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Old 05-03-2016, 12:55 AM   #11
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Originally Posted by Cooking Goddess View Post
... I can still hear my boss, Helen, repeat "use the mute button before you start swearing" to all of us in our monthly review sessions!
OH MY GAWD!

But wait, I also worked for a number of years in the Tourism Industry as well ...
now think about that one for a minute!
In Hawaii, a huge travel destination, right?
[insert your worst travel nightmare here, I've got a million of `em]
"I am so sorry Sir, but the aircraft's doors are locked and they're next in line for take off, no, I truly can not bring the plane back to the gate so that you can board."
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Old 05-03-2016, 01:48 AM   #12
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I can think of a mute button for some customers ...

People are nuts!
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Old 05-03-2016, 07:48 AM   #13
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Please do not check out and discover you don't have enough money to pay for your items! Then please don't start deciding which items you really don't need, having them deducted from the total and letting your unsupervised kids run amuck while holding up the line!
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Old 05-03-2016, 09:13 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CrazyCatLady View Post
I got so frustrated one day last year I came home, sat down, and wrote this:

As you know, I'm a customer service manager at Walmart. While 95% of you shoppers are absolutely delightful and brighten my day just by walking in the door, the other 5% of you need some ... refining. This letter is for that 5%.

Dear Walmart Shoppers,

While I am glad to see you and greet you with a smile, do not think I will put up with certain lousy behaviors and habits. Those belong at home.

1. Please put the phone down when you're conducting business at the service desk or the register. First of all, it's rude. Second, I'd rather not hear you cussing out your boyfriend and dropping the f-bomb, and third, when I ask you a question, yelling "I'm on the @#$%&!! phone, b****!!" at me is not the point.

2. The bag carousel is not a playground for your children. It's dangerous and annoying. Please do us all a favor and duct-tape your unruly monsters to the bottom of your buggy.

3. Please understand the self-checkouts are exactly that. Self-checkouts. No, my cashiers are not going to do it for you. They have seven other registers to watch and to be very honest, if you really want to know, no, you aren't that important.

4. If an item rings up at a higher price than you claim, calling me names and blaming me for the discrepancy is not going to make someone come any faster to do your price check for you. Just saying.

5. The speedy checkouts do not have signs on them that say, "Twenty Items or More." The signs say, "Twenty Items or Less!" During last year's store remodel, this prompted me to suggest having an automatic trapdoor in front of these that open up and swallow you on item #21.

6. We ask to see your ID if you look under 40 for alcohol and tobacco purchases. That is a North Carolina state law and is not our way of annoying you. We will especially ask you for ID when for the boys, you have no facial hair, your voices haven't dropped yet, and for the girls, you're not even in a trainer bra yet. Please be aware of this.

7. We sincerely appreciate our shoppers bringing their own reusable grocery bags, and we are very skilled at packing these exactly the way you desire. However, flinging your bags at us and yelling, "Pack 'em! And do it right!!" is highly likely to result in a couple of broken eggs and a hole through your bread. Also, we don't do bugs. Seeing ants and roaches scurrying out of your reusable bags will not prompt us to touch them; therefore, you get the plastic bags and don't bother arguing about it.

8. And for the last time, dearest shoppers, Walmart does not refund items bought at Target, Kmart, Belk's, or any other store. I can't stress this enough.

9. We do not ad-match used items sold on Ebay. That IPhone 6 you've chosen is brand new; the one on Ebay is used and the screen is completely shattered, and you're absolutely not getting a brand-new IPhone 6 for $75.00.

10. Any product that comes into direct contact with bodily fluids is definitely not returnable. Please refrain from returning used pregnancy tests because they were wrong.

11. You might think returning items you claim are unopened will result in us taking your word for it. That's not our policy; we open all boxes and stuffing your husband's old drill into a new box and trying to get a refund on the new drill only makes you look rather ridiculous.

12. If you've put a bigger engine into your truck and the battery you bought two years ago won't fit now, no, we can't exchange it even with a receipt. Please don't even try.

13. Calling us and ordering a MoneyGram over the phone with a credit or debit card number is an exercise in futility. How do we know it's your card? We know this is a scam. Think about it.

14. Speaking of credit and debit cards, when your card is declined, no, it's not our financial system at fault. There are several reasons why this happens, and it's up to you to resolve the issue. We will not call your bank or credit card company, and we are unable to "turn a key" into the register to force the system accept it.

15. Please don't bring your spider monkeys, bearded dragons, and snakes into the store. These are definitely not service animals and we're not convinced, much less impressed.

16. Although Walmart doesn't have a dress policy for its customers, during the summer, please leave a little something to the imagination. It cuts down on the nausea. Oh...and coming into the store in your pajamas isn't very attractive either.

17. Our door greeters check receipts for a reason. Yelling "Racism!", "Discrimination!", or "I'm being attacked!" seriously doesn't work out real well for you. There are things called cameras all over the store, including the entrances.

18. We understand that some of you have health issues, and we're sorry you do. No one likes health issues, and we seriously care about you. However, showing us your colostomy bag and all its contents isn't necessary. Believe me, we'll take your word for it.

19. Teens joyriding on the MartCarts is also unnecessary. They are not toys and not to be used for playing bumper cars. They are there for folks with physical disabilities and we don't think you're cute and we will take them away from you.

20. Last but definitely not least, when we're on registers and closing it, cleaning it, and collecting the returns with the "Lane Closed" sign out and the light off, don't come flying up and start putting your stuff on the belt saying, "You're opening, right?" and get mad at us when we say, "No, I'm sorry, I'm not open." Seriously...what part of the "Lane Closed" sign and the light off did you not get?

We hope this letter will help you work better with us, and thank you for shopping at Walmart.

Sincerely,
CrazyCatLady

Customer Service Manager
"We ask to see your ID if you look under 40 for alcohol and tobacco purchases. That is a North Carolina state law " Really? 40 years old? Crumbs!
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Old 05-03-2016, 09:20 AM   #15
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Everyone should be compelled to work in a store over Christmas and the January sales. (Perhaps it could be in the last year of school.)

I learned to keep my temper when I worked in Marks and Spencer in the Christmas vac when I was a student. I would never knowingly be cross with or rude to a shop assistant after that experience!
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Old 05-03-2016, 10:18 AM   #16
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Then there's the corner drug store where I worked when I was in high school. This was 1963. When I opened the register, I had $35 worth of change. The guy comes up the the counter and asks for a pack of Camels.... one 25 cent pack of cigarettes.... and hands me a $100 bill.

In 6 months working there that was the only time I ever saw anything bigger than a twenty. Then he got grumpy with me when I sent him back to the pharmacy to see the owner because I couldn't change it for him.
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Old 05-03-2016, 08:04 PM   #17
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Been in Retail for about 25 years and this rings so true!

Since my store issued earpiece communicators to everyone, I'm amazed that pretty much every day the customer service associates have to deal with someone trying to scam them.

Last week a lady brought back a squash in an advanced state of decay. She handed over her receipt with the date conveniently and neatly torn off. So the CSM looks up the transaction, and wouldn't you know this receipt was less than a week old and the squash weighed significantly more than the one in the bag. She was demanding that we honor double her money back. Well needless to say she didn't.
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Old 05-03-2016, 08:54 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CraigC View Post
Please do not check out and discover you don't have enough money to pay for your items! Then please don't start deciding which items you really don't need, having them deducted from the total and letting your unsupervised kids run amuck while holding up the line!
No kidding! Why don't people keep track of their finances and figure this stuff out before even getting into the car?

We're on a budget, and I make sure I have enough for what we need.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mad Cook View Post
"We ask to see your ID if you look under 40 for alcohol and tobacco purchases. That is a North Carolina state law " Really? 40 years old? Crumbs!
Tell me about it. The last time anyone asked me for any kind of card, it was my AARP card. You know what's bad about that?

I have one.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mad Cook View Post
Everyone should be compelled to work in a store over Christmas and the January sales. (Perhaps it could be in the last year of school.)

I learned to keep my temper when I worked in Marks and Spencer in the Christmas vac when I was a student. I would never knowingly be cross with or rude to a shop assistant after that experience!
Absolutely! Or like our daughter did; through college, she worked weekend nights in a Waffle House in the middle of the bar district.

Quote:
Originally Posted by RPCookin View Post
Then there's the corner drug store where I worked when I was in high school. This was 1963. When I opened the register, I had $35 worth of change. The guy comes up the the counter and asks for a pack of Camels.... one 25 cent pack of cigarettes.... and hands me a $100 bill.

In 6 months working there that was the only time I ever saw anything bigger than a twenty. Then he got grumpy with me when I sent him back to the pharmacy to see the owner because I couldn't change it for him.
There are words for people like that, but I'd rather have "Sous Chef" under my screen name than "Banned User."

Quote:
Originally Posted by bakechef View Post
Been in Retail for about 25 years and this rings so true!

Since my store issued earpiece communicators to everyone, I'm amazed that pretty much every day the customer service associates have to deal with someone trying to scam them.

Last week a lady brought back a squash in an advanced state of decay. She handed over her receipt with the date conveniently and neatly torn off. So the CSM looks up the transaction, and wouldn't you know this receipt was less than a week old and the squash weighed significantly more than the one in the bag. She was demanding that we honor double her money back. Well needless to say she didn't.
Oh ... wow, just wow. A squash. **Sigh.**

Sunday at the service desk a guy tried to return his 5-year-old LG TV in a brand-new Samsung box ... with the receipt for the Samsung.

Really? If I'm going to refund someone $800, I'd better know what's in that dang box!
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Old 05-03-2016, 10:18 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaneohegirlinaz View Post
OH MY GAWD!

But wait, I also worked for a number of years in the Tourism Industry as well ...
now think about that one for a minute!
In Hawaii, a huge travel destination, right?
[insert your worst travel nightmare here, I've got a million of `em]
"I am so sorry Sir, but the aircraft's doors are locked and they're next in line for take off, no, I truly can not bring the plane back to the gate so that you can board."
I worked for two months up in Manoa Valley as one of the Little People of Hawaii. I am lucky I am not bald today from all the head rubbing for good luck. That was all I could take. Dodging outreaching hands, please don't do that, (in spite of my wearing a hat) I am sorry, you are not allowed to do that. Along with other requests and remarks. The day when one woman would not honor my request, I finally told her I had head lice. That is when I knew I had to quit before I resorted to and used the language of the streets I grew up in.
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Old 05-04-2016, 12:22 AM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CrazyCatLady View Post
I got so frustrated one day last year I came home, sat down, and wrote this:

As you know, I'm a customer service manager at Walmart. While 95% of you shoppers are absolutely delightful and brighten my day just by walking in the door, the other 5% of you need some ... refining. This letter is for that 5%.

Dear Walmart Shoppers,

While I am glad to see you and greet you with a smile, do not think I will put up with certain lousy behaviors and habits. Those belong at home.

1. Please put the phone down when you're conducting business at the service desk or the register. First of all, it's rude. Second, I'd rather not hear you cussing out your boyfriend and dropping the f-bomb, and third, when I ask you a question, yelling "I'm on the @#$%&!! phone, b****!!" at me is not the point.

2. The bag carousel is not a playground for your children. It's dangerous and annoying. Please do us all a favor and duct-tape your unruly monsters to the bottom of your buggy.

3. Please understand the self-checkouts are exactly that. Self-checkouts. No, my cashiers are not going to do it for you. They have seven other registers to watch and to be very honest, if you really want to know, no, you aren't that important.

4. If an item rings up at a higher price than you claim, calling me names and blaming me for the discrepancy is not going to make someone come any faster to do your price check for you. Just saying.

5. The speedy checkouts do not have signs on them that say, "Twenty Items or More." The signs say, "Twenty Items or Less!" During last year's store remodel, this prompted me to suggest having an automatic trapdoor in front of these that open up and swallow you on item #21.

6. We ask to see your ID if you look under 40 for alcohol and tobacco purchases. That is a North Carolina state law and is not our way of annoying you. We will especially ask you for ID when for the boys, you have no facial hair, your voices haven't dropped yet, and for the girls, you're not even in a trainer bra yet. Please be aware of this.

7. We sincerely appreciate our shoppers bringing their own reusable grocery bags, and we are very skilled at packing these exactly the way you desire. However, flinging your bags at us and yelling, "Pack 'em! And do it right!!" is highly likely to result in a couple of broken eggs and a hole through your bread. Also, we don't do bugs. Seeing ants and roaches scurrying out of your reusable bags will not prompt us to touch them; therefore, you get the plastic bags and don't bother arguing about it.

8. And for the last time, dearest shoppers, Walmart does not refund items bought at Target, Kmart, Belk's, or any other store. I can't stress this enough.

9. We do not ad-match used items sold on Ebay. That IPhone 6 you've chosen is brand new; the one on Ebay is used and the screen is completely shattered, and you're absolutely not getting a brand-new IPhone 6 for $75.00.

10. Any product that comes into direct contact with bodily fluids is definitely not returnable. Please refrain from returning used pregnancy tests because they were wrong.

11. You might think returning items you claim are unopened will result in us taking your word for it. That's not our policy; we open all boxes and stuffing your husband's old drill into a new box and trying to get a refund on the new drill only makes you look rather ridiculous.

12. If you've put a bigger engine into your truck and the battery you bought two years ago won't fit now, no, we can't exchange it even with a receipt. Please don't even try.

13. Calling us and ordering a MoneyGram over the phone with a credit or debit card number is an exercise in futility. How do we know it's your card? We know this is a scam. Think about it.

14. Speaking of credit and debit cards, when your card is declined, no, it's not our financial system at fault. There are several reasons why this happens, and it's up to you to resolve the issue. We will not call your bank or credit card company, and we are unable to "turn a key" into the register to force the system accept it.

15. Please don't bring your spider monkeys, bearded dragons, and snakes into the store. These are definitely not service animals and we're not convinced, much less impressed.

16. Although Walmart doesn't have a dress policy for its customers, during the summer, please leave a little something to the imagination. It cuts down on the nausea. Oh...and coming into the store in your pajamas isn't very attractive either.

17. Our door greeters check receipts for a reason. Yelling "Racism!", "Discrimination!", or "I'm being attacked!" seriously doesn't work out real well for you. There are things called cameras all over the store, including the entrances.

18. We understand that some of you have health issues, and we're sorry you do. No one likes health issues, and we seriously care about you. However, showing us your colostomy bag and all its contents isn't necessary. Believe me, we'll take your word for it.

19. Teens joyriding on the MartCarts is also unnecessary. They are not toys and not to be used for playing bumper cars. They are there for folks with physical disabilities and we don't think you're cute and we will take them away from you.

20. Last but definitely not least, when we're on registers and closing it, cleaning it, and collecting the returns with the "Lane Closed" sign out and the light off, don't come flying up and start putting your stuff on the belt saying, "You're opening, right?" and get mad at us when we say, "No, I'm sorry, I'm not open." Seriously...what part of the "Lane Closed" sign and the light off did you not get?

We hope this letter will help you work better with us, and thank you for shopping at Walmart.

Sincerely,
CrazyCatLady
Customer Service Manager
I know the people on retailhellunderground.com would post this on their site. Maybe you could send it to them. All the retail slaves who read the stories there would really appreciate it.

I spent four happy (!) years at 7-11, three of those years were spent working grave. I feel your pain.

I should mention that occasionally we'd have the early morning customer give us a hundred dollar bill to pay for a 69Ę cup of coffee - at 6am. They knew we couldn't break it and usually did this because they expected a free cup of coffee. We used to hand them back the money with one hand and grab the coffee with the other. And then pour it down the sink.
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