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Old 03-07-2014, 04:03 PM   #1
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Fess-Up

Ok, guys and dolls, tell us your biggest snafus while trying to impress a date. Mine were, in order of most to least severe:

1. On a first date, after running 2 miles on a San Diego beach, with a young lady of about 21 years, me being the same age, I sprinted the last 50 yards or so, did a front flip and landed on my back, on our beach blanket. I'd performed this particular maneuver countless times in Judo classes, and had never had any problems. On this occasion, with me trying to impress her, I ms-cued my jump, and when my back hit the blanket, I knocked the air from my lungs. The young lady said something to the effect of - "Wow! That was spectacular!" I tried valiantly to respond with; "It was nothing. i do it all the time." Of course, since there was no air in my lungs, it came out sounding like I'd just been punched very hard in the solar plexus. It was embarrassing.

2. I sat at a table across from the same girl, in the chow hall. There was a bowl at the table with hot cherry peppers in it. I picked one up and popped it into my mouth. I chewed it up and swallowed it. i wanted to show how "tough" I was. She said; "You can eat those?" I said, as my face turned red, and I began to sweat; "No problem, I eat them all the time." My mouth was burning up. I quickly reached for a glass of milk, and drank the whole thing. My error was obvious. Yep, I was embarrassed again.

3. November, snow on the ground, St. Mary's River, young lady was present, I dove in. 'Nuff said."

Seeeeeya; Chief Longwind of the North

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Old 03-07-2014, 04:40 PM   #2
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Chief!

My sophomore year college roomate thought I was a marvelous cook. She really enjoyed my recipe for Minute Rice cooked with Velveeta. She invited a couple of guys we knew over to our apartment for a spaghetti dinner. I worked on that sauce for hours. My roommate kept insisting on me adding more meat, as "guys really like meat.". So two pounds of hamburger and five bottles of Heinz ketchup (that was the sauce part) later, dinner was served! Surprisingly, the guys really liked it! I don't recall, but I think I browned the hamburger first.
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Old 03-07-2014, 04:45 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by Dawgluver View Post
Chief!

My sophomore year college roomate thought I was a marvelous cook. She really enjoyed my recipe for Minute Rice cooked with Velveeta. She invited a couple of guys we knew over to our apartment for a spaghetti dinner. I worked on that sauce for hours. My roommate kept insisting on me adding more meat, as "guys really like meat.". So two pounds of hamburger and five bottles of Heinz ketchup (that was the sauce part) later, dinner was served! Surprisingly, the guys really liked it! I don't recall, but I think I browned the hamburger first.


I know what you mean. I used to love Chef Boyarde Pizza kits, and hamburger helper. Ramen, well that was the best thing since bologna. Now, not so much. Great story, Dawg.

Seeeeeya; Chief Longwind or the North
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Old 03-07-2014, 04:55 PM   #4
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Mine was extra horrid as I was trying to impress the date AND his mom. We had been dating for some time and his mom came to town (to meet me). She was invited to dinner and I was cooking. I had planned a nice meal that was going to be cooked on the grill - giving everyone something to do and a little space and I had cleaned for days....

The menu was: Lamb skewers, Spanakopita, Salad, Roasted red potatoes and a dessert

The day of dinner I came home early from work and did one last check to make sure I had marinated and prepped the meat, prepped the stuff that had to go in the oven, cleaned the bathroom, I put some fresh flowers out, chilled the wine etc. Then I sat down for a few minutes to relax and regroup. Mistake. The door bell woke me.

The spinach pie takes an hour to bake, the potatoes almost as long. We had a lot of time to kill and mom filled it with extra glasses of wine.

horrible....
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Old 03-07-2014, 05:10 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by Janet H View Post
Mine was extra horrid as I was trying to impress the date AND his mom. We had been dating for some time and his mom came to town (to meet me). She was invited to dinner and I was cooking. I had planned a nice meal that was going to be cooked on the grill - giving everyone something to do and a little space and I had cleaned for days....

The menu was: Lamb skewers, Spanakopita, Salad, Roasted red potatoes and a dessert

The day of dinner I came home early from work and did one last check to make sure I had marinated and prepped the meat, prepped the stuff that had to go in the oven, cleaned the bathroom, I put some fresh flowers out, chilled the wine etc. Then I sat down for a few minutes to relax and regroup. Mistake. The door bell woke me.

The spinach pie takes an hour to bake, the potatoes almost as long. We had a lot of time to kill and mom filled it with extra glasses of wine.

horrible....
Thank goodness for wine! Did Mom wear the lamp shade?
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Old 03-07-2014, 07:40 PM   #6
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Thank goodness for wine! Did Mom wear the lamp shade?
No but after a few glasses she had a personal filter failure started asking questions we weren't prepared to answer
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Old 03-07-2014, 09:03 PM   #7
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Shrimp Scampi - I had a 5 pound frozen brick of raw in the shell shrimp. I had never cleaned a shrimp in my life. I needed no more than a half pound of the darned things. Ended up cleaning and cooking the entire 5 pounds.

Good thing Shrek liked shrimp. I think there's still a package of that in the bottom of the freezer and that was 32 years ago...
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Old 03-08-2014, 02:58 AM   #8
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My dearest friends, I'm laughing so hard I may break something!

Mamma was living in a very nice apartment when she and Papa first begun to date. She decided to cook for him on a date and invited him. At the time, Mamma felt very nervous with Papa, for she told me he made her to go to jelly every time they were together.

She made a very nice dinner of roasted chicken and she bought some very nice white wine.

When they made the toast to clunk the glasses together before dinner, Mamma was so nervous she clunked too hard and the glasses broke and spilled the wine. The wine splashed over the chicken, and they both cleaned it up of the broken glass. The glasses broke in large pieces; there were no shards or splinters.

The chicken and everything was fine, but since opon that anniversary day, nearly two years before they married, Papa takes a small bit of white wine and splashes it upon the chicken every year upon that date when she makes the same thing.

It has become their sweet tradition! I want a marriage as of this. They have three anniversaries: That one, the one upon which they became married, and the day Mamma saw me at the hospital.

I must say Mamma isn't too nervous any more.

With love,
~Cat
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Old 03-08-2014, 10:06 AM   #9
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Originally Posted by CatPat View Post
My dearest friends, I'm laughing so hard I may break something!

Mamma was living in a very nice apartment when she and Papa first begun to date. She decided to cook for him on a date and invited him. At the time, Mamma felt very nervous with Papa, for she told me he made her to go to jelly every time they were together.

She made a very nice dinner of roasted chicken and she bought some very nice white wine.

When they made the toast to clunk the glasses together before dinner, Mamma was so nervous she clunked too hard and the glasses broke and spilled the wine. The wine splashed over the chicken, and they both cleaned it up of the broken glass. The glasses broke in large pieces; there were no shards or splinters.

The chicken and everything was fine, but since opon that anniversary day, nearly two years before they married, Papa takes a small bit of white wine and splashes it upon the chicken every year upon that date when she makes the same thing.

It has become their sweet tradition! I want a marriage as of this. They have three anniversaries: That one, the one upon which they became married, and the day Mamma saw me at the hospital.

I must say Mamma isn't too nervous any more.

With love,
~Cat
Your Mama married a good man. I hope that they are as deeply in love as they were the night the glass was broken. From what you say, it sounds like they are.

Don't settle for any man. Look for a good one.

Seeeeeeya; Chief Longwind of the North
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