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Old 09-11-2007, 10:08 PM   #1
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She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!"


My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, "62." He was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"


After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"


A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"


My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how are we alike?" "You're both old," he replied.


A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?", he asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."


I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her I would point out something and ask what color

it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued At last she headed for the door, saying

sagely, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!"


When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky

insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes

are coming after us with flashlights."


When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised. "mine says I'm four to six."


A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies

today." The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said, "how do you make

babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."


Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure," said the young boy confidently. "It means carrying a child."


A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front
seat of the truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties. "They use him to keep crowds back," said one child. "No," said another, "he's just for good luck." A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants...


May I always be the person my dog thinks I am.

Walk towards the Sunshine and the Shadows will fall behind you!
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Old 09-11-2007, 10:59 PM   #2
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I copyied and pasted this it is precious.. I am sending it to all of my kids..Thanks

Cook with passion or don't cook at all
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Old 09-11-2007, 11:04 PM   #3
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Those were great!!!!!

"Count yourself...you ain't so many" - quote from Buck's Daddy
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Old 09-11-2007, 11:08 PM   #4
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Loved it, Marge. Can relate to many of them. Nice to see you still have your sense of humor. Long live grandmas!!!!!!!!!
"As a girl I had zero interest in the stove." - Julia Child
This is real inspiration. Look what Julia became!
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Old 09-11-2007, 11:19 PM   #5
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This is so charming and funny Marge! Thanks so much for giving me a good laugh on this somber day.
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Old 09-12-2007, 12:12 AM   #6
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Thanks for the laugh, Marge!
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Old 09-12-2007, 12:23 AM   #7
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Ahhh Marge, You are the perfect DC gramma. We're so lucky to have you..
HEAVEN is Cade, Ethan,Carson, and Olivia,Alyssa,Gianna
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Old 09-12-2007, 06:04 AM   #8
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Those were so cute, thanks for sharing. Out of the mouth of babes, can't beat it !
Grandma's Boys - Isaiah (11) Cameron (3 )
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Old 09-12-2007, 09:26 AM   #9
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Thank you for a few early morning chuckles.

Life is short.So eat great food!
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