

 

[In the Kitchen]

since my divorce, we don't buy any Christmas gifts. It isOnly my family now and they know the meaning of Christmas. When I was small my brothers and sister only got orange and apple from church and not even a tree. We looked forward to Christmas because the church always had big tree that was decorated. I truly don't feel like I was left out or missed anything. But when I had family I did want them to get something from Santa Claus but that was only till they got into grade school. After that Santa Claus never stopped at our house anymore.

 

[jabbur]

In my husbands family we only exchange gifts between the grandkids. They "draw" names but really Grandma keeps a chart so that each year it's someone different. Now that the youngest is in high school and everyone else is college or on their own, it's a bit funny to sit and watch them all open gift cards! We limit it to $50 a child. We each have 2 kids so it's only $100 for each family. My side we draw names among the adults and have a $100 limit and we buy for all the little kids. Once you reach 21 or finish school, your name goes into the adult draw. I try to keep the kids gifts to around $35-$40. I get something little and consumable for the elderly lady who babysat my kids when they were little. That's it. I quit sending out cards two years ago. If I decide to anything else, it's making cookies or crackerjack or candy.

 

[VeraBlue]

Any gift giving that has a propensity to put you into debt should immediately cease. That seems rather simple a question.

Then there are the gifts that simply cut into your disposable income, and not in a good way. Most people have some play money left at the end of the month; money that can be used for non essentials, like gifts for yourself or others. If you find that gifts you are giving to peole simply because you feel compelled to are taking a toll, then cut those out, too.

Unless you are in the upper class of citizens (those who are suddenly worried they'll have to start paying more taxes after november) this is not the time to be giving gifts indiscriminately. It's been time to rethink the entire idea of mountains of gifts beneath a tree. It's time to consider who you really want to honour with a special gift, either handmade or store bought...but you have to start giving to those who truly deserve a gift. It doesn't make much sense to make your kids go without seeing a movie in January because you gave gifts to the hairdresser.

We all want to be generous to those we care about, but it's a new world out there now. The idea of 'give till it hurts' just doesn't make sense. YOu have to give only what you can, and just what you care to. Any more and you're just throwing it away.

There are countless ways to be cheerful and full of holiday spirit without breaking the bank, let alone going into debt. Words of thought and caring cost absolutely nothing.

 

[ChefJune]

I give few purchased gifts to anyone, and it's been that way for several years. A box of homemade truffles or cookies, a loaf of holiday bread is appreciated as much as anything I could buy my friends.

For the children in my life, I give them gifts for birthdays and at other "un-birthdays" when I see something I know they will love. At Christmas there is always too much for kids to appreciate everything they receive.

 

[Barbara L]

We have never allowed ourselves (with one possible exception--never again) to go in debt to buy gifts of any kind. Throughout the year, if we see something someone will like, and we have the money, we buy it then. We have gifts for most of our family now. James and I always buy or make something for each other. Sometimes it is something nice (like my jewelry armoire a few years ago), and sometimes it is very inexpensive (like two years ago when we got "Mom" and "Dad" grab bags at the Dollar Tree. It was all we could afford that year, and it was fun seeing what was in the grab bags. We will probably make that a regular part of Christmas from now on, even if we can ever afford to buy nice Christmas gifts.

Barbara

 

[JohnL]

This year Mary and I are cutting back. We're not exchanging gifts with each other due to unexpected expenses. We're just taking care of the grandkids, nieces and nephews. The grown kids will get something small and thoughtful.

 

[Fisher's Mom]

There are countless ways to be cheerful and full of holiday spirit without breaking the bank, let alone going into debt. Words of thought and caring cost absolutely nothing.

You said it perfectly, Vera! Because I have so many kids, I told friends and family years ago that my gift to them was never having to buy Christmas gifts for me and mine. We give each other gifts of time or home made things and it works out so well. I never want anyone to have to struggle to pay for gifts for my family and I appreciate not having to do the same. It makes the holidays such a pleasure.

Of course, I buy for my children and we always budget an equal amount for someone in need. That's been good for my children through the years and I think it helps them keep things in perspective.

 

[Barbara L]

I give few purchased gifts to anyone, and it's been that way for several years. A box of homemade truffles or cookies, a loaf of holiday bread is appreciated as much as anything I could buy my friends...

Some people seem to be embarrassed to give things they made. I think part of that is that that particular skill (sewing, baking, candy or jam making, etc.) comes so naturally to them that they don't see it as a big deal. However, those skills are becoming a dying art, and most people that I know love to receive gifts their friends made. Just watch their faces when they open it--they are often in awe of your "magical" skills! I feel fortunate to have some skills in sewing, baking, and a couple other areas. I am also in awe of others' talents when they make something for me.

I didn't address the other part of the question. We give to our daughters, our grandkids, our son-in-law, my dad, my sister, my best friend, her husband, and their kids. We also usually buy for a friend of James's in Iowa. We send cards to a lot of people though. If we had to cut anyone from the list because of money, the kids would still get something, especially our grandkids. I will admit, there have been a few years that we had gifts for everyone but not the money to ship them. Nancy and the kids have gotten their gifts as late as April or May! We keep in touch regularly by phone and computer though, and that is a gift in itself (one I love getting!).

Barbara

 

[MexicoKaren]

There are obvious and desperate needs all around us here, and lots of opportunities to make a difference with relatively small amounts of money. Our disposable income is currently dedicated to help build a children's shelter here in Bucerias, especially now, because a very generous local architect (Mexican) is matching every donation until the end of the year. A very good gift is a charitable donation is someone else's name - almost any charity will do that for you, and send a nice acknowledgement to the recipient. Food banks are good candidates for charitable efforts right now, for example....their shelves are almost empty.

 

[Fisher's Mom]

Some people seem to be embarrassed to give things they made. I think part of that is that that particular skill (sewing, baking, candy or jam making, etc.) comes so naturally to them that they don't see it as a big deal. However, those skills are becoming a dying art, and most people that I know love to receive gifts their friends made. Just watch their faces when they open it--they are often in awe of your "magical" skills! I feel fortunate to have some skills in sewing, baking, and a couple other areas. I am also in awe of others' talents when they make something for me.
Barbara

That's such a good point, Barbara. Sometimes people take for granted the skills they have and forget that others may not have the same talents. I love sewing for others and I am thrilled when someone bakes or cooks for me. One of the gifts my daughter remembers most was one year when I re-tiled her bathroom floor! She still talks about it.

 

[deelady]

So true MexicoKaren!!

How sweet Fishers Mom!And how origional!!

 

[Barbara L]

There are obvious and desperate needs all around us here, and lots of opportunities to make a difference with relatively small amounts of money. Our disposable income is currently dedicated to help build a children's shelter here in Bucerias, especially now, because a very generous local architect (Mexican) is matching every donation until the end of the year. A very good gift is a charitable donation is someone else's name - almost any charity will do that for you, and send a nice acknowledgement to the recipient. Food banks are good candidates for charitable efforts right now, for example....their shelves are almost empty.

I agree. We always try to help someone out at Christmas (and other times as well. Giving some of your time at your local homeless shelter can be very rewarding. They can always use people to serve food and tallk with the people (they need that as much as they need food--possibly more).

Also, my nephew really loved whales and wolves, so one year we "adopted" a whale for him, and another year a wolf. He got updates on them, and much of the money (I hope!--it was supposed to) went to help whales and wolves.

Barbara

 

[smoke king]

This discussion comes up around our house every year, and like most people, everyone gets caught up in the "spirit"(?) of the season and overspends.

Every year I make the same suggestion, and every year it is vetoed. Since its the thought that counts, why not really put some thought into it and put a ridiculously low $ cap on gifts-say 5 or 10$?

Anyone can impress you with an extravagant gift, but it really takes some thought to impress with a 5$ one.

Just my opinion