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Old 01-10-2009, 08:43 PM   #1
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Embarking Upon an Odyssey...

...of sorts. I'm not sure if this is going to work, but it's worth a try.

My best friend is recovering from a nasty divorce and just got out of alcohol rehab. Her son wants to stay with his Dad, and her 13-year-old daughter wants to stay with her Mom. So after many hours of phone conversations it was decided that the best place for them to be was here, with me. My friend won't be tempted by bars and nightclubs as she is in Charlotte, NC, and her daughter got in with a pack of bad friends down there and she'll be away from them.
We've set ground rules and those include no alcohol, no instant messengers on my computer or my internet service, no temptations to return to old ways.
I have already put in place a program that blocks just about everything including forums and MySpace and Facebook and those instant messengers, no music or video downloads, no chat rooms the list goes on. My friend will attend AA every week and we're working on getting her referrals to a therapist and a doctor here through my doctor and hers.
The daughter will be continuing her homeschooling here, she was taken out of school because of the bad crowd.
Right now both of them seem to be very excited about it and they will be coming on Tuesday.
But we'll see. I don't expect a fun time but I think it's doable. I'm pretty tough and I won't put up with any nonsense in my house, and if I'm going to give up my privacy to help, they better by God do it right the first time. I've made that clear. I have no qualms about having the sheriff haul both of them out of here if need be.
I won't be here very much but I will drop in now and then, and I may blog this later on my forum.
This is jsut something that will have to go with baby steps and we'll see if it works. The nearest bar is miles and miles away and I'm excellent at disabling a car. I told the kid no cell phones and she doesn't touch mine (I'll keep it locked away) and my landline will have no long distance service as I'll take that off.
Wish me luck. I'll be in touch, the next few weeks are probably going to be a bit hard. I'm moving my bed upstairs to the loft so I'll still have a little privacy because I'm not patient with kids. Now I have to get busy and get this place ready so I'll see you all later!

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Old 01-10-2009, 09:29 PM   #2
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Best of Luck Erinny, and (insert higher power of your choice here) bless you for giving of yourself and doing the right thing.
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Old 01-10-2009, 09:35 PM   #3
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Wow! You are some kind of lady to do all that for a friend and her child! Sounds like an iteresting situation indeed! I wish you the best of luck in this.
I do have a question if you don't mind....since the girl will be home schooled and rules have been placed on her to get her out of previous influences...what will she have to occupy her time with you so this experience isn't a "bummer" in her eyes? As they say idle hands is the devil's workshop....any plans for them in that manner, to distract them from what got them there to begin with?

Looking forward to hearing how things go for you guys! Stay strong!!

Dee
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Old 01-10-2009, 11:23 PM   #4
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Wow, you are a true friend. Sounds like you are someone who enjoys solitude, so it may be difficult for you. Hope it all works out in the best possible way. Bless you.
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Old 01-11-2009, 12:08 AM   #5
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A recovering alcoholic, and a 13 y.o. girl? You must be a great friend indeed. I don't know much about alcoholics, but for 13 y.o. girls, life is a constant drama.

All I can say is keep things in perspective, and don't sweat the small stuff. If you do, then you'll be drowning in sweat in no time...
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Old 01-11-2009, 11:16 PM   #6
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I have a list of things for this kid to do already! She wont have a chance to get bored. They have always liked this place and they know a little what they're in for because to survive up here it takes some real work and stubborness.
First I'll introduce her to the wood stove. Then the logsplitter. If that doesn't work, that bad-tempered bear that came wandering down here last spring might do the trick.
Ugh...I am looking forward to this and in a way I'm not. I'm very nervous. I have no qualms about my friend but the daughter is a whole other story. And the worst weather is ahead of us so it will be quite a challenge the three of us cooped up in here for days on end. But the kid does like to read, she loves animals, and she likes flowers. I have a shed half full of books she can read and I can teach her how to knit and crochet and sew.
The phone will be turned off and I will get one of those prepaid track phones and keep it on me. I'm guessing the first few days will be a lot of fun since this is new and different but it's going to get rough later so we'll just see what happens.
And my friend was here for me when I was mad and bitter and hurt so now it's my turn.
Thanks everyone and I'll be in touch.
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Old 01-11-2009, 11:25 PM   #7
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Wow good luck to you, it is tough to do this. Are you ready for what would happen should she give up, refuse your help and move back?
I have done this a couple of times in the past, found out that was the hardest part, when they gave up on themselves and left to go back to their old ways...
I hope that doesn't happen here!
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Old 01-12-2009, 12:17 AM   #8
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Yes, I have been there, too, Buddy. The most important thing is not to take it personally if she makes a decision that disappoints you, Erinny. You will know that you did all you could do.
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Old 01-12-2009, 12:35 AM   #9
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I'll try not to but I probably will take it personally because I'm like that when it comes to people and things I care about. By the time it happens though I'm hoping I'll see it coming and try to be ready for it.
No promises, no definites, no way of knowing how this will play out. The only things I know for sure are these:
I care
I'm worried
and they're coming on Tuesday unless we have a blizzard or other disaster.
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Old 01-12-2009, 12:37 AM   #10
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Pray, a lot. We can pray for all of you as well. Don't do anything or take any action with out thinking it thru carefully, and never be afraid to question your self and what actions you are taking....
Good luck! Keep us posted!
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