Dove's Kitchen Table...we get by with a little help from our friends

[Dove]

I think Spring has sprung..My dogwood is going to be so beautiful (again) this year. Every year it just out does itself from the year before. the other flowering trees are just full of bloom. We have been in the 70's so they think it is "show time'

Son Kevin and a friend are (were?) going to put my fence up this week end but they are calling for 40% chance of rain. We have all the supplies..now have to wait and see what Mother Nature is going to do.

Thanks for the hug Katie. I need it.

 

[Fisher's Mom]

Gosh, Marge, I think dogwood trees are the most beautiful of all! I miss the ones I had in Massachusetts. It's so nice yours are beginning to bloom for you. I noticed some buds on my crape myrtles. I can't wait for that gorgeous splash of pink in my back yard.

How wonderful your sons are going to put up your fence. If it's raining, they will just have to pull up a chair at your table. There always seems to be something wonderful to eat here in your kitchen.

 

[Dove]

Just my one son...and his friend will be working on my fence tomorrow and Friday. I just had the two boys..John and Kevin.

 

[Fisher's Mom]

Just my one son...and his friend will be working on my fence tomorrow and Friday. I just had the two boys..John and Kevin.

Oh gosh, Marge, I'm so sorry. I meant your son and your grandsons. But it turns out it's your son and his friend. My brain just doesn't work as well when I'm not on the beach.

 

[Dove]

I understand...I was with my DIL, 2 Grandsons and Kevin Easter Day. That is when I really feel the loss. John did all the cooking..now Timothy is doing it. He did a good job on the ham.

 

[Fisher's Mom]

Awwww, Marge, it's so hard getting used to the empty chairs on holidays. I really miss my dad on the holidays, too. I keep looking around because there is that constant feeling that someone is missing. How did Timothy feel about being the cook this year?

 

[Dove]

Tim did last Thanksgiving Dinner ( the day after John's services) and the Christmas Ham too. He learned from John I guess. He is experimenting on everything but it comes out pretty good. I think it makes him feel good taking over for Dad.

John started the tradition of having us over for Holiday Dinners and Christmas Eve for gift opening. We decided to keep the tradition going.

 

[cara]

hey Marge,

I join you for a good cup of coffee and bring you some spring from Germany!

 

[Dove]

So beautiful Cara !!
Please do sit down with us..we all welcome you at our table.
Marge

 

[Steamboater]

Hi Marge: My warm regards to you. Loss is shock when it comes there are people, although they mean well, who will tell how to feel and how to get over it etc but in the end that's up to you and it's very personal. Honestly, I'm a Gay man and my partner of 24 yeras died 2 years ago. He had also adopted two kids 6 yeras prior to his death and the day after he died DCS came and took the kids and put them back into the foster care system without even asking me if I wanted them. Eight months later my mom died and 2 days after that, my dog. People will tell you your loved ones are in a better place and when they did, for me at least, it made me very angry because a better place would have been with me. In the end, take it day by day. There's moments when you have that flicker of memory that comes back and it almost paralyzes you but they do get fewer and far between as time goes by and the good times and wonderful moments you had together revive and strangley, it makes you happier. One thing friends did tell me that's true, your loved ones would want you to be happy. I hope that happens for you eventually.

 

[Fisher's Mom]

I'm sorry to hear you've had so many losses in the last 2 years, Steamboater. My mom lost my dad 3 years ago and she still has a lot of paralyzing days. I don't think any of us ever really think we will outlive those we love. Especially after so many years. You're right - there is no guidebook for how you should feel. Sadly, each one of us has to find our way through one day at a time. Hopefully we have friends to lean on when we need it. I'm glad you've found DC and I hope our community will be a source of comfort for you, too.

 

[Dove]

Steamboater,
Thank you for your understanding..everyone here has helped me but only someone who has walked in my shoes can really feel my pain.
I do have friends that do say "they are in a better place" inc. my sis who is a Hospice Chaplain..I just say..."How do you know?"
Marge

 

[buckytom]

hey, let's take marge's shoes!!!

marge, there is a better place. i'm quite mellow sure of it.

i've spent most of my life, of course with all due respect only slightly more than half of yours, trying to find out the answers to the same stuff as the rest of us. where are we from, why are we here, where do we go, etc.

in analyzing this to the point of insanity, all i can say is that all religions are writer's perceptions of how to explain our lives. what pervades, though, is that we all do have this life energy (whatever that is that makes us alive), and a basic sense of right and wrong. those things cannot be denied, no matter how you deconstruct them in order to figure them out.

so, with that in mind, started to learn about the teachings of various religions, and found striking commonalities. one of them is that god is everywhere, and in everything. again, looking at it backwards, that means we all are god, or have him in us somewhere.

so, i started to think that maybe all of our life energies put back together is god as a whole. that's why it is taught that god is omnipotent. that when we die, we understand everything, and can then forgive and love everything wholly. because we can see/experience things from every point of view.

reality is merely a series of perceptions. what we see and are in our everyday lives. so all of our perceptions mashed back together is the true reality. in other words, god.
i hope i haven't lost you.

in any case, i don't know if it's a better "place", but i do know that we all come back together. so you, whatever it is that makes you , will go back to being one with yours that you have lost, and will be with those that are to come.

inluding pets, btw.

like steamboater said, the best place anyone can be is back together with their family and loved ones. so don't lose faith. relish every day that you have with those here, because soon enough all of us will really be at the same table, having a laugh and telling gw to try an irish coffee, already.


edited to add: ok, so i sound like a nutcase. but YOU try to explain it better, in your own words. (not you, pre se marge, but yous in general )

go ahead. try.


see, now who's crazy.




i feel better.

 

[Green Lady]

Marge, I've been away from DC and didn't know about this thread. I hope there is a place at the table for me to join all of you.

I am reading a great book along with some of my friends. You might find it interesting. It's entitled "Heaven" by Randy Alcorn. It answers a lot of questions and also gets the reader to look at things from a different perspective. It is a wonderful book! It can be purchased on Amazon or at Christian Family Bookstores.

The author read well over 100 books on Heaven before writing his book. He searched the scriptures for answers. Many of the ideas and thoughts about Heaven that many of us grew up with are incorrect. Of course, some of what he writes is conjecture and opinion, but well thought out. But I think he is right-on with much that he wrote.

 

[kadesma]

Marge,
better place, no more pain, are words..They are said in the hope that they will give us comfort and ease..People all of us, are hard pressed as to what to say when someone has a loved one leave this world. So we offer up these words to let you know we do care and deeply....Being together again gives us hope of life after death..with out that thought leaves one wondering what what will become of them..I myself hold tight to the words together again, it gives me hope and a feeling of restful peace, that I will hold them again in my arms.I wish and pray for that for all of us.

cj

 

[Dove]

You are all right..I was just having a bad day...
sorry..

 

[Fisher's Mom]

Don't apologize for letting us know you're having a rough day, Marge! How can we help if we don't know you're feeling bad? And considering the awful things you've had to come to grips with the past couple of years, it would be crazy to think you'd "be over it". That's why Elf built this table - so your DC family could be with you through this tough time. Folks shouldn't have to keep a stiff upper lip when they are at the table with their family. So no more apologies my friend, and I still have you in my thoughts and prayers every day.

 

[Dove]

 

[kadesma]

Fishers Mom, beautifly well said..Marge, we all love you and any of us is here for you anytime you have a day be it good or bad..Just remember...We LOVE YOU!
kadesma

 

[Green Lady]

I agree with everything Fisher's Mom wrote. Remember, Marge, that grieving is a process that takes time. I respect a person who is honest about their emotions than one who keeps a stiff upper lip. I think most of us here have had losses of one kind or another, maybe not exactly what you have experienced, but heartache and losses. We can jointly support you and hold you up in prayer.