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Old 07-12-2006, 12:40 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by sydfan
And doesn't like it when you drink? Man I freaking HATE that!!! I don't get drunk...EVER. But I love a couple of beers and a glass of Scotch on Sunday evening. The wife (whom I love dearly) will come down and see me drinking and give me "the look". SON OF A BUCK!!!!! I'm just having a couple beers!!!!



And a glass of Scotch!!!!


I will tread lightly here, and first, suggest you communicate your feelings to your spouse. Going by the anger in your post -- about drinking (a couple of beers), the look, and wanting to sit alone and drink, you don't get drunk - EVER, sends up several red flags. Be honest with yourself, and the people that care about you. My first impression is that you may be in Denial. Second suggestion, go to an AA meeting, and just sit and listen.
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Old 07-12-2006, 12:53 PM   #12
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My first impression is that you may be in Denial.
I think that may be a bit of a stretch here. Just because someone wants some alone time and wants to have a drink, well that does not necessarily indicate a problem.

Sure some of the classic signs of alcoholism are drinking alone and drinking every day, but that does not mean that everyone who does these things is an alcoholic or is in denial.

Lets remember that the poster said he is talking about a couple of beers (I am assuming he is talking about 2) and a drink of scotch. He is not getting drunk. He is not polishing off a 6 pack. He is just having a couple of drinks.

I am not saying he does not have a problem. I have no way of knowing if he does or does not. Only he can know that. I am just saying that we should not be jumping to conclusions because a few catch phrases from AA popped up.
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Old 07-12-2006, 01:22 PM   #13
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I am the spouse that doesn't drink. He doesn't drink all that much either. A few times a year and it really doesn't bother me except when he starts to get obnoxious and mostly because it's embarrassing to me.
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Old 07-12-2006, 04:28 PM   #14
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Thanks for your replies everyone. First off, she doesn't have any alcoholic relatives nor a bad experience with an alcoholic. She is a devout Christian, and I'm a Christian too. But I suppose our outlooks are different from each other's. She doesn't believe that drinking in and of itself is a sin. But she feels that if you drink enough to feel the effects of alcohol that that is a sin. I disagree. I don't really believe that being drunk by itself is a sin. There is a huge difference between being drunk and being a drunkard. Being a drunkard is as sin, according to the Bible. I am certainly not a drunkard. I do enjoy the calming effects of a couple of drinks though. And I can assure you that I'm not in any kind of denial. I do not get drunk. My angry faces were out of frustration. I am not a puritan, nor do I want to be. I think sometimes it is just unreasonable that I can't enjoy an adult beverage every evening if I wanted to without a hassle. I do not need my morality dictated to me.
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Old 07-12-2006, 04:42 PM   #15
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Man I feel your plight...I don't see the harm in it besides you getting in some hot water with the misses. If I were in your shoes I would communicate my case to my spouse. I would also say that I take care of all my responsibilities, I work, all the bills are paid, what is the big deal if I want a beverage? You are free and over 21, and it is the LAST legal vice in our society. Not like you are bing drinking, or smoking crack...JMO.
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Old 07-12-2006, 05:18 PM   #16
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Old 07-12-2006, 05:32 PM   #17
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How long did you know this person before you married her? Is this a new behavior of hers?
I'm out on a limb here but let me guess there is other "stuff" in your relationship that might be awry?

Like the other guy said--- talk about it... see what's on her mind, let her see what's on yours... Say what you want and do so in an adult fashion. If she won't understand, then well there you go....

Compromise is unlikely to work. If you cut back to half of your consumption you will only resent it, and she will still be mad.

If talk dosen't work consider finding someone who has the same outlook on life as you do. Life's too short.... etc.
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