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Old 06-25-2008, 12:58 PM   #11
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Will read these after my bath cause expecting a phone call and have to concentrate on that for now. Want to post a few things though.

  • Mark only one day at a time in your minds' calendar. Today is the only day you need to worry about getting through.
  • Read this one thing and think on it.
  • Drink water, 1/2 cup, every time you feel blue, there are studies about that.
  • Take a power nap for 10 minutes, where you close your eyes, you're alone with no noise, where you can lull off.
  • Try to look up. Looking up gives you a feeling of positivity, not negativity. The sky is up there, the clouds are up there, the birds are up there. Looking down can make you feel down and appear down.
  • Sometimes looking at your own beautiful set of eyes in a mirror, for at least one minute, without looking away, lets you see the beauty that lies within. It also provides self assurance and because you're looking at 'you', it gives a feeling of "I know I can do this".
  • Pump up or add to, the color of your vegetables and fruits.
  • "Be not therefore anxious for the morrow: for the morrow will be anxious for itself."

...Trials travel best when you're taking the transportation known as prayer...SLRC
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Old 06-25-2008, 01:04 PM   #12
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Saphellae, I know this will be hard for you, but we will support you. You really need to make yourself focus on things in smaller chunks. It will help. Go one day at a time if you have to, or if that is too overwhelming break it down further into hours. PM me if you want to talk and we can get on chat or IM each other. DON'T sabotage your new position by not focussing on your job though. Work hard sweetie, we're behind you.

You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. Robin Williams
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Old 06-25-2008, 01:22 PM   #13
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LEFSE, thank you. I know that I will be checking back on this thread daily when I move, even before I move.

Alix... your words are making me cry!! Thank you so much for your offer of support. You have a kind heart and we are all so lucky to have you around.
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Old 06-25-2008, 01:22 PM   #14
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I think people are too quick to declare them selves depressed, well if you are already depressed then of course you canít succeed.

But I tell you what: you are NOT depressed! You are simply upset, you miss him, you not used to be by your self, but you are NOT depressed. Now you have room to get really upset like a half a year from now or so, but even then youíll have ways before real depression will kick in.

Now that we figure out that you are not even really upset, just a little bit, letís figure out what to do about your new work. You hate going home to empty house, you have all this extra time that you are rather not to be at home. Great, use it to get familiar with your new job, use it to adopt at work faster, your boss doesnít even have to pay you for the over time youíd be working next couple of month until you get into the rhythm and environment of the new position, make sure to tell your boss that.
Now instead of failing you are on the A list with the new boss, he sees how hard you are trying, what a wonderful new employee you are, he is so happy he hired you, he says heíll be looking into giving you a rise(sp?) earlier than he originally planned. Now all this encouragement at new work makes you feel even better about your decision of moving and taking new position. You are the happy person. A little bit sad, but definitely not depressed or anything like that.

Life is good.
You are what you eat.
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Old 06-25-2008, 01:33 PM   #15
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I took a job in Johannesburg (about 2 hours flight from Cape Town) 10 years ago - it was a 6 month contract and a great career opportunity. I absolutely dreaded leaving my home, Adrienne, my friends and family. If I think now - that month before leaving was actually more stressful than the time away (not that it was easy). It is often the fear of the unknown that's the worst. You'll do fine ! ! !
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Old 06-25-2008, 01:37 PM   #16
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Thanks Charlie, you helped me see the ways that I can succeed in my job while Nick is here.

I agree Tanya (you have the same name as I do) that the time before you leave, when you KNOW you'll be leaving and you think up the worst scenario possible when you do leave.. is the absolute worst. It will get better and I will at least be able to come back on weekends. I am scared of the unknown that I don't know how long it will take him to join me. It could be 3 months. It could be 6. We just don't know.
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Old 06-25-2008, 01:54 PM   #17
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Pampering yourself always makes you feel a bit better. Actually that sounds like a good idea for me! I do hope you start feeling perkier soon!! Keep smiling... your pretty face looks great with a smile!
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Old 06-25-2008, 01:55 PM   #18
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You are too sweet, Sattie. I'm going to step away from the computer for a couple of hours and get pretty, and make dinner.
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Old 06-25-2008, 02:03 PM   #19
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Nice to see such kind words of support.... and good advice from Charlie - put yourself into action and then you won't have time to entertain any insecurity you might have had... My father's favorite poem, and I believe the one thing of value he left to me... is called All This Shall Pass Away, by Theodore Tilton... if you have the time, paste this link.... very powerful message. Elfinspell: Theodore Tilton, All Things Shall Pass Away, poem from The Bibliophile Library of Literature, Art, & Rare Manuscripts; Vol. XVIII, 19th Century, English Poetry full text, Literature, non-fiction, (TiltonAllThings) online text

Good luck in your new adventures! Blessings... pot clanger
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Old 06-25-2008, 03:15 PM   #20
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Hi, I don't know if this will help, but DH and I were living apart for sometime, in different counties, and we tried to look on it as exciting. That whole thrill of dating again (in fact we kind of missed dating out at the beginning) but the fuss of getting ready, picking each other up at airports and stations etc with our bet clothes on, lol, it was fun and exciting (in between the hard times).

Anyhow, after lots of longing to be in the same country again we are, but can't afford a house to buy, so I'm living with my parents a couple of hours from where DH lodges to go to work, so we are still wekend dating! I get to cook special meals for him, without him seeing the prep, i get to spend weekend almost in another world, and the week drags but is filled with dreams off him and preparation for the next weekend. The bleak times do come of course, but its remembering to count your blessings and realise how lucky you are to have someone in your life you'll miss so much! I'd choose two days a week with my husband over 8 days a week with any other guy! I bet you would too. (I mean with your guy, not my husband lol).

Its not easy and its not choice (and there are a few people here who have listened to me rant and moan on and off about it when I feel less positive!) but its not forever and its not the end of the world.

Good luck, cheer up, and like Charlie said, fill your time with good stuff.

In omnibus amor et iustum
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