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Old 04-17-2011, 06:56 PM   #21
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Call waiting isn't rude. It's how someone uses it that is usually rude. I have visual call waiting, so I can see who is on the other line. I don't answer if I don't know the name/number. I tell my current caller that I have another call and will be right back. I switch calls and say "Hi, I'm on the other line. Can I call you back in ___ minutes?" I then switch back to the original call and apologize and tell them, "I just want to note that call." Then I continue the original call.
Not to go too OT here, but what ever happened to getting a busy tone and trying your call later? Now someone needs to be told you're on the phone and to call back? Just another sign of the changing times.
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Old 04-17-2011, 07:00 PM   #22
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Not to go too OT here, but what ever happened to getting a busy tone and trying your call later? Now someone needs to be told you're on the phone and to call back? Just another sign of the changing times.
Yup, the times are changing. My phone is a biz line and sometimes it's important to me to talk to the second person calling. Getting a time to call back avoids a lot of phone tag.
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Old 04-17-2011, 07:03 PM   #23
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To me, there is a difference between manners and etiquette. Manners are the way you treat the people you are with, saying please, thank you, not picking your nose or teeth in public etc. Etiquette are those rules that are applied to formal social engagements such as weddings, formal dinner parties, receptions etc. So many times people seem to cite arbitrary "rules" in order to show superiority. I figure if you follow the basic golden rule of do unto others most of the time you'll act appropriately.

That said, the one thing that seems to be ignored is the RSVP. I don't know how many times I've asked people to let me know if they are coming and I don't hear and don't know how to plan. Maybe no one ever taught them that RSVP means to respond please.
Hear, hear!

Etiquette, as I understand it, was supposed to reduce the incidence of embarrassment and misunderstanding. Nowadays it's abused to cause embarrassment. It might well have been enough to get a person shot in the 18th/19th centuries (I've no idea) but thanks goodness we live in the 21st. Hats aren't that common where I live, particularly indoors but I couldn't care less whether someone wears one at the table. Nor if they must make or take a call. Remember the century in which you live. He who does not progress, regresses etc.

Etiquette still has its place but many rules, if they even had a rationale, are surely redundant.
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Old 04-17-2011, 07:15 PM   #24
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Yup, the times are changing. My phone is a biz line and sometimes it's important to me to talk to the second person calling. Getting a time to call back avoids a lot of phone tag.
Exactly. It's important to you, but what about the original person on the other line? If my CPA told me to hold while he took another call, then returned to tell me the other person was more important than I was ("I really need to take this"), I'd be ticked. And he may well be right. Maybe the other customer is a much larger account, but I would still think it rude. I'm not really sure if rude falls under manners or etiquette though. I'd much rather be told the other line was ringing, then we could wrap up the conversation in ten seconds or decide to continue it later if we were just gabbing. But this is business phone use, if it was a friend or family member telling me they were taking the other call instead, and is wasn't an emergency, whoo boy...
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Old 04-17-2011, 07:47 PM   #25
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Exactly. It's important to you, but what about the original person on the other line? If my CPA told me to hold while he took another call, then returned to tell me the other person was more important than I was ("I really need to take this"), I'd be ticked. And he may well be right. Maybe the other customer is a much larger account, but I would still think it rude. I'm not really sure if rude falls under manners or etiquette though. I'd much rather be told the other line was ringing, then we could wrap up the conversation in ten seconds or decide to continue it later if we were just gabbing. But this is business phone use, if it was a friend or family member telling me they were taking the other call instead, and is wasn't an emergency, whoo boy...
"I really need to take this" can mean so many things. How about if he has a client who is in the hospital and only has access to the phone at certain, limited times. Okay, that's not a greatly realistic example, but you get my drift. Of course, it also depends on how often it happens, and the attitude in the person's voice.

If the other call is important, I am reluctant to try to wrap up the current call quickly. Too often it has taken minutes to wrap up the call. The other person wasn't being intentionally difficult, but kept remembering "quick questions". Of course, now my important call is gone. I may have made an appointment for a call with caller #2, while caller # 1 just called.

There are no hard and fast rules. It's just what seems polite this time and "How would I want to be treated?"
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Old 04-17-2011, 11:30 PM   #26
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My parents have suddenly started using an answering service. Before, when I called them, I would hang up if the phone rang more than 6 times...they were not home. Got in an arguement with Shrek today that I should have left a message that I had called. Why? I haven't needed to leave one for the first 50 years.

As for call waiting...I don't like it and I don't use it.
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Old 04-18-2011, 06:21 AM   #27
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I knew this would be a bombshell! Manners and etiquette to me are just different rules for the same thing, and the first rule is that they are a social lubricant. They are meant to make us be able to live closely together without killing each other. I guess it was brought home to me most closely when my youngest sis (13 years my junior) had a daughter and said daughter asked me for something. I don't remember what, but it was within easy reach and my sister mildly flipped. "Auntie Claire, NO! .... Susie Q (not her real name, obviously) mind your manners!" Then she turned to me and told me never to give her kid (now kids) anything if the magic words are not in proper place.
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Old 04-18-2011, 06:34 AM   #28
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My parents have suddenly started using an answering service. Before, when I called them, I would hang up if the phone rang more than 6 times...they were not home. Got in an arguement with Shrek today that I should have left a message that I had called. Why? I haven't needed to leave one for the first 50 years.

As for call waiting...I don't like it and I don't use it.
I wish my father would start using his answering machine. Half the time he doesn't hear the phone ring
And then there are the phone calls he makes to me after checking his caller ID... Any number that shows up as private, I get the call... "Did you call me?" If he used his answering machine, he'd know!

Phones...
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Old 04-18-2011, 09:21 AM   #29
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Well said. Feel free to wear your hat at my table, just say please when you want me to pass something and say thank you once I have
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Ditto.
Trust me, if you have made it to my table, the hat issue has already been addressed at the front door.
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Old 04-18-2011, 10:01 AM   #30
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Trust me, if you have made it to my table, the hat issue has already been addressed at the front door.
Well heck yeah. The house is one thing, I was talking diners. Maybe because I live in a farm town. Even some of the waitresses wear ball caps.
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