Gotta Stir the Pot

[Chief Longwind Of The North]

Inspired by listening to one of my DD's talking to her mother about "cute" beads:

The difference between men and women:

Jane and Jim are walking through the "Home" department of any big-box store. Jane stops at miniature refrigerator magnets, as one has caught her eye. She says to Jim; "Oh look honey, it's a baby potty chair. Isn't it just so cute?"

Jim replies; "Jane, it's a toilet. And I don't care how small it is, a toilet is never never going to be cute."

And as Forrest Gump would say, "...And that's all I'm going to say about that."


Seeeeeeeeya; Chief Longwind of the North

 

[Mad Cook]

Inspired by listening to one of my DD's talking to her mother about "cute" beads:

The difference between men and women:

Jane and Jim are walking through the "Home" department of any big-box store. Jane stops at miniature refrigerator magnets, as one has caught her eye. She says to Jim; "Oh look honey, it's a baby potty chair. Isn't it just so cute?"

Jim replies; "Jane, it's a toilet. And I don't care how small it is, a toilet is never never going to be cute."

And as Forrest Gump would say, "...And that's all I'm going to say about that."


Seeeeeeeeya; Chief Longwind of the North

As far as this example is concerned I think the difference between men and women is somewhat blurred!

 

[Zagut]

I think the difference between men and women is somewhat blurred!

Oh it's not blurred Mad Cook.

I've seen pictures.

 

[Mad Cook]

Oh it's not blurred Mad Cook.

I've seen pictures.

 

[chiklitmanfan]

Another profound difference between men and women: This is simplistic but let's assume we all categorize our thoughts into neat little imaginary boxes.

Men have a box unique only to them labeled the "NOTHING" box.

It is unfortunate that women do not possess this box because it is the source of much insomnia since women, in general, are unable to turn off their thoughts.

Ladies, when you ask your significant other, or any man, "What are you thinking?"
If they answer "Nothing," take that at face value because they are in their "nothing box." When a man goes to sleep at night he simply goes to his "nothing" box and falls quickly and soundly to sleep.

And, ladies, again, if you ask your significant other or any man for his opinion on a particular matter and he responds "I don't have one," he really-really doesn't because he is in his "nothing" box again.

Works for me......

 

[Andy M.]

...Men have a box unique only to them labeled the "NOTHING" box...

I've never heard it put like that but it works for me. SO does not understand when I don't have an opinion on something. "I don't care" is never an acceptable answer to her.

 

[chiklitmanfan]

Andy, women are relentless with communicating, aren't they? It is the same with my wife of 42 years. I repeatedly tell her (and I have an opinion on just about everything) "If I have an opinion or answer I'll tell you; Otherwise, don't press the point." {:-D]

 

[Hoot]

Mrs Hoot is always asking for my opinion about this or that.
Sometimes, I am sure that my opinion might lead to a disagreement.
Whenever that happens, I recall that audio clip that Arlo used to play on FM 99 way back in the day:
"If you can't say nothing nice, don't say nothing at all."

 

[Cooking Goddess]

Men really need only two phrases to make it work:

1) Yes Dear.

2) I'm sorry Honey.

Everything else is mostly fluff. However, an "I love you" fluff works wonders too.

 

[Andy M.]

Men really need only two phrases to make it work:

1) Yes Dear.

2) I'm sorry Honey.

Everything else is mostly fluff. However, an "I love you" fluff works wonders too.

Definitions:

1) Yes, Dear = I don't agree with you at all but I am tired of arguing about it, so you win.

2) I'm sorry Honey = I'm sorry, OK? So get off my back and leave me alone.

Certain assumptions have been made about the tone and inflections of the above statements.

 

[Chief Longwind Of The North]

Men really need only two phrases to make it work:

1) Yes Dear.

2) I'm sorry Honey.

Everything else is mostly fluff. However, an "I love you" fluff works wonders too.

1) Yes Dear, - really means that I know I'm right, but it isn't worth arguing about.
2) I'm sorry Honey. - translation - I know I'm right, but it isn't worth fighting about.

3) I love you - means that I'm going to say "Yes Dear.", or "I'm sorry Honey" even when there is no possible way that I was wrong to begin with, but I will stay with you forever and not fight or argue about something not worth fighting or arguing about. And sometimes, more often than not really, "I love you." means - I love you.

I still will never understand how a miniature, refrigerator magnet potty chair could ever be considered as cute. And that goes for sandals, shirts, dresses, cars, or any other inanimate object. Cute is reserved for living creatures that evoke feelings of love and tenderness, especially those creatures, including children, who need our love and tenderness just to survive.

Ok, well I have called a few young adult ladies, cute. But then, at the time, in my mind, they needed my love and tenderness just to survive. See how that works?

Seeeeeeya; Chief Longwind of the North

 

[taxlady]

What is with all this sexist bull poop?

 

[Chief Longwind Of The North]

What is with all this sexist bull poop?

Ahh, I'm the least sexist guy you're ever gonna meet. But it's fun to poke a bit. Why, in my teen years, I was known to throw all three of my sisters, the three next door neighbor girls, and a couple of my eldest sister's beutician friends in the river, all in one day. Unfortunately, I no longer live on the river, and my sisters don't live close enough to throw in anymore. This thread is equivalent to that boyhood behavior that still lurks inside my sometimes adolescent brain.

We are all over dramatizing a bit here. But I assure all women, or at least those that behave like reasonable humans (and yes, I'm well aware of the men who behave like junk-yard dogs as well) that I truly believe that you are my equal, not my better, and you are certainly different than me. I believe that we complement each other. And that's the truth.

Hey Taxi, you up for an online water balloon fight.

Seeeeeeya; Chief Longwind of the North

 

[taxlady]

Another profound difference between men and women: This is simplistic but let's assume we all categorize our thoughts into neat little imaginary boxes.

Men have a box unique only to them labeled the "NOTHING" box.

It is unfortunate that women do not possess this box because it is the source of much insomnia since women, in general, are unable to turn off their thoughts.

Ladies, when you ask your significant other, or any man, "What are you thinking?"
If they answer "Nothing," take that at face value because they are in their "nothing box." When a man goes to sleep at night he simply goes to his "nothing" box and falls quickly and soundly to sleep.

And, ladies, again, if you ask your significant other or any man for his opinion on a particular matter and he responds "I don't have one," he really-really doesn't because he is in his "nothing" box again.

Works for me......

I guess I'll have to explain this to my DH. He has a hard time sleeping. I think I have insomnia it it takes me two minutes to fall asleep.

 

[Kayelle]

This may help you guys..


9 Words Women Use (and Men Need to Know)



"Fine" This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

"Five Minutes"

If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.​

"Nothing"

This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.​

"Go Ahead"

This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!​

"Loud Sigh"

This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)​

"That's Okay"

This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.​

"Thanks"

A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' - that will bring on a 'whatever').​

"Whatever"

Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!​

"Don't worry about it, I got it"

Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3.​

 

[Addie]

Perfect Kayelle. Perfect! If none of those don't work there is always the dreaded "Silent Treatment!"

 

[Andy M.]

And people wonder why men can't understand women. Sheesh!

 

[PrincessFiona60]

We like being mysterious...and incorrigible.

 

[cave76]

HER VERSION

I’m confused and worried. My husband’s been quiet lately and I don’t know if it’s something I said or did.

When I ask him if there’s anything wrong, he just replies “No, of course not.” But he doesn’t hug me or kiss me to reassure me.

We went out to dinner tonight. During the entire dinner he seemed distracted. I wondered if he was coming down the something, but he ate all his dinner so I guess he doesn’t feel bad physically.

Perhaps he’s falling out of love with me? Perhaps he’s having an affair?

How can I rekindle our love life and make him love me again?

After dinner we came home and he turned the TV on. I sat next to him, but he didn’t put his arm around me. I finally said that I was going up to bed. He just grunted “Goodnight” and kept staring at the TV.

I lay there trying to figure out how or what to do to make him happy and loving again.

After a while, he came up to bed and we made love. Perhaps all my worrying was for nothing? I hope so.


HIS VERSION

Cowboys lost. Got laid though.

 

[chiklitmanfan]

And furthermore...

Definitions:

Certain assumptions have been made about the tone and inflections of the above statements.

Yep! To wit: "don't look at me with that tone of voice!" {:-D]