Dreaded wedding shower

[texasgirl]

I have to go to a wedding shower today, and I don't believe the two should even get married I'm not the only one in the family that feels this way either.
They fight almost everyday. She is a spoiled little girl, although she is 24 years old. He has always been a loner and she is used to constant attention. She has to know what he is doing every minute of the day. She calls him on his cell at work at least 10 times a day wanting to talk and when he says that he needs to work, she gets mad at him for not wanting to talk and keeps going until he is yelling profanities at her and hanging up. Does this stop her? NO, she will keep calling and if he doesn't pick up, she will start calling the office phone. This is a family company, so, getting fired isn't going to happen, thankfully. It gets very nerve racking for the rest of us though because it puts him in a bad mood at work. They are completely different, he is down to earth and is simple as far as getting just the things that he needs, she is VERY extravangant and buys things just to buy. She has bought a new outfit for everything they have done, graduation, showers, weddings, a whole weekend of clothes for our family reunion. They don't have the money to do this and they are suppose to get married in 3 weeks and are panicing about being able to afford what they need for that. I don't see this marraige lasting a year! I don't want to go to the shower and spend money that I don't have for a couple that I feel isn't going to last. AAAGHHHHHH
Sorry, just wanted to vent.

I should have put this to begin with.
I like this girl tremedously, I just don't think that they are meant for one another. She is very sweet and caring to anyone. I hope for their sake that they can both work through their problems and realize what needs to be done to make it work.

 

[Alix]

Wow. Make sure the groom knows where your car keys are on the wedding day in case he needs a getaway car.

 

[texasgirl]

Wow. Make sure the groom knows where your car keys are on the wedding day in case he needs a getaway car.

I just might do that, Alix!!

 

[middie]

i hope they get their differences worked out... and soon

 

[DampCharcoal]

I'm with Alix, make sure a getaway car is near with the motor running and doors open! That's funny because I was a groomsman for my buddy last fall and he kept joking about me pretending that I was sick so I could drive by the church in his F-150 so he could jump in the bed before the vows! They're doing well now and I hope you're friends will be too, texasgirl!

 

[KAYLINDA]

Opposites Attract!

It is amazing how many opposites are attracted to each other. Maybe it's the fullfillment in the mate having the qualities that you don't possess? I wish them both the best. Even if they seemed "perfect" for each other right now...chances are down the road one would change. We only have "right now" as a promise. There may be no "tomorrow" for us....so celebrate with what makes them happy today.

 

[aussie girl]

She has to know what he is doing every minute of the day. She calls him on his cell at work at least 10 times a day wanting to talk and when he says that he needs to work, she gets mad at him for not wanting to talk and keeps going until he is yelling profanities at her and hanging up. Does this stop her? NO, she will keep calling and if he doesn't pick up, she will start calling the office phone.

I get the over-whelming feeling that the bride-to-be is very possessive. Do you know if there is a reason for that Texasgirl?

Speaking from my own experience, I had 2 ex-bf's cheat on me I behaved in a similar manner. But never to the extent of calling them 10 times a day, and NEVER at work.

It only takes 1 good relationship to fix that though. I trust my DH 110%. Even when he goes fishing for 3-4 days. Because of the remote area, there is no mobile phone reception, and I can't contact him. He calls me from a public phone each night to let me know he is ok.

She may also have a problem with low self-confidence. But that is something thats usually fixed with self acceptance, maturity and age.

Alix - I thing the 'getaway car' maybe the bride-to-be's biggest underlying fear. And I wouldn't blame the groom in the least. But I do feel a sense of doom for this marriage, until the bride-to-be does some soul searching.

 

[mrsmac]

I can almost see myself in the bride to be, low self esteem, insecurity, marrying to make yourself feel better about yourself cause someone must love you to marry you- no matter what you think of them! DISASTER!! But, you'll never be able to talk either of them out of it. Just be there for them afterwards (and don't spend too much on the gift!!)

 

[texasgirl]

I get the over-whelming feeling that the bride-to-be is very possessive. Do you know if there is a reason for that Texasgirl?

Speaking from my own experience, I had 2 ex-bf's cheat on me I behaved in a similar manner. But never to the extent of calling them 10 times a day, and NEVER at work.

It only takes 1 good relationship to fix that though. I trust my DH 110%. Even when he goes fishing for 3-4 days. Because of the remote area, there is no mobile phone reception, and I can't contact him. He calls me from a public phone each night to let me know he is ok.

She may also have a problem with low self-confidence. But that is something thats usually fixed with self acceptance, maturity and age.

Alix - I thing the 'getaway car' maybe the bride-to-be's biggest underlying fear. And I wouldn't blame the groom in the least. But I do feel a sense of doom for this marriage, until the bride-to-be does some soul searching.

Actually, he has never done anything like cheating, he doesn't even look at other women. She is the first that he has been with since divorcing his first wife { she ran off with his best friend} so he knows what it feels like and won't do that. BUT, I do know that she was engaged twice before and was left just before the got married. I also know that she is very insecure about her appearance. I just hope that she will grow out of it, Aussie, when they aren't yelling, they will make you sick from the lovey crap
It's like a love/hate relationship. I really want them to work it out, they have both been hurt by others and it's time that they are both happy for once.

Thanks for all of the advice from everyone!! I will keep it all in mind before I rush to judge again.

 

[Alix]

Alix - I thing the 'getaway car' maybe the bride-to-be's biggest underlying fear. And I wouldn't blame the groom in the least. But I do feel a sense of doom for this marriage, until the bride-to-be does some soul searching.

Aussie girl, sorry if my odd sense of humour upset you. My comment was meant more to give texasgirl a giggle than to actually comment on the situation.

 

[aussie girl]

Alix - Absolutely no need to apologise. I wasn't offended in any way, and do see the humour re; the getaway car.

My thoughts were that, that would be the exact situation that the bride-to-be is fearing the most. I may be judging the picture wrong, but feel she will be most relieved when the "I do's" are spoken and rings are on the fingers. Then she has him 'forever'?

I have witnessed it heaps of times; the bride-to-be is all wrapped up in the wedding planning/details, with no thought to the marriage. Someone once said to me, the wedding day is just one day. The next day everything returns to normal.

Then there was the friend of a friend who divorced after 5 years of marriage, and said, "At least I got a good wedding out of him" *cold*