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Old 08-09-2008, 02:27 AM   #131
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some people are good at letting go, some are readily comfortable with the thought of passively holding on.

marge, i hope you find your peace in either, or at least a balance in between.
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Old 08-09-2008, 06:50 PM   #132
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I think what is going on is that John became very ill just 3 month after we lost his dad. I didn't really have time to grieve for Paul and now the dust has settled...i am. Does that make any sense?
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Old 08-09-2008, 08:48 PM   #133
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I think what is going on is that John became very ill just 3 month after we lost his dad. I didn't really have time to grieve for Paul and now the dust has settled...i am. Does that make any sense?

that certainly does make sense. when we are so close to someone and they leave us, a piece of us goes as well. i find the memories coming at the oddest times and places. course mine are also bound up in the violence of his death.

just go with it dove, when you don't need it anymore it will stop. i am not sure when that might be though. just know you are not alone.

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Old 08-09-2008, 11:50 PM   #134
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I think what is going on is that John became very ill just 3 month after we lost his dad. I didn't really have time to grieve for Paul and now the dust has settled...i am. Does that make any sense?
Marge it makes perfect sense. You got caught up in a whirlwind..Paul, then John, losing our husbands or parents hurts so much, but losing a child, that is something we cannot understand. We know and accept the fact we should leave our children and go home and that they will continue on. Then all of a sudden all we know and accept gets ripped and torn and we are left to sort it out..Right now you are finally starting to grieve fully for Paul, but the fact that you have John to mourn puts a double burden on you..The dreams will fade after awhile and with time peace and soothing memories will come for you..Rest and remember your loved ones, they are right there Marge..I see my dad each day as the little hummers come to the feeder..I have one who will come hover over my head if I'm on the lawn with the hose. I firmly believe this is a signal from daddy and it makes me know I'm not alone...Welcome your dreams when your loved ones come in them...You are never alone, they are always right there with you...Close your eyes and there will be times a slight soft whisp of air will brush your hair or face..I know then they have been with me.ou will too.
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Old 08-11-2008, 11:38 AM   #135
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I have had several dreams about him backing up when I reach for a hug..Kevin was out at the shooting range and was wishing his dad could see how well he was shooting. That night in his dream he could see dad and would start running towards him. Paul would disappear every time. He said he woke up sobbing. Do you think this is Paul's way of saying " It's time to let go?"
It could also be your subconscious way of asking permission to move on. Either way, take whatever time you need, and know that we are right here for you. Our prayers, as always, are with you dear Marge.

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Old 08-11-2008, 02:53 PM   #136
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I think what is going on is that John became very ill just 3 month after we lost his dad. I didn't really have time to grieve for Paul and now the dust has settled...i am. Does that make any sense?
makes perfect sense, Marge! and grieving for both your husband and son at the same time must be exhausting.

sending you an extra dose of love and light to help see you through.

I think of you often, even if I don't say so as much.
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Old 08-11-2008, 07:13 PM   #137
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i had the strangest dream last night. We were in an RV very close to the ocean. I could almost touch the water but it was so still..no waves. We were sitting on the RV steps and I touched his leg and asked "how do you feel?" he answered " If I could feel this good for a few days, I wouldn't make my wife a widow?"............................
This is the first dream that he spoke to me and I could hear his voice...and I was calm.

(The ocean is my most favorite place on earth.)
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Old 08-11-2008, 10:14 PM   #138
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what a lovely dream. dove is it the anniversary of something in your life with him? birthday, anniv. anything? i found i think more about him and dream more when it is.

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Old 08-12-2008, 01:55 AM   #139
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imo, you're coming to a peace with it marge. that's great.
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Old 08-12-2008, 02:20 AM   #140
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I agree with Bucky Marge, Paul and John are helping you come to a peaceful time in your life..They are right there with you and will always be at your side watching after you..They want you to know a calm peace now.

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