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Old 01-25-2008, 07:55 PM   #1101
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Dove Im very very sorry. Im SO sorry to read what happened. Its too difficult to express this over a forum. Typed words do not equal a hug. But if they could I would be giving you one right now. Your heart is a kind and tender one.
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Old 01-26-2008, 12:08 AM   #1102
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We are all doing the best we can..Sandie is still in the numb, disbelief stage. I pray she accepts what has happened and realizes that life goes on. It will never be easy but we can't change what has happened. My heart is still breaking (our hearts) but as I said...we can't change anything.
Thank you everyone.
Love you all
Marge
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Old 01-26-2008, 12:17 AM   #1103
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What stage are you in Marge? There are so many stages of grief, and many of us have gone through them at various points in time, and in our own time. Your right, you cannot change anything that has happened, but you can look ahead, day by day, and that's all anyone can do.
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Old 01-26-2008, 12:26 AM   #1104
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I think I am still in the stage of "Why?"..
I still have anxiety, I have a difficult time falling asleep. I have meds for both but take Xnax (sp..zanax) when I have too.
It is hard to pin down "what stage" I just feel like "if I didn't have my son Kevin, it wouldn't matter if I was here or not"
Life is lonesome even when I am with friends...
Marge
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Old 01-26-2008, 12:39 AM   #1105
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"Why" is a difficult stage, because there is no answer. What you are experiencing with anxiety is normal. I prefer the "why" stage, rather than the "disbelief" stage that Sandie is experiencing though. Your ahead of Sandie in terms of acceptance, so you may need to help her out.
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Old 01-26-2008, 03:53 PM   #1106
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We are as metal, forged in the fire of adversity. As we go through life, we learn to solve problems, to experience all emotions, to feel pain, and to feel joy. We love our family members, and experience the grief felt when one is lost to us. And after all is said and done, we are tempered by the adveristies of life into a something far stronger than the strongest steel. We come to understand that we are not the center of the universe, but that we are the children of our creator, and that life in mortality is just a small part of life. We beging to understand the power of faith, and hope, and of perservering when you just don't want to get out of bed. We become truely, our Father's Children.

Sandie's life is now more difficult, as she has to rely more on her own talents to raise her children. There may be another man who can fill the role of father and husband in her life, and in her children's lives. It may be that you become a more important part of rearing your grandchildren. I don't know the answers. But I do know that you and Sandie are not abandoned, but that Haevenly Father is helping you even as I write this post.

Like you, I hope that your DIL will come to understand these things. And I pray for the best for you and your family.

Seeeeeya; Goodweed of the North
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Old 01-27-2008, 08:15 AM   #1107
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I'm so sorry for your loss. I have not spent much time here and then was away for several months, just now coming back to the computer. I started to read this whole thread, but then came to the last. I have lost loved ones close to me and time is the best healer there is. Friends and the wonderful support they give, loving warm words, spending time with family and cherishing the moments together, remembering the wonderful things of our lost ones - they are all good things to have at this time. I will be thinking of you, sending you comforting thoughts.
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Old 01-28-2008, 01:15 AM   #1108
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Goodweed...My grandsons are almost 20 and 24 tears old going on 15....They both need to pull their head out of the sand and help their Mom.

LeeAnn, thank you for your post.
Marge
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Old 01-28-2008, 07:20 PM   #1109
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dove View Post
Goodweed...My grandsons are almost 20 and 24 tears old going on 15....They both need to pull their head out of the sand and help their Mom.

LeeAnn, thank you for your post.
Marge
Even in grief Marge, you are a quick witted woman I read your statement as humorous, but also as genuine as in your grandsons really do need to pull their heads out of the sand (good way of putting that). My goodness, at their age they need to do a lot for Sandie, they are grown men.
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Old 01-28-2008, 07:47 PM   #1110
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dove View Post
Goodweed...My grandsons are almost 20 and 24 tears old going on 15....They both need to pull their head out of the sand and help their Mom.

LeeAnn, thank you for your post.
Marge
Sorry Marge. I didn't know how old they were. Indeed, I do understand the concept of "24 going on 15". At that age, they need to be a strength to both you and Sandie.

I still hope and pray that Sandie will overcome her greif quickly and show the strength that you exhibit. You are not only loved around here, but respected as well.

Seeeeeeeya; Goodweed of the North
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