Feeling blue

[mikki]

Dave, your right I don't need him agrravating me now no more then I needed it before when I gave him the ultimatum ,thats when he siad he wasn't the one that would be leaving( that was just before I lost my job). I know at this point I can not support myself so I'm kindof stuck. Husband is a whole different story,for the most part we don't have a marriage. I admit when I first lost my job I was picky about what I applied for,Made a mistake doing that, I am now willing to take any job I can get.

 

[mikki]

Bilby, I have not kept everything from my daughter, I just dont want her to see me a total wreck. She has been really great, she has not asked for anything since I lost my job, and I recently found out she used her last 10$ to pay for a review book that she had to have for school. As far as a job, very few places will hire before the age of 16, she tried all summer to get someone to hire her. I have already told her that if it comes down to me working evenings,which if one is offered I will take it, we'd have to make arrangements.
What is the oz site?, I've checked on some internet things in the area,but other then that I'm always afraid I'm going to get one thats, like you said, dodgy.

 

[jpmcgrew]

Dave,I have gave him ultimatum before,thats when he siad he wasn't the one that would be leaving( that was just before I lost my job). I know at this point I can not support myself so I'm kindof stuck. Husband is a whole different story,for the most part we don't have a marriage. I admit when I first lost my job I was picky about what I applied for,Made a mistake doing that, I am now willing to take any job I can get.

Wow Im so sorry to hear that not wonder you feel so down no work is bad enough but to have that on top of it just raises the stress level to almost unbearable.Have you thought of day care at home just make sure you know the limit of kids before you need a license it could bring in some cash or care for the elderly in their house its basically baby sitting some light house work some cooking etc.They usually have a day shift a night shift and a weekend shift, pay is usually pretty good

 

[texasgirl]

Hey, your going to be okay mikki. There is nothing that I can say that is going to make you feel better, I know, because, I was there last year. I lost my job and it seemed like everytime I thought I would get one, it never went anywhere. Our bank account was down to a couple of hundred dollars and I was so stressed, I cried on a daily basis. I would look online and in all the papers and go to everything I qualified for and even some that I didn't. The one job that I passed up once, I finally called because I was desperate and you know what? The owners are good people and I found a job that I thought I would never do. I manage my own storage facility now after a year of being there. Something is just around the corner for you, just have faith in yourself. You are feeling worse now because of the holidays, that's natural. Try to get through the holidays and not be down, because, you feeling this way isn't going to make anything better, just make you more miserable. Watch what becomes available to you after the 1st. Don't let DH get you down. Anytime you need to talk, you have friends here that will be here for you, just as they were for me. You just can't get a better group of people than the DC family!!

 

[mikki]

I have been able to deal with the stress pretty well,yesterday was the worst,DH had taken half of Thur and all of Fri. off and was in making remarks almost constantly about me not haveing o job, so I had 3 days of him poking at me and couldn't handle it. Babysitting in my home is out,DH is a fanitic about the house,15 year old gets yelled at for eating popcorn in livingroom, so I could just see what would happen if I had someone elses kids in the house. Never thought about the elderly, I'll have to check into that. Thanks for the idea

 

[Cordel]

Mikki, when you do get work, make sure that the first 10% goes in a savings account for you. Lie, if you need to, about how much you are making, but better still, state it as an announcement. There is nothing like some money in your bank to make a bh (bad husband) shape up. And when you get work, if he wants the living room perfect, let him look after it.

I like the idea of elder care, and you could probably do some shift work, so you spent more time in the house alone, and less when your husband is there. A little time on his own might be good for him.

 

[jpmcgrew]

Mikki, when you do get work, make sure that the first 10% goes in a savings account for you. Lie, if you need to, about how much you are making, but better still, state it as an announcement. There is nothing like some money in your bank to make a bh (bad husband) shape up. And when you get work, if he wants the living room perfect, let him look after it.

I like the idea of elder care, and you could probably do some shift work, so you spent more time in the house alone, and less when your husband is there. A little time on his own might be good for him.

You are so right Cordel.My father used to tell me that even if I was marrried I should have an account the husband doesn't know about then he would go HeHeHe that way you have bus money to get out of town if you hafto.Well I dont have a secret account but I do have some some savings that he knows about and he cant touch it because its mine.So in the back of his mind he knows if I really wanted to which I dont I have the means to leave.
A CD is a great way to go go with the highest interest even if its only 90 days then you go to the bank and shop around to findest the highest again and transfer to the next one.Also have your own mad money account

 

[mikki]

I plan on setting aside of some cash. I had started that, have my own account he knows nothing about. My previous job was 10 hours a day,we didn't see each other much, probably why we were not seperated yet. When we are together he thinks I should be stuck up his you know what. I know I've got to make changes just have to have cash first.

 

[jpmcgrew]

I plan on setting aside of some cash. I had started that, have my own account he knows nothing about. My previous job was 10 hours a day,we didn't see each other much, probably why we were not seperated yet. When we are together he thinks I should be stuck up his you know what. I know I've got to make changes just have to have cash first.

Where do you parent live? Do you have any family?

 

[mikki]

My parents live in the same area,but are in no position to help.

 

[auntdot]

A couple of years ago a woman came to us looking for a job. She really had no qualifications but she needed a job and we gave her a chance.

Several months later she was grabbed up by another department.

Then they paid to send her to school.

Now she has a great position. And I could not be happier.

Just keep going, there is a job. If not today, tomorrow. Do not get down on yourself - I know it is easy to do. Was in a position where I desperately needed a job and found one by not giving up - although I had every reason to do so.

Please don't stop looking. You are worth while. Tomorrow may be the day.

It is tough, but I have been there. Walk down the street and drop into shops. Maybe they were thinking about hiring someone. Or know someone who is looking. Talk to everyone you can.

It can be really tough, but you can do it. I did. In a sea of 'no thank you' I found a real job. Am there today, twelve years later.

YOU CAN DO IT.

Although at times it may seem you can't. Don't give up, please.

Just the ramblings of Auntdot.

 

[jpmcgrew]

check out this site you might get a few ideas there
Frugal Mom, Frugal Living, Work from Home & Home Based Businesss

 

[jpmcgrew]

Whats your towns population do you have veterinarians there sometimes they need help.Does your town have house cleaning services?If not you can put an ad in the paper if it works out it could turn into a full blown business with employees etc.The private house keepers I know can make quite a bit of money.You could put an ad in your local paper along the lines like.To busy to get your house in order for the Holidays?Call here for expert results make it catchy also make sure to charge plenty the average wage is around 10-12 bucks an hour or you can go to the house and give them an estimate which would be even more.Again its the elderly and people that would rather pay some one else to do it this could set you up temporarily for some work some peoply may need someone more than once a week.If there are such services ignore them and place ad any way people might not like the work they do.

 

[*amy*]

jp-I live in a small town outside a very small city that is not booming at all, and thats what is most depressing is that I have tried the temp. retail and I think pretty much every employable place around here and even they don't want to hire me.
UB- you are great! your kind words mean a lot!!!! I am glad I got the skillet,now I need more things to do in it.
Csalt-this is not the only comment,he thinks he can say what he wants to anyone, the it's a joke is the excuse he uses to make it someone elses fault and that's a whole different story of my life.
Thanks for the support,it's what I need!!! In my heart I know I can do anything I set my mind to, but sometimes it's hard to believe in yourself when noone else does.

Hang in there, mikki. Being out of work, particularly this time of the year, can bring your spirits a little down. Try not to let it phase you. It's not you personally that is being rejected, it's what the prospective future employer is specifically looking for. While a job does not define who you are, it does bring your self-esteem down a notch when you have to go out there & "sell" yourself. If you need the income, then your full-time job now is, to find a job.

If your unemployment has run out & no extensions, there may be counselors at the Dept of Human Resources that will help you, and possibly jobs posted there as well. You may be able to train for a new career/job thru same. But, you have to be diligent & follow thru. And, sometimes, when you feel low, you literally have to put your thumb under your chin & lift your head up - because you are worthwhile & have something to offer.

This may be a bad time of year for a job search. People may be hanging on till the beginning of the new year, taking vacations, & hard to reach folks because of parties, as well. Still, keep on plugging away. The job market is very competitive - make sure your skills are honed, or take an Adult Community College course or refresher.

Call some of your old friends you haven't spoken with in a while & get together for lunch or whatever. Network - call any contacts you had from the old job, & let them know you are looking and available. Re the hubbie's remarks, well, you know him better than anyone. Hold your head up, be positive, & keep on going. Hope that helps/gives you some support. Good luck.

 

[mikki]

Amy, It does help. Just hearing someone else say it's not me ( which in my heart I know) helps, Thanks. I'm definately not giving up. Yesterday was just an extremely bad day.

 

[DawnT]

Mikki, Sorry to hear about your problems with bh, $ and the blues. I see you are also doing college, have you checked into online or independent studies? Empire State College is great for that. Check with your local high school counselers for info. If I can find the catalog in DS's room I could PM you the address. Will try. Keep the faith, and while you're at the school, put in your resume. You never know when they need a substitute!! A fellow New Yorker, suffering the weather too. Dawn T

 

[mikki]

Dawn,at this moment I'm not taking courses,I just recently heard about Empire State college. I'm going to go to our job service office and check it out. I have 14 college credit hours and would love to go back to school if it is possible. They had a whole bunch of stipulations on paying the total tuition. We'll see what they say tomarrow. If you find it please PM me. Thanks a bunch. The only good thing about the bad weather(freezing rain) is husband goes to work, finally some peace and quiet.

 

[DawnT]

Mikki, Check your mail!! :>) Dawn

 

[mikki]

I just wanted to tell everyone who took the time to post and offer me support THANK YOU!!!!!! I feel a little better and I will hit the bricks hard tomarrow, I will be able to do this thanks to all the encouragement I have received from everyone on this site. I never thought a site full of stranger would make me feel the way you guys have made me feel.

 

[DawnT]

Mikki, don't forget - we're family by default- default of the cookin!!