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Old 05-27-2008, 08:39 PM   #1
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Have you seen that commercial that says "for the generation that swore it'd never get old...well it hasn't!"? What a load of %#%%^&^$! Did you actually see that guy with the surfboard, who says "never trust anyone over 90"? Is he really supposed to be, what....60? C'mon, I know a 40 year old tri-athlete when I see one.

I, on the other hand, believe me and my 8 remaining eggs are torpedoing towards menopause at breakneck speed. (for all you men that felt you might be interested in a thread that is titled 'for women only', this might be a good time to excuse yourselves...isn't there a surfboard waiting for you, somewhere?)

I am 46, and while my hair believes it's 82 (anyone who goes grey at the tender age of 26 must have some old lady's hair, yes) I feel and act like I'm at least 15 years younger. My ovaries, on the other hand, are already searching the want ads for quiet porches with white, wooden rocking chairs. I always enjoyed a nice, reliable cycle. If I was late, I was pregnant. It doesn't get any easire than that. Now...I have calendars with circles and calendars with triangles. The circles are when I got 'it' the previous month. The triangle is when 'it' actually knocked. It's been some time since a circle and a triangle actually met. March had two circles and one triangle. April had no circles and no triangles, and it feels really bad about that. May, while 27 days in has no circles or triangles to speak of, either, I'm a firm believer in 'it ain't over till the fat lady sings'. I just think those 8 remaining eggs of mine forgot the words to any songs other than auld lang syne.

And what's with the pimples?? I got the typical teenager bouts of zits (godhowihatethatword), purchased stock in the clearasil company, and figured I'd grow out of it. I gotta tell you, if I have to suffer the indignity of one more pimple, I sure as rain better not ever get a wrinkle. As far as I'm concerned, I should be able to tan to my hearts content. I've got a complexion that is, apparently, 2/3 olive oil. No, I'd better not ever wrinkle.

And my feet are always hot. All night long, I have to hang them out of the bed, hoping some errant breeze will twist about them, cooling off the rest of my body. And the nape of my neck tends to get damp during the night. What's with that???? It's as though someone has put a cool compress to the back of my neck, only the compress is invisible and the water I feel actually seeped out.

So, now I'm reading WebMD, getting all sorts of fun filled facts regarding periomenopause. What a name. Perio. Reminds me of where they cut me when I pushed those two kids out, about a hundred years and 3000 eggs ago. First, you hear the doctor say 'you're going to feel some pressure'...when he reallly means 'this is going to hurt a he!! of a lot, but it will help the watermelon pass'. More or less, my kids have moved out. (my daughter visits when she has multiple days off from work and just sleeps and eats when she's here. my son, who sorta still lives here, is in love, and I'm pretty much invisible to them) I'm enjoying the empty nest, wish they'd both just clean out their rooms so I can sell this place. My ovaries, it seems, are all in an uproar about their empty nest. C'mon ladies, I say...push those babies out. Get it over with already.

Remember when Edith Bunker was going through 'the change'? Archie was at wit's end trying to be nice to her, but it was killing him. Finally, he'd had enough, and insisted that if she was going to have a change of life, she had exactly 5 minutes to do it in. C'mon Edith, he said, change!

Perio, indeed....my feet are hot.

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Old 05-27-2008, 08:58 PM   #2
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Been there. Done that. Got the T-shirt. No...got the sweatshirt. Welcome to the world of "over 40," darlin'!

Do you like rollercoaster rides? If you don't, you'd better learn to like them because you are embarking on the ride of a lifetime. Oh, and, learn to be naked. That's the only way - save for a cold shower - you'll cool off during bouts of "hot." Think your feet are hot now, wait for the rest of your body to catch up.

I got cured. Had to have a hysterectomy about 10 years ago because I was in dire straights healthwise. Best decision I ever made.

I'm no longer the "Madwoman of Harlan Hill!"
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Old 05-27-2008, 09:05 PM   #3
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I hear ya. Been there , done that. It's only just begun for you. I'm 61 and half . I still get hot feet , can't bear to wear shoes, I go barefoot all the time in the house and out in the yard.
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Old 05-27-2008, 09:14 PM   #4
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I was lucky (maybe not at the time) going through the change and a $67,000.00 attorney-fee divorce at the ripe age of 37. It was #@!! then but it's great now. And guess what, a hysterectomy is even greater!!!!!! Best thing I ever did for myself. Yea, the nape of your neck - you're only starting babe! Wait until your hair is soaked and plastered to your head and you wake up looking like you already took a shower. :flower:

Oh wait, I'll try to think of something good about it and get back with you
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Old 05-27-2008, 09:18 PM   #5
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Here's one good thing..You can go sit through a football game in 30 degree weather with just a light sweater and feel like it's spring...


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Old 05-27-2008, 09:30 PM   #6
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Wow, Vera, it sounds like you and I are living the same life. (Although I've just recently started with full-on hot flashes that wake me up periodically throughout the night.)

I really hear you on the hair thing - I can't figure out whose hair is on my head now but it's nothing like the hair I used to have. Ditto for my skin. It seems like I woke up one day in someone else's skin (and she must have been old!)

My little purse calendar is dotted with red circles too, that seem to have no discernible cycle at all. Essentially, I have to be ready for "it" to show up at any moment.

You didn't mention crankiness, moodiness and weird spells of forgetfulness. If you haven't experienced those yet, get ready for them.

The up side for me is eventually I will never have to worry about getting pregnant again! Also, I like who I am at this age. I feel confident and self-reliant. I'm more mellow because I know how not to worry about the small stuff anymore because it just doesn't matter. I feel sexier and more attractive now too (but that may be all in my head .) In the end, I just look at it as getting to another stage in life - but it really sucks getting there.
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Old 05-27-2008, 09:30 PM   #7
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Thank you Vera!
If you don't mind I'd like to send this to a few of my friends. It's priceless.
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Old 05-27-2008, 09:45 PM   #8
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Oh Vera, your treatise is worthy of wider distribution for sure. Like Katie, Kadesma, et.al., I have FINALLY stopped having hot flashes and I am grateful. I can remember giving speeches (work-related) and having sweat drip down on my notes so that I couldn't read them! Had to apologize more than a few times because I had to remove my steamed-up glasses and wipe them down. Hang on, kid.
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Old 05-27-2008, 10:30 PM   #9
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Due to chronic medical problems, I may have skipped the menopause phase altogether and recently was pretty much diagnosed as post-menopausal (I'm 45). I sympathize with you, though, Vera. I've heard a lot about "the change" from friends and relatives and it doesn't sound like any fun at all. I do love the way you wrote about it, though Here's hoping it doesn't last too long.
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Old 05-27-2008, 11:06 PM   #10
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Wow! A few months ago I was getting less and less menses. About two months ago they just disappeared I'm fifty years old but have yet to get any symptom's was a late starter when I was younger and have never ever had cramps except in my late 30s when I was going thru a great amount of stress. Always had the most incredible PMS until I got on Paxil and increased my fish oil and calcium and yet no cramps to speak of. I'm still surprised that there are no symptoms so far. I am really hoping I will breeze thru this as I did when I was younger. I do drink some soy milk and take some ground flax seed every few days which is supposed to help with the change.
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