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Old 07-13-2014, 01:21 PM   #11
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I am so grateful I taught my kids manners. The problem is that when they put them into practice, other younger folks look at them with a quizzical look as if to say, "What are you doing?"
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Old 07-13-2014, 01:26 PM   #12
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"We have met the enemy and they are US." We have wrapped our minds around this smartphone technology to the extent that Einstein declared (and I paraphrase) "We have become a nation of idiots."

Aside from all that, my wife and I have never considered eating out a good value. The food is normally loaded with too much fat, too much salt, or too much sugar and handled with questionable cleanliness. The atmosphere at most places is not conducive to good conversation because of the acoustics in most eateries. (remember before smartphones when we actually conversed with each other?) Coffee or tea for $2.50 or more? You gotta be kidding. Wine for $7.00 to $$$$$ a glass? Our friends would much rather get together by bringing our food offerings and fellowship in the peace and intimacy of a host home.
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Old 07-13-2014, 01:31 PM   #13
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Let me get on that soapbox with you Katie. I agree with every word you said, especially this.."However, if dining out is meant to be a pleasant and relaxing activity, make it so. Take your time. Turn off your phones, engage in conversation with those around you. Talk to people face-to-face and really participate in your time around the table."
It's down right insulting to me to have a cell phone an active member of the table.
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Old 07-13-2014, 01:41 PM   #14
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The way I see it, it is a 2 way situation re. someone on their mobile whilst you are out with them. I would tolerate the odd text or call but not if it is intrusive. Where people lack manners, it is never too late to turn this around, i.e. we are all influenced by our peer groups so if it was seen as rude/insulting to have conversation interrupted with a call, then it is up to us to not just bite our lip and stay silent but to stand up for our beliefs!!! I have no problem with this but people tend to be superficially polite, i.e. not authentic. I see it everywhere - there's a saying "life is real when you are". Those who favour politeness don't realise it is possible to voice an opinion tactfully, i.e. diplomacy is key.
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Old 07-13-2014, 01:56 PM   #15
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Old 07-13-2014, 02:01 PM   #16
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Creative, I see you are from the U K. Unless this insidious practice we are discussing has indeed spread to your Isle and the continent, most Europeans have learned the fine art of dining. (We have not visited the UK or continent for about 15 years so I may be way behind the curve)
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Old 07-13-2014, 02:08 PM   #17
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The way I see it, it is a 2 way situation re. someone on their mobile whilst you are out with them. I would tolerate the odd text or call but not if it is intrusive. Where people lack manners, it is never too late to turn this around, i.e. we are all influenced by our peer groups so if it was seen as rude/insulting to have conversation interrupted with a call, then it is up to us to not just bite our lip and stay silent but to stand up for our beliefs!!! I have no problem with this but people tend to be superficially polite, i.e. not authentic. I see it everywhere - there's a saying "life is real when you are". Those who favour politeness don't realise it is possible to voice an opinion tactfully, i.e. diplomacy is key.
True enough, creative. We've become the "have a nice day" and "how are you" mentality, robotic if you will. The "nice day" is just a collection of words that have come to have no real meaning and inquiring as to how one is means little as well.

Sadly, some of what I see when I am out is a collection of doormats who appear to have little spine and no gumption to stand up to things that should be addressed as you say in a tactful way. Diplomacy isn't something only relegated to nations, it's something we can all practice.

Yes, there is a way to let someone know that a word or act is bothersome. Even though we wish to call someone a jerk outright, especially if they are, we have to couch our words in a way in which to convey our annoyance or displeasure courteously. Therein lies the rub.

Unfortunately, many I see - many of our youth - feel the need to express this sort of situation with the single digit salute, which can result in escalating the situation. No diplomacy there.

I think, at least for myself, I have to weigh how important my fight/cause is and act accordingly, along with taking into consideration the setting in which the incident takes place. I learned a long time ago that there are some things that are really, really not worrying about or getting my bloomers in a bunch over.

However, I will say that I do have certain standards and principles and prefer to live my life accordingly. And...some of that includes manners for all and basic human consideration.
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Old 07-13-2014, 02:59 PM   #18
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Well said, Katie.

It's annoying to hear people speak loudly on their phones, or hear text alerts going off continuously at the next table when I'm in a restaurant. I have taken occasional food pics in a restaurant before, but inconspicuously as possible (and never in a fine dining restaurant), and wait till I get home to load them. I'm there to eat and talk with the people I'm with.

And as to the "have a nice day" response from many folks nowadays that seem to have no inflection or well-meaning to it....another pet peeve I have is when I'm being handed my purchases in a store, I say "Thank you", and instead of saying "you're welcome", the clerk says "no problem". That's happening more and more.
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Old 07-13-2014, 03:00 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by Katie H View Post
Sadly, some of what I see when I am out is a collection of doormats who appear to have little spine and no gumption to stand up to things that should be addressed as you say in a tactful way. Diplomacy isn't something only relegated to nations, it's something we can all practice.
...
Yes, there is a way to let someone know that a word or act is bothersome. Even though we wish to call someone a jerk outright, especially if they are, we have to couch our words in a way in which to convey our annoyance or displeasure courteously. Therein lies the rub.
Here's an option: Miss Manners: Cellphone discourtesy defeats host's careful planning - The Washington Post
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Old 07-13-2014, 03:03 PM   #20
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Originally Posted by creative View Post
The way I see it, it is a 2 way situation re. someone on their mobile whilst you are out with them. I would tolerate the odd text or call but not if it is intrusive. Where people lack manners, it is never too late to turn this around, i.e. we are all influenced by our peer groups so if it was seen as rude/insulting to have conversation interrupted with a call, then it is up to us to not just bite our lip and stay silent but to stand up for our beliefs!!! I have no problem with this but people tend to be superficially polite, i.e. not authentic. I see it everywhere - there's a saying "life is real when you are". Those who favour politeness don't realise it is possible to voice an opinion tactfully, i.e. diplomacy is key.
While I certainly agree with you in theory, Americans tend to be a bit more practical with reality in matters like this. Case in point is this quote by the author Robert Heinlein: “Never try to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and it annoys the pig.”
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